My weight/lifestyle has made 2020 the worst year of my life. I want to change.

I have always been heavy. People tell me when I was a little girl, I’d always over eat and I was picky and stubborn with my food. I was scared to try new foods. I ate the same junk for years and years. I started 2020 at maybe 335(?) but I was impressed I maintained the same weight for a year. August 2020, I am 380+ and can hardly walk.

When quarantine hit, I laid in bed all day and ordered fast food off of door dash. When I didn’t do that, I’d eat frozen food. I didn’t give a fuck about my weight or my exercise. I fucked myself up so bad. I covered all the mirrors in my apartment so I couldn’t see myself. I let my apartment become unacceptably trashed. I couldn’t clean anything cause I didn’t have the energy to.

Now, I am moving back home because I realized I have no idea how to take care of myself (and the house I’m living in is going to be sold) Everyone is disappointed in me. But a few remain supportive that I’ll change for the better.

I’ve become so paranoid that my family absolutely hates me. I’ve started becoming suspicious of friends too. I blocked some for no reason.

My mental health has gone completely down the drain. I’ve started having panic attacks. And yes, I am seeing a therapist. I would’ve ended my life already if it wasn’t for my amazing and always supportive long distance boyfriend. He is the only thing that’s holding me together and gives me some type of hope for the future. He’s so worried about me though.

I also impulsively quit my job the other day. I worked there for 4 years and I just stopped going. I just couldn’t take all the bullshit there anymore.

Today while my father was helping me move some belongings over to his house, he pointed out how hard it was for me to walk and how I look like I’m walking on the sides of my feet. He stopped me and started crying. The “I’m so angry this is happening to you” kind of crying. He said no one would respect me if I can’t respect myself and he said how worried he is for me. He also said I’m gonna break my ankles if I keep walking like that. I’ve never seen my father cry like that.

I’m here, crying on my couch wondering how the fuck I let myself get like this. How I let my life get to this point. I have nothing going for me but the fantasy future of my partner and I being together.

Forgot to mention, since June, I’ve been in contact with the weight loss surgeons. I have an endoscopy on Friday. But I haven’t lost any weight because I’ve been too stressed about my everything else to care.

I need help. Advice? Support? Anything. How am I supposed to exercise if I can’t even walk? How do I stop binging? How do I ween myself off of fast food? I’m absolutely desperate for any advice or criticism.

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Tired of feeling invisible next to my friends

Hi! This is my first post here and ultimately going to act as an accountability post as I start this weight loss journey of mine.

I’m (25, F) sick of feeling invisible next to my beautiful friends. Obviously at no fault of their own, and they’re absolutely fantastic people, but it kills my self esteem whenever we’re out (not now since Covid, but still) and they have multiple men strike up a conversation with them, all of which start with, “You’re beautiful/gorgeous/hot/etc...”

I think it was made worse because I used to be a healthy weight for my height (5’6”, 145lbs) and used to do fine at bars as far as attention goes. But after going through a few bad breakups (relationships and friendships) over the course of 4 years, I steadily put on weight that now puts me at 208lbs. Food was definitely used as a comfort mechanism as well as being a “bored” eater.

I’m bummed with myself that I let it get to this point, but I’m so excited to work towards getting in shape and be all around healthier. And I’m so happy to have found this space to be surrounded by other people trying to change for the better as well!

SW/CW: 208lbs GW: 130lbs Pounds to go: 78lbs

Let’s do this!

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Starting to find myself in the same previous cycles, how do you completely change your mindset?!?

Hi all - so, as the title says, I'm starting to find myself in the same previous cycle a lot of us may be familiar with.

Gain weight -> diet -> lose weight -> try different things -> losses slow or we get burned out -> eating all the things -> gain weight -> repeat

I had gained about 25lbs since November of last year, quite a bit of that during COVID stay at home measures. I managed to lose the extra COVID weight, but lets be honest here, that's not all I have to lose. I still need to lose about 50-55lbs to be where I want to be. I just don't know how to break this repeated cycle that I've dealt with my entire adult life! I don't know what it is, I start losing a little bit and feeling better about myself, then for some reason I feel the need to try a different diet or re-incorporate foods that I had been eliminating (not for any reason other than weight loss). I start thinking about the different diet programs out there, which one is the right one, maybe I should try Keto because you usually lose fast on that, etc.

I lost my extra COVID weight on a program that was monitored by a clinic, so I don't have a working scale at home and besides the point it wouldn't be the same conditions as weighing at the clinic so I don't know exactly how much I've gained in the last month. But I know I have.

I don't know what I'm looking for exactly. I know there's no magic one-size-fits-all solution here. Just a little support I guess from like-minded folks, and any suggestions on how to break these bad habits are welcome.

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Game changing app - Carbon Diet Coach

I’ve been on a journey (not limited by time) to lose around 15kg and generally be the healthiest and strongest version of myself possible. After losing around 4kg the way I knew - plugging random low macros into MFP and always running over them - I downloaded a TDEE tracking spreadsheet from Reddit and tried to learn a little more about the science behind metabolism.

I came across Layne Norton on YouTube, and downloaded his app a few weeks ago. The app, and the support group, are absolute game changers for weight loss. It dials your TDEE in and offers macro adjustments, just like a real life coach would. It’s essentially the app version of a spreadsheet I downloaded off Reddit to track my TDEE - just that there are very qualified people who have engineered the app algorithm to consider my rate of weight loss and recommending changes to my macros to optimise the rate of loss I’ve chosen. It also offers a maintenance and reverse diet function.

I’m so chuffed with the app, and thought I’d share, however I wouldn’t recommend the app for anyone unable to weigh themselves daily, as that is something that allows the app to monitor changes. It’s also a diet coach and not solely a food tracker like MFP, and so it doesn’t always have things in the database.

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Support for post weight loss?

So I'm not 100% done with my weight loss but I'm really close. I've lost over 125 lbs and I have posted here before about being a bit disturbed by it. None of that has gone away and although I love being healthier and my life has improved dramatically, in order to lose the weight I had to change my entire lifestyle and often times I just don't feel like the same person at all. I don't feel like I can talk about it with my friends or family because none of them seem to understand what I'm talking about or why I'm so distressed.

Besides therapy (my insurance only covers 6 sessions and it's not really financially feasible for me) what avenues of support have those of you who have lost a substantial amount of weight found to cope? I journal a lot but I feel like I need something more. Maybe peer support. Suggestions welcome.

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I'm gaining weight on what used to be my weight loss calories. I've been eating low calories as a teenager going on 3 years now, but I've gained back 35/50 pounds lost, and it really really sucks.

Hi. After being bullied all my life (even by my own self), I decided to lose weight at the age of 14. My methods were not healthy. I, being a 214 pound 5'11 14 year old girl, started at 1500 calories. I slowly inched my way down to 700, sometimes adding cardio on top of that. I ate virtually no protein and no fat, mostly carbs (veggie burgers, 40 calorie bread, pb2, halo top, protein bars, apples). The weight melted off, and within one year, by the age of 15, I was down to 164. However, the side effects were unpleasant. I did no strength training, so even at my lowest weight, I had huuuuge love handles and a pooch. I was beating myself up because I didn't have a "bikini body." My posture worsened. I got dizzy and lightheaded when standing up. My nails were splitting. My hair was thin and greasy (I really don't know if this had anything to do with it tbh). I had no energy. I lost my period for 7 months. I was extremely sensitive to water retention/bloat (I still am). I was tired, maybe a little depressed. I was moody. I hated my body even more. I still wanted to lose another 20 pounds. And that's not even talking about the constant thoughts of food, watching people eat thousands of calories to curb my cravings. I didn't even have hunger cues anymore. Honestly, I still have most of these symptoms right now.

BTW, I started strength training after I lost the weight for one month and gained 5 pounds from that, so being the obsessive scale person that I am, I stopped.

So in the summer I was basically at my lowest energy intake because I was eating as low as 1200 a day (and I've eaten 500 lower than this before) but I was hitting 10-15k steps per day. And then I would come home and do a 20 minute HIIT workout. When I went to school, I still ate this little, but because my activity dropped, I gained weight. By January, I was 16 and had gained 15 pounds. I got my period back, which made me mad for some reason because I knew then that the weight gain was true, that my body needed to gain fat to get my period back. So I was 178, and then I realized I've been eating too little for too long. So I went on a reverse diet. I got up to 1800 calories, and it lasted 5 weeks. But of course, I gained some weight. 10 pounds. I was extremely frustrated, so I hopped back down onto a cut (1200-1400 calories). The weird thing is, I actually gained 3 pounds during my cut. So being the indecisive and impatient person that I am, I went back on another reverse diet, thinking my "metabolism wasn't healed." Did the same thing for a month, gained ANOTHER 10 pounds. And then backed out again. Also want to add I did strength training during both reverse diets. So here I am, now 35 pounds heavier, ready to cry, feeling huge. I've been eating 1000 calories for a few weeks now, and I lost 1 pound, but now I'm up again. My parents are even making comments. I ate one veggie burger (120 cals) and 2 eggs (140) for lunch one day (usually I just eat a protein bar, so this was a good day), and my dad asked me if I was on a bulk. Or, if I eat a rice cake and then half a cup of berries, he'll be like "you just ate a rice cake." And I want to scream that I've been going to bed hungry every night for the past 2 years and crying about my weight every night and eating 1000 calories, but I can't. And my Mom is on weight watchers, and all she keeps talking about is calories as well, and how this food "isn't worth it," and she keeps giving me tips on what foods are "worth the calories," and it's driving me insane.

I know this will come up: YES I weigh my food, I track accurately, yes yes yes. Trust me, I would not have gone through all of this stress if I could have just prevented the weight gain from "tracking accurately." To be honest, I'm a little obsessive about calorie counting, to say the least.

I think maybe my hormones are messed up, because I've been eating this little for so long, this would be my 3rd year, and I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of not being able to eat whatever I want like my friends, to not worry about calories or water weight or how bloated I am going to be tomorrow because of how much salt X food has in it. This whole dieting thing has seriously ruined my teenage years, and I was just please wondering if anyone had advice or had a similar issue to mine. I just want to be able lose weight, because I'm kind of overweight again, and then eat like a healthy, NORMAL teenager. Because this isn't healthy.

Thanks so much for your time.

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In a calorie deficit but eating like shit....

Hi all, been a lurker on here for a while and finally have taken the action to lose the weight - so thank you!!

How much will bad diet (but still on a cal deficit) hinder my weight loss progress? I’m 22F 5’7 300lbs and have been attending a personal trainer 3x a week, and doing CICO for 2.5 weeks now. I’m aiming on average for a 1200-1300 calorie intake, and initially felt like i wasn’t seeing progress but have heard that in the beginning of a new exercise routine you usually retain water weight for the first few weeks....?

Anyway, I have settled into my calorie intake but am still eating some shit things (example day below) - how much will this hinder my weight loss progress?

Breakfast - none

Lunch - baked wholemeal pitta ‘pizza’ with a homemade tomato sauce, mozza balls, basil

Dinner - small amount of bolognese, ‘barenaked’ noodles (15 cals per portion), boiled brocolli

Supper - boiled egg on bread with plant-based ‘butter’

Snacks - crisps, banana, protein chocolate bite things

Drinks - Coke Zero, peppermint tea, coffee with almond milk and sweeteners

Cal intake - 1104 (if anyone thinks this may be incorrect do let me know!)

Bottom line: I love carbs more than life itself and know if I cut them out I’ll revert to old habits... advice/tips/literally anything welcome💕

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