..using a throwaway I save for really personal stuff...
For me, the breaking point was my family beach vacation in 2017. I hated how I looked and felt. I was panicking as I realized I needed to by larger shorts and t-shirts. I was in my early 40s, male, 5'10" and about 217 lbs. According to BMI, just this side of obese, for the first time in my life.
I felt embarrassed, worthless, and hopeless. but I am a doer, and an experimenter. I didn't think about it this way at the time, but I began experimenting on my own body and mind.
When I got back home, I immediately threw myself into weight loss. I made some mistakes. I started by ordering a meal replacement shake online that is still heavily advertised. I dropped a few pounds right away, but I suspect this concoction gave me a case of gout.
I tried intermittent fasting. Again, three or four pounds here and there, but here is what kept happening: I would "successfully" fast until 10 or 11 a.m., and at 4:30 I would devour everything in my pantry, and then feel like hell for the rest of the night.
I tried just cardio, just weights, cardio and weights. Can't stick to an exercise plan for more than a month. Still can't.
Recently my wife has had a kind of awakening. She has changed how she thinks about food, especially meat, and has begun flirting with plant based diets. I also have had some long, hard thinks about meat and my relationship to it, and I told her I would join her. So, we've been slowly cutting down (not eliminating) meat from our diets. The meat we do eat is grass-fed, pasture-raised, etc. etc.
I've had terrible acid reflux , on and off, for many years, even before I became obese. It's gotten worse despite meds, despite sleeping on an inclined pillow, despite being somewhat fanatical about not eating past 6:30 p.m. I have been seeing a chiropractor about back pain. He wants to talk to me about my diet, but I don't want to discuss it with him. I just want him to make my back make terrible noises and then I feel slightly better for a few more days.
But, he suggested eliminating dairy. While I was already cutting way down on meat, I thought, sure, why not. So I cut way down (did not eliminate) dairy.
Meanwhile, and here's a curveball: For about two months, I experimented with microdosing LSD. It's interesting! But it was unsustainable for me, so I stopped. When I did, something happened. I have nearly quit drinking without realizing it, and without consciously meaning to.
I love drinking. But I find weeks zing by without it crossing my mind. I'll have a drink or two to be social, but I'm not reaching for it after I've had a long day, for example.
The pounds started dropping.
This morning, I weighed in at 195. No longer obese. My face is noticeably less round. I have a smaller neck. There are some, um, personal attributes that just look better. My reflux is receding (but not gone).
It feels easier to get up and go for a two mile walk.
I'm not craving the things I've been cutting out.
I don't know what happened or how this all fits together, but, at least today, I can't imagine going back.
Be well everyone
