At my highest weight, I was 250lbs. About 4 years ago, I got my act together and tracked calories diligently at approximately 1500 calories per day. I went to the gym 4-5 times per week and lost almost 60lbs. Getting into one-derland was triumphant!
After a few months of hard work, I started slacking. My drive was gone. I would try to track calories, but it was like I was burned out and could never get back on track with that. I started over-indulging in food again. The scale started creeping upward to 215lbs and it has stayed there ever since.
I never stopped going to the gym because I enjoy it and have an awesome personal trainer. I like the challenges, pushing my body. I know that my consistent gym attendance is the only thing that kept me from completely losing control of my weight again.
I took up running last year and ran my first 5k last fall. I used to HATE running, but discovered the proper way to start so I didn’t get discouraged (hint: run very slow to start, build your speed through time and training... don’t rush it!). I was slow with my finish time, but I did it and got the medal to prove it! Despite this success, my weight still wasn’t significantly changing because my eating is my greatest self-sabotage.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how the hell I got into the proper mindset during my first bout of weight loss. I looked back at my food records to see what I was eating. It wasn’t anything unusual, just less. For the life of me, I couldn’t recapture that drive that I had.
A friend of mine wants to do a Spartan Race this year, so we started training together a couple of months ago. For me, my participation was contingent on me losing weight because Spartans are super tough. With our training, I was getting stronger, but not lighter.
This past Monday, it clicked in my mind that I only have a few short months until decision day. Will I physically be able to participate in a super badass race? If I didn’t change what I was doing, I definitely could not join in no matter how much I exercise. You can’t out run the calories.
After years of repeatedly telling myself, “this is Day 1 of my weight loss journey!” and “I am really going to do it this time!”, on Monday I put MyFitnessPal in a prominent spot on my phone’s screen and got to work. Over the years, reliving that Day 1 over and over felt really discouraging. Like I was drowning and couldn’t swim to the surface for a breath of air. But this time is different. I can feel it because I have felt it before. I started pre-planning what I was going to eat for the next day. I have plans for what to cook this weekend in preparation for next week.
Today is day 5 of a perfect streak of tracking and exercising. Even a general meal plan is far easier than entirely winging it when mealtime comes and I have given food no thought until I was suddenly STARVING.
The last time that I was successful at weight loss, I knew that I needed one “cheat” day on the weekend, so that I didn’t feel deprived and end up binging. Knowing that day is coming helps with the strict days when I just want some damn french fries! I am looking forward to having some pizza tomorrow while watching hockey, but I also look forward to Sunday when I will be preparing healthy food for the week.
It is coming back to me how I was so successful the first time because this all feels familiar and like it’s the beginning of something amazing. I am writing this to remind myself of how that feels and what I need to do to get to this place for when I forget in the future because I know I will. If this post helps others, then that would be incredible.
To summarize for myself, Trisha816, here is what you need to do when you feel things are going off of the rails or are feeling helpless:
- You stress eat. Find your calm. Snuggle your fur babies, hug your partner, read a book … anything to distract you from feeding your anxiety.
- Track your damn calories. Yes, one indulgence isn’t the end of the world, but when you fill each day with many small indulgences, that adds up. Tracking helps you see that.
- Something about tracking, seeing the numbers / hard evidence, signals something in your brain that you are not as hungry as you think you are. Seeing the number of calories you eat reminds you that yes, you have already fed your body a sufficient amount of food so you do not need to keep eating. Suddenly, you aren't as hungry as you thought you were.
- Have achievable workout goals. Last year was a 5k. This year is the Spartan. Never stop setting goals.
- Plan your food, don’t just wing it.
- Cook all the vegetables. ALL of them. In bulk. You love the protein part of your meals, so you know you will get that done no matter how tired or busy you are. But when you are feeling ravenous and pressed for time, you consider vegetables optional when you should be filling up on those instead of the foods that are healthiest in moderation. Buy vegetables pre-chopped (organic grocery delivery is the best!) and just toss them in the oven with some seasoning. Very easy. No excuses. You just need to do it! The more vegetables you eat, the less room you will have for empty calories.
- You don’t have to eat your entire meal at once. Eat a little bit until you are satiated, and then wait until you are feeling hungry again to eat a bit more. Slowing down and being mindful about your eating works wonders to stop the snacking and eating all the treats co-workers leave in the kitchen.
- If your friends want to have junk food / fast food, you don’t have to join them. They know your struggles and support you, so you don’t have to worry about them pressuring you. Just… you do you and reap the rewards. If you don’t, you will definitely binge eat when you embark on that slippery slope.
- The scale doesn’t know you. It measures your weight at one particular point in time. It does not know that you had a little more sodium than usual the previous day, it doesn’t know that you just finished your cheat day and are right back on track today, it doesn’t know you just drank a big glass of water an hour ago. It doesn’t know you and all the variables that affect your weight, so use those measurements to drive you further but don’t let them define your progress.
For everyone who has made it this far, I have one last recommendation. I thought I understood food, but there is so much false information out there, fad diets, fake “healthy” foods, people giving advice that is well-intentioned but misleading, and so on. The single most useful source of information about food I have found is a book called “What to Eat” by Marion Nestle. In my opinion, it was incredibly well researched and contained simple truths as well as direct information that guides my every day healthy eating choices.
Best of luck to everyone, today is a new day and let’s all live it to our best!
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