Tuesday, September 3, 2019

Anyone else feel weak?

I feel weak for gaining 30lbs in 4 months and not having lost any of it. This whole year has been nothing but failure for me because I can’t stop stop binging like the hog I am and eat my feelings as if it’s gonna help. I’m so ashamed, I’m so weak, and I’m so disgusting. I was supposed to be happily maintaining my weight loss but no, here I am maintaining my weight re-gain and feeling worse than ever.

I’ve accepted that I will forever be stuck in the binge cycle... doing good for a few days, then gaining the 5lbs or so back, losing it again, and so forth. It’s just impossible. I’m too weak to change and no amount of confidence, positive thinking, and motivation ever made me change. It’s basically over for me. I’ve accepted I will never know true happiness. I will forever just watch skinny, beautiful people get all that they want out of life while I cry and fantasize about having what they do. Having what I was too weak to work for.

Anyone else in this forum as hopeless as I am? Or used to be?

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30lbs down and feeling "good" for the first time since I can honestly remember.

I've been having some serious stomach and digestion issues for so long now that I don't remember what it was like without them. They are the reason I got into nutrition in the first place. I'm pretty sure they are also the reason I'm a senior in college studying biochemistry to learn more about my issues and maybe fix them. Through all the time I've put into figuring it out, only one guy really helped me. Not all weight loss is healthy. I had to figure out on my own that I gained weight because I was unhealthy, instead of I got unhealthy because I gained weight. It lead me to look more into metabolically stimulating diets instead of weight loss diets (a lot of these are very bad for the working of the metabolic system). Nathan Hatchs' book "Fuck Portion Control" both in theory and biochemically (I brought some of the more scientific material to my professors and they all agreed with it) made so much sense to me. His ideas seem to be the most correct to me if you define health by metabolic function. I highly recommend this book over anything else for health and, as a result, weight loss. Picture maybe nsfw??: http://imgur.com/a/U8wP9c9

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NSV: Mom noticed my weight loss

I love my mom, and she knows how I've struggled with my weight, but doesn't comment on it unless I mention it. She definitely follows her own mom in baking a lot of food/treats for her kids and grandkids while never eating much herself.

I was at my heaviest at 267 at 5'9" earlier this summer but managed to lose about 30 lbs through CICO using my FitBit and MyFitnessPal, exercise about 5 days per week (doing P90 and occasionally riding bike), and being in the LoseIt challenge (currently at 234 lbs, shout-out to Cassiopeia!). I also really love diet soda and have used it to suppress my appetite, though not to replace any meals, and to use it as a snack (Diet Dr. Pepper and Coke Zero mostly). Also keeping my alcohol drinking to a minimum.

I visited her recently and she said pretty nonchalantly "I can tell you lost weight." Told her that I want to lose even more, and she said "Do it! Keep it up." She proceeded to tell me about her own weight and how she wanted to lose (she's in normal BMI range but 5'2" and somewhat self-conscious about her weight). She ended by saying we could exercise together (we live in the same city) and I thought we totally should.

Anyway, totally low-key conversation but I was super happy to get recognition of my weight loss so far. Good luck, all!

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Finally hit "normalweight" after a deliberately long and careful weight loss plan

I've posted here before but now that I've been in the "normalweight" category for exactly 1 month I'm going to share my findings of this whole weight loss thing. I'll also share progress pics, but since I didn't take any until I lost 30lbs I can't show the full transformation. I started my journey on February 6th of 2018, so this has all taken place over roughly a year and a half.

I'm now 33 years old and 5'10". I started this whole journey when I realized I had a PROBLEM with eating. I'm not here to shame anyone for eating what they want, when they want. If you are legitimately happy doing what you're doing that is 100% your business and nobody else's unless you are causing harm to others.

That said, it took a wake up call for me to realize that my "status quo" was not healthy. In my head, I was fine. I might have been a "little chunky" since grad school, but that was fine. I might have cravings for food at strange times, but that also was fine. I was just hungry, people get that way right? It wasn't until my wife thought I was cheating on HER because she found a receipt for two breakfasts (in the same sitting) in my pocket that I had deliberately not told her about when she was looking for my truck keys. At that point I had to sit back and ask myself "why did I not tell her about having breakfast that day?". The answer was simple. Deep down I knew I had a problem with eating too much and too poorly.

So despite my early statement saying that what, when and how much you eat is not anyone's business but your own. MAKE IT YOUR OWN BUSINESS. I was objectively overweight, had poor blood pressure a general lack of energy and my love live was suffering for it and had my wife not been loving and supportive regardless of my size she may well have left me since I struggled to do any of the activities she fell in love with me doing.

That day I sat down and researched weight loss. I found Keto, Atkins, Veganism, IF, Weight Watchers and a whole pile of free, paid and restrictive plans. I know for a fact I wouldn't stick with Keto. I like carbs, and I don't stick with stuff I don't like doing. I am fine eating a plant-based diet, and 90% of the time I do simply because it's cheaper, healthier and easier than cooking meat, but I do like a steak and I didn't want to "fall off the bandwagon" everytime I wanted some meat. I also often work remotely for weeks on end, so a plan like WW or JC would probably not work out for me. That left IF and counting calories. IF is simply a way of restricting calories. I can't guarantee that I'll be able to eat in the same window every day so I decided plain old vanilla CICO was the ticket. I downloaded my app and set a goal of 1.5 lbs per week. This is a slower goal than most but I wanted to minimize the impact on my life and reduce the chance for loose skin. I still have a little, but not bad considering a weight loss of 80lbs.

At first, it was easy. At 260lbs my base calorie intake was still pretty high to hit my target. It was easy to still have 1000+ calorie treat meals in the day while still having 1200 other calories throughout the day. As I dropped below 200lbs I really had to be more selective about what I ate and have consequently begun eating healthy as well as lower calorie, almost by accident. Once I hit 190lbs I dropped my goal to 0.5 lbs per week so that I would gradually transition into maintenance rather than bounce off the bottom so to speak. It gave my body time to acclimate to increased intake without starting up cravings.

Throughout this journey I have gotten back into cycling in a big way. I'm actually faster than I ever was in my early 20s. I've competed in 3 races this summer with another one scheduled in September with over 1400m of climbing in a single day. My bike actually works properly now that my suspension doesn't have to be inflated to the max pressure just to keep from bottoming out on every little bump and I have SO MUCH ENERGY. Like, I'm one of those people I used to despise. I used to be "tired" after riding 15 minutes to the store and back for a pack of candy, last month I rode Silverstar bike park 3 days in a row, drove home to Calgary and rode another bike park for 2 hours before going home. Then proceeded to drive back out to the mountains the next day to go for a 30km ride with a buddy and haven't missed a day of riding since. I've gone and pedaled up Moose Mtn 3 times in one day, then just as I was about to leave a friend showed up and asked if I wanted to shuttle for another 4 hours and I while I was exhausted afterwards, I still felt good.

People I know don't recognize me anymore, and I've gotten some snarky comments from overweight friends and family. They all shut up quickly when they realized I just simply don't care what they think. I'm happy, healthy and energized and eventually that just sort of wins people over. A few of them have decided to start their own weight loss journeys and I'm all for it. I provide help when asked and support when needed but I will never push my own ideas on anyone.

I'm lucky in that I never had a back slide. I credit this to finding a sport I love again and to setting very conservative goals. To say I was targeting "healthy" over "weight loss" is incorrect. I absolutely wanted to lose weight first and foremost. But I wanted to do it in such a way as to improve my performance in every aspect of my life. I wanted to be a better rider, a better geologist, a better husband and a better dog owner.

So, long story short: do what you can do to get healthy and lose weight. But if my experience is any indication it might be easier to make it stick the first time if you are OK with the long-game. Crashing a bunch of weight in a short period of time may feel awesome, but never having a back-slide feels pretty stellar too.

Progress pics (I'm a pudgy topless dude in this so be warned).

235-178lbs

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Running Planner with Day and Weather free printable

Hello! How’s it going? I have a free printable Running Planner with space for you to note the day and time of your run AND what the weather forecast is for that time. This is super important when you’re training for a race and the weather adds an additional challenge. Extreme weather conditions affect your […]

The post Running Planner with Day and Weather free printable appeared first on Run Eat Repeat.



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I know this was a terrible idea but its done now so wish me luck!

Bridesmaid for a wedding in mid-February. Went dress shopping at Davids Bridal a few weeks ago-bride said we can wear any full-length style as long as its our assigned color, mine is dark green. Loved one of the dresses, decided to wait to buy so I could hopefully finally restart my weight loss journey and buy it in a smaller size. I tried on a size 20 which fit around my bust but had some extra room everywhere else.

Well, I got an email from DB yesterday that they were having a bridesmaid dress clearance sale and of course my dress was in there so I had to pull the trigger. And I ordered...a size 16.

Worst case scenario I can find a long dark green bridesmaids dress last minute if it doesn't fit (since this wedding is choose your own style) and I'll just be out $130 but I'm hoping it'll be the motivation I need to finally kickstart this thing once and for all! I've dropped a bit before with CICO and exercise and just didnt keep it up so I already know what will work for my body, just need to do it! Wish me luck... :S

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1 Year Anniversary - 30lbs down - M 37 / 5'11 / SW: 195, CW: 164 - Progress Pics (NSFW)

TL;DR: 195ish to 164ish in 1 year, 37M 5’11

Pics: https://imgur.com/Lqn9pZM

Happy Scale Weight Graph for the Year: https://imgur.com/Kwmfmqg

One year ago, I decided to “go on a diet” for the first time in my life. I had just returned from a couple of days at the beach. I had felt pretty uncomfortable in my own skin and that put a damper on what would have been an otherwise pleasant vacation. I was feeling that discomfort with my appearance more and more. It bummed me out. A lot.

Earlier in the year, after nearly 3 years of Crossfit, I injured my wrist and had to stop working out for a while. I didn’t change my eating habits during that time, so I saw the muscle I had gained during Crossfit disappearing and getting replaced with fat. Because of my eating habits, I was always a bit chubby throughout Crossfit (195-205lbs). The workouts tended to counterbalance my bad habits rather than lead me to getting really fit. Without that counterbalance, I saw where my habits were ultimately leading me, and I didn’t like it. I happened to come across a /loseit post in early September and decided to make a change.

I have neglected my relationship with food my entire life, so learning about CICO, TDEE, and what drives me to eat has been a very elucidating experience. Before, I was approaching every meal as an eating contest and consuming way past feeling satiated. I would sit down and finish a big bag of chips on a whim. When I started trying to lose, I started asking questions like ‘why am I eating this when I am not hungry anymore?’ And those questions lead to deeper questions and realizations about unhappiness, depression, etc. I was over eating for a lot of reasons, none of which had much to do with hunger.

So this weight loss journey has been a bit more than just seeing the number on the scale go down. It’s been about becoming more conscientious concerning my health (both physical and mental).

That being said, I am happier with what I see in the mirror nowadays. I was taken aback when I saw my old pics next to current ones. I was expecting a subtle difference, but was surprised to see I had made more progress than I thought. I am feeling more motivated than ever to take this as far as I can.

Regarding methodology, I was able to lose without tracking in MFP. I was willing to track if I had no other choice, but I wanted to try to do it by feel first and found that I could. I jumped around a bunch of different strategies…I tried various types of intermittent fasting and eating on different schedules. Weighing myself every day helped me a lot. I was able to spot trends and cut my self off from bad habits before doing too much damage. I used the weekly Weigh In Wednesday thread as a journaling device to keep track of what I was trying, how it made me feel, and what effect it had on the scale.

Looking at the Happy Scale weight trend, I went from losing pretty quickly at first to a much slower pace in early 2019. That is because I eventually landed on an eating schedule and strategy that worked for me and didn’t interfere with my productivity. I had reached the point where I didn’t really want to eat any less, so instead I wanted to try working out harder (since my wrist had healed). I couldn’t afford to go back to Crossfit, but I ran into a buddy from my old box that was in the same situation, so we started doing Crossfit-style workouts at our gym. That has kept going and gotten progressively more intense as the year has gone on. Those hard work outs have kept me losing while also causing some positive changes in my body composition.

I finally made it back to the beach at the end of July, and I’ve tried to return once per week since that visit. It felt really good to enjoy myself without a specter of self consciousness.

Thank you to everybody on this subreddit for sharing your experiences and knowledge. I tend to lurk more than participate, but I came across many insightful posts that helped me over the past year.

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