A few months ago when I started getting serious about my weight loss (5'1F down 17.5 pounds in 3.5 months), I was listening to this podcast by Cookie Rosenblum called Weight Loss Made Real, While I've since stopped listening (only because I feel like I've gotten into a good groove), I wanted to share 3 things that were helpful to me:
1) It can be an act of self-love to say no to ourselves.
Just as we might discourage a child from filling up on excess sweets, we can also tell ourselves no from a place of love. This was monumental for me because I came from a background of ED recovery and telling myself no always brought up these intense feelings of fear, deprivation, and desperation, but this reframe helped me see that no can come from a place of love. Also, I've allowed myself to say "no, not right now" or "no, not that much" - and even that adjustment to how I talk to myself has been helpful for cutting back on sweets, junk food, and mindless overeating.
2) We can accept ourselves and also have goals for ourselves at the same time.
At my HW (175) I was deep in a pit of self-loathing. Looking at my body brought up a lot of feelings of shame, embarrassment, and repulsion. Those are some pretty strong feelings and while I can't say they've totally dissipated, they've been moderated a bit. Cookie had a whole episode on why you can't come from a place of self-loathing on your weight loss journey, because you constantly beat yourself up for every small failure. These strong emotions recur with every small misstep of your diet, which are bound to happen! Learning to say "My body is ok as it is" AND "I'd like to lose 65 pounds [total], and that's also ok" made me feel like I didn't need to claw my skin off just to get out of my body because my body won't be like this forever and because making a single mistake on my diet doesn't mean I'll never lose weight. Both things can be true at the same time.
And 3) You need to learn to eat like a skinny person.
Now, this point not ring true for everyone, but what Cookie says is that many skinny people are not counting their calories, tracking their macros, stressing over every meal. I don't know for what proportion of thin people this is actually true for, but I can say that this advice helped me observe (non -judgmentally) what I ate and what people thinner than me ate, and try out their meals. Lo and behold, I found that if I ordered a side salad instead of fries with my burger, I felt fine; if I went for a single slice of pizza instead of two, I was fine; if ordered my latte with a different kind of milk and sugar free vanilla syrup, I was fine. It all still tasted good and I still enjoyed it.... and it was aligned with my goal of losing weight.
Maybe these are obvious points to others, but they really helped me reframe my weight loss. This is the most weight I've lost despite many repeated attempts over the last 3 years or so, and I'm feeling empowered and confident that I will eventually (slowly and healthfully) get to my GW.
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