Saturday, April 25, 2020

Halfway to my goal! And a different kind of weight loss tracker :)

26F/5'6" SW:150lbs CW:137lbs GW:125lbs
Trackers & Progress Pic

I started my weight loss journey as a new year's resolution for 2020. My goal is to lose 25lbs in 250 days (averages out to 0.7lbs per week). Today I hit my halfway point, and I'm so excited! I'm even slightly ahead of schedule! I started with strict CICO, but it wasn't really showing me the progress I wanted and I felt like it was too restrictive and not sustainable long term. Mid February I switched over to IF (18:6 or 20:4) and absolutely love it! I'm still seeing great progress even with the coronavirus shutting down all the gyms. For April I decided to give alternate day fasting a try, but I'm seeing the same progress as I was doing shorter daily fasts, so in May I will switch back to 20:4.

The fun part of this post - my weight loss tracker/motivator! I use a little vase with pretty blue pebbles to keep me motivated. Each pebble represents 0.5lbs, and when my trendline goes down I take one out. The vase will be empty when I hit my goal weight! It's a simple but fun way to visualize your weight loss, and I get so happy every time I get to take one out :)

Weight loss can be super intimidating, but breaking down your goal into smaller, achievable milestones paves the way to success!

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First post here. I want to document my weight loss and fitness journey and be held accountable. I want this time to be different.

Currently, I am the most I have ever weighed in my life. Through most of my life I was very petite/thin, I struggled with my eating. I was 108lbs which is the least I have ever weighed and it was NOT good. Now, I was also a huge stoner as well. Still am. I met my boyfriend in 2015, developed a healthier relationship with food and eventually would get so stoned that I would just eat and eat and eat. After almost 5 years of doing that, I gained about 60 lbs. Because I was so thin and was told by my doctor to gain weight, in the beginning I didn’t really think too much about it, and would be like “Oh well I can do this, I’m too skinny and need to gain!” And then I did. I reached around 125-130 and felt SO happy with my body - I also got lots of compliments from friends back home when I would visit family about how I looked so much better/healthier and how they were happy for me etc. so I thought “okay! I have a healthy relationship with food now!” And I would eat to my heats content. And then I didn’t stop. I just kept gaining.

Now, I’m around 160lbs. (https://pixxxels.cc/sGrWGXT8) Give or take a few. I haven’t weighed myself in a few months, I only weigh myself at the doctor and have never let a scale be in the house - I focus too much on numbers and I don’t want to get too overly critical of my body and such. I might eventually get a scale, but I haven’t really decided on that.

I want to take the steps to get back down to the weight I was the most happy at. I feel that 125 is a healthy and acceptable weight and I want to be happy with my body again. I want to be able to keep up with my dog and go hiking and feel fit and wear clothing that I like wearing. I’m tired of hiding my weight gain in leggings and oversized shirts. I have the equipment, I just need the motivation.

For the last 2 weeks I’ve been monitoring my eating - no calorie counting, I’m not sure if I want to do that. But no binge eating, making healthy choices. I’ve been trying to work out at least every other day but I’m having this problem where I feel nauseous constantly. I get DOMS in my belly, after ab work outs and it makes me feel SO sick to the point where the next day I can’t really work out. I might go for a 15 min walk with the dog but I really can’t do much else. I paid a trainer for a full body workout circuit plan- it has 3 circuits and is about an hour long work out. I’ve been doing yoga almost daily. My biggest problem is just, keeping it going and not giving up after 2-3 months when I don’t see the results I want. The last time I tried getting fit at around 140, I got SUPER into fitness. Like I was obsessed. I would weight train 4 days a week and lost about 10 lbs but could not drop the last 5, I was frustrated and gave up and then gained even more weight 2 years later. I want to prevent that from happening. I don’t want to get frustrated with my body! And I just need a little pep talk.

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Does losing weight make you happy? F, 18. SW:196 CW: 170ish GW: 145

How does it feel to reach your goal weight? Because I’m starting to think t he media really hypes up weight loss. Even I am buying into the idea that when I lose weight, I’ll be a different person.

Losing weight is fucking with my head, honestly. I wake up in the morning and I look goal-weight skinny. Then, I look completely different in pictures. And the second I take a drink of water, or eat anything, I look huge again. (Bloating, I think). It’s so frustrating.

I have 4 months to lose weight before uni, but it really fucking sucks. Not the exercise, or the healthy eating. The not even knowing what I truly look like, between the mirror, pictures, whether I choose to wear flattering clothing, what time of goddamn day it is.

Please motivate me, or something.

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Hit another weight loss plateau

SW: 125kg/275 pounds CW: 116 Kg/255 pounds GW: 85Kg/187 pounds I hit a plateau every 5Kg/11 pounds, I have lost 44 pounds in the past but I recovered all those weight and now I have managed to lose some weight again.

Due the quarantine, I decided to return to Intermittent fasting and keep doing cardio sessions almost every day (600kcal to 1200kcal). I also control my calories but I decided to not pay too much attention to macros (carbs keep me full).

I weight every morning and I was expecting to reach 113 kg/249 pounds this week but instead I'm recovering weight again and I'm closer to 116kg/255 pounds. I understand that it could be just body water but still kind of disappointing.

I feel like a need a pause and reset everything, I don't think IF really works for me (even if I did will ago without knowing it was IF) and the anxiety is making it worse.

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Tiny rant inc

Scale showed a gain of 2lbs with the net gain of one pound this whole month.

I’ve kept to my cut, measuring my food everyday. I started working out, which I know is why the scale isn’t budging as much - probably retaining water from it. I haven’t had my period yet so I’m hoping that’s why I also retained water this week.

It just - sucks. It sucks knowing that I am doing everything right and not being immediately rewarded for it like I have going from 194 down to 178 before I started working out.

The only thing I can change is being more strict over the weekends but I don’t binge over the weekend by just eating whatever - I stay within maintenance.

I know that weight loss is not linear and that there are so many other factors that can go into it. I think if 178lbs wasn’t so psychologically tied to me coz this has been the weight that I can’t seem to break past then it wouldn’t have affected me as much as it does now.

Gonna offset this that even though the scale shows no loss, my thighs don’t jiggle when it’s relax, I see my collar bones, I’m getting definition back in my biceps, I’ve lost 2 inches off my bust, I can do four 45sec-sets of burpees no push-up without feeling like I’m dying.

But yea, thank you for reading. Hopefully May, I can finally break past 178 lbs

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What are some of the best weight loss books you have ever read also advice needed feels like my body is eating itself.

I would like to know what are some of the best weight loss books out there. I got a free Scribd trial so I can pretty much play around with some reading.

In addition, It feels like my body is eating itself. Has anyone ever experienced that? I have been at a healthy weight but would like to lose more so I tracked my calories yesterday and I even kept even replaced the calories I burned so I would have eaten 1200 calories that day because I worked the bakery and that's like an automatic 10000 steps. I took a nap right after I ate and when I woke up I could barely get out of bed I felt so weak. I was starving. It literally felt like my body was eating itself and it's sort of how I imagine dying would feel like. I got up and I thought about waiting it out but I was so hungry so I went and got a milkshake which put me over my count.

It happened again later that night and I binged on the macaroni and cheese. What the hell! I have never experienced this. What should I do and has anyone else experienced this. I know what hunger feels like and this was like "Super hunger" . Does anybody know what this is and how to make it stop? Do I need to pre-select what I eat and just snack closer together? I ended up eating like 3000 calories yesterday and only when I could feel overly full did it stop.

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I know exactly how to do this but yet I just.... don't. Every. Single. Day.

I start basically every day with the intention of logging food in MyFitnessPal. I know exactly how to do this. CICO. All in the kitchen, not trying to rely on exercise. I know my TDEE. I know how much excess energy results in a pound of stored fat. I know 1-2 lbs of weight loss a week is good. I know fad diets don't work. I know I can have anything I want in moderation.

Why haven't I been successful? Why haven't I lost the 20-30 lbs I desperately want to lose? Because I start literally every day with good intentions, and at some point I throw it out the window. Donuts show up in the office (remember when we could *go* to the office?!) I eat half of one and track it. But later, I want another one, I say fuck it and eat it. Maybe I track it to keep myself honest, maybe that's my fuck it point for the day. Go out to lunch with coworkers. I tell myself I will choose a healthy option, but nope, say fuck it and get the whopper and onion rings. Maybe I make it through the workday and I am exhausted and want to order dinner. I start with good intentions and say okay, I'll order steamed broccoli and.... but somewhere between that thought and the free crab rangoons with $25 purchase, I yet again say fuck it. I definitely have issues with binging too, and sometimes I'll stop at Dollar General on the way home and get a bag of gummies, a bag of chips, a chocolate bar and a hostess snack and eat them all on the way home and hide the wrappers. Sometimes, like yesterday, I make it to 10pm and then eat 3 pb&j sandwiches, a bologna sandwich, 3 servings of pretzels with peanut butter and a cinnamon roll.

After reading that, you're probably thinking "damn this girl has gotta be a contender for My 600 Lb life" but that's part of the problem. I'm not *that* big. I wear a size 8 jean and medium everything else. So part of my rationalization is "oh, you're not THAT bad". Plenty of people are bigger than you! Which I know is absolutely awful and please don't read this and feel any certain way about your body knowing disordered thinkers like me are out here comparing myself to some sort of weird fatness lineup. Weight loss aside, i know my relationship with food is fucked, and i should want to fix that.

So yeah. I know CICO. I can fairly accurately calorie count anything. I just don't. I'm so envious of the people on this sub who just see the light and go "oh, just eat less of the calories? okie dokie!" and then go on with their bad selves and transform.

If I sound whiney and dumb, I know. I hate it. I'm not some idiot in real life either. I can accomplish things i set my mind to... but somehow not this. Has anybody been in a similar situation? Any advice? This repeating pattern of good intentions immediately followed by self destruction on a daily basis is mentally exhausting and i need to break the cycle. Maybe this is the first step, just acknowledging it.

TL;DR: I start and sabotage basically every day and wonder what is so broken in me to cause this.

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