What can you do for your spouse?

A long time ago, I met and married my wife. We were both fat -- we both still are.

Along the way, we had a daughter and she started dieting (it was Atkins back then). I was 350+ pounds, and thought, why not. It stuck and I lost weight. I kept losing. I am now 230 pounds dripping wet, and working out regularly. I stall for long periods of times, I drift off, but in general I don't gain weight. After a long stall, I've dropped 30 pounds in three years. I certainly still have work to do, for sure.

My wife drifted off it, and never got back on. She's continued to gain weight and seems to be addicted to sugar. It's accelerated and I'm extremely worried about her health and ability to function as we age. She honestly can't walk 100 yards without a break. She refuses to get physicals (surely to avoid the scale).

Having been fat my entire life,I goddamn well knew I was fat, and didn't need anyone to tell me or "help" me. She's the same way.

And for her, this is wrapped in the way her mother treated her as a kid. She's got serious problems but still isn't truly unhealthy. I worked hard to get her to do a blood test, to be sure she wasn't diabetic, which she currently isn't. But she balked and delayed even that.

I don't care if she's thin. But I'm terrified at her health in general and where it's headed. The only time I broached the topic, it didn't go well and I doubt I did any good. My pitch was about her general health and well being, not her size.

Probably this is deeper than the physical, and is bound up in her self-esteem. She doesn't seem to think she's worth the work (and she's a terrific person). I wouldn't have the first idea of how to get her to see a therapist, but I think she needs it in general, before she can make any progress.

I had people who tried to "help" by giving me weight loss advice, and I remember having to unwind all of that in my head before I was ready to commit to it. I can tell her how much better I feel, and how much better my daily life is after losing, but that's all things she knows anyway. Like I said, all fat people know what they are. None of us have any delusions. She knows, but she's highly resistant to taking any actions. I just don't know what to do.

submitted by /u/headshotscott
[link] [comments]

from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2DBD5WC