Hey y'all! This is going to be a long post so buckle up. Firstly: You might (rightly) think that losing 20 pounds does not make me an expert on weight loss and I have no right to post a guide. I am definitely not an expert! However, I've struggled my whole adult life with this and I finally, finally have a handle on it, and I just want to share how I accomplished that so that hopefully other people can benefit from my struggle. Personally, my goal weight at this point is 170 so I still have a ways to go, but for the first time ever I have no doubt that I'll get there.
Onwards! The major realization that has allowed me to get this far and will allow me to continue to succeed is this: Losing weight (and maintaining weight lost) is a lifelong commitment. For years, I had this idea in my mind that I would buckle down and lose some weight (I did this many times) and then I would reach a promised land where I was at a good weight and could stop worrying so much about exercise and what I ate. This is just not true. I think if you really, truly want to lose weight and get healthy, you have to realize that you are committing not just for this week or this month or this year, but for life. This, then, allows you to realize that if you slip up or even if you significantly backslide, it really isn't that big a deal - it's just a little bump on your lifelong journey. I think a lot of advice shies away from this point because it makes starting to lose weight seem daunting. However, in my mind it's just not realistic to expect long term results until you have this mindset switch. That said - here are the rules I am using for weight loss (in order of importance):
- Avoid Temptation - I cannot stress this enough. First off, I am a chocohaulic. I mean that seriously. I crave chocolate, and I have experienced withdrawals when I cut myself off cold turkey. People often laugh at me when I say this, but I'm dead serious - I've never really experienced addiction in any other way (cigarettes, alcohol, etc) but from listening to people who have experienced those things, it sounds very similar to my experiences with chocolate. So the first thing I had to do was cut myself off cold turkey from chocolate. It's much easier to set a hard and fast rule (absolutely none, no exceptions) than to try and control myself (ok, only one piece today and none tomorrow, or only one bar this week, or whatever). This sucks. It absolutely sucks, because I love chocolate. But in the end, it comes down to: Do I want the immediate (and amazing) but very temporary pleasure I get from eating chocolate, or do I want to forego that in order to feel better about myself?
Furthermore, avoiding temptation is not just about chocolate. I really love eating and I love good food. I'm also a fairly social person, so I would go out to eat with friends a lot. And again, my self control around delicious food sucks. So for instance, if I go to a 5 guys (burger place), I'm getting a big bacon cheeseburger. Realistically, if I walk into that restaurant, that's just happening. I lied to myself for years thinking, 'oh I'll just go but I'll be careful about what I choose.' Guess what? I ate exactly what I wanted every time. Again, much easier to just say, 'nah, I already ate/have leftovers/ whatever, but why don't we go out for coffee/tea/etc instead?'
If you can avoid putting yourself in a position where you're probably going to fuck up, then you're already halfway to victory. Also, side note: One of the most important changes I made in my life is starting to cook for myself. I can make delicious but healthy meals, and have leftovers so I don't have to cook every day. Since restaurants and fast food were the biggest problem with my eating, this one change was incredibly helpful.
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Learn the difference between full (not hungry, but could still eat) and full (stuffed): Again, loving food, this was difficult for me. My default setting was eating until I was stuffed. And when I say stuffed, I don't mean uncomfortable (I often wasn't). I just mean, can't eat another bite full. But there is a difference between that and "I've eaten enough where I'm no longer hungry." The first step, for me, was just realizing where that no longer hungry point was. Then, I started making a mental note of how much food it took me to get there (I actually have bowls in my house where I basically know: If I fill this bowl and eat it all, I won't be hungry when I'm done but I won't be stuffed either). Finally, I started portion controlling myself: I usually cook for 3-4 days, so I only eat 1/3 (or 1/4) of what I make and absolutely never go back for seconds. The good news is that if you really commit to doing this for 2 to 3 weeks, it gets MASSIVELY easier. I found that my body kind of reset to "oh, ok, this is what full feels like" after a few weeks. But those first few weeks totally sucked.
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Exercise. Again, consistency is key. And the key to consistency is finding exercise that you A, actually like doing, and B, is convenient. For instance, I don't like most forms of exercise but I found I loved rock climbing. There was a gym right next to my house as well - bingo! However, I moved a few months ago and the gym is much further away. Guess what? Even though I love rock climbing, I stopped going. So now I jog or hike most days. If you hate the exercise you choose, there's NO WAY you're going to keep it up long term. Find something you like, and remember: It doesn't have to be grueling. Just committing to a 30 minute walk every day is enough. Who doesn't have 30 minutes? Commit to take a half hour out of the 2 hours we all spend dicking around on reddit every day and go exercise.
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Compromise, but not too much! Again, realize that this is a lifelong goal. Figure out the things that you can't live without or NEED some sort of compromise on, and work that into your weight loss routine so you don't get discouraged. Here are the things that I picked:
A - Dinner is always my biggest meal. This is not ideal for weight loss/not the healthiest decision, but I am always most hungry at night, and eating a smaller dinner (and a bigger breakfast, for instance) just isn't realistic for me because my cravings would get the better of me if I tried to do that. So again, I cook a healthy dinner most nights, but it's my biggest meal of the day and that's all right.
B. For big events (birthdays, vacations, etc) I have adopted an all bets are off mentality. By which I mean: When I'm on vacation, or if it's a friend's birthday or there's some big cause for celebration, I just say 'fuck it,' enjoy myself, and eat whatever I want. I recently went out of town for a few days to a friend's wedding and gained a few pounds back. But I didn't worry about it, because this is a lifelong journey. I came home, got myself back on track (NO EXCUSES, your brain WILL try to screw you here), and lost the weight again. Now, I'm not saying these two things are good compromises, but they work for me because I know I can commit to staying on track. Figure out what works for you and what you can compromise on, but BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. Chocolate, for me, would not work as a compromise because I know I'd be screwed if I did anything but give it up completely.
And that's it! Please forgive the rambling! I really hope this helps somebody out there, good luck!
EDIT: Somehow the formatting got fucked up so it says 1, 1, 2, 3, instead of 1 2 3 4 but I'm leaving it because I don't know how to fix it.
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