Hi. After being bullied all my life (even by my own self), I decided to lose weight at the age of 14. My methods were not healthy. I, being a 214 pound 5'11 14 year old girl, started at 1500 calories. I slowly inched my way down to 700, sometimes adding cardio on top of that. I ate virtually no protein and no fat, mostly carbs (veggie burgers, 40 calorie bread, pb2, halo top, protein bars, apples). The weight melted off, and within one year, by the age of 15, I was down to 164. However, the side effects were unpleasant. I did no strength training, so even at my lowest weight, I had huuuuge love handles and a pooch. I was beating myself up because I didn't have a "bikini body." My posture worsened. I got dizzy and lightheaded when standing up. My nails were splitting. My hair was thin and greasy (I really don't know if this had anything to do with it tbh). I had no energy. I lost my period for 7 months. I was extremely sensitive to water retention/bloat (I still am). I was tired, maybe a little depressed. I was moody. I hated my body even more. I still wanted to lose another 20 pounds. And that's not even talking about the constant thoughts of food, watching people eat thousands of calories to curb my cravings. I didn't even have hunger cues anymore. Honestly, I still have most of these symptoms right now.
BTW, I started strength training after I lost the weight for one month and gained 5 pounds from that, so being the obsessive scale person that I am, I stopped.
So in the summer I was basically at my lowest energy intake because I was eating as low as 1200 a day (and I've eaten 500 lower than this before) but I was hitting 10-15k steps per day. And then I would come home and do a 20 minute HIIT workout. When I went to school, I still ate this little, but because my activity dropped, I gained weight. By January, I was 16 and had gained 15 pounds. I got my period back, which made me mad for some reason because I knew then that the weight gain was true, that my body needed to gain fat to get my period back. So I was 178, and then I realized I've been eating too little for too long. So I went on a reverse diet. I got up to 1800 calories, and it lasted 5 weeks. But of course, I gained some weight. 10 pounds. I was extremely frustrated, so I hopped back down onto a cut (1200-1400 calories). The weird thing is, I actually gained 3 pounds during my cut. So being the indecisive and impatient person that I am, I went back on another reverse diet, thinking my "metabolism wasn't healed." Did the same thing for a month, gained ANOTHER 10 pounds. And then backed out again. Also want to add I did strength training during both reverse diets. So here I am, now 35 pounds heavier, ready to cry, feeling huge. I've been eating 1000 calories for a few weeks now, and I lost 1 pound, but now I'm up again. My parents are even making comments. I ate one veggie burger (120 cals) and 2 eggs (140) for lunch one day (usually I just eat a protein bar, so this was a good day), and my dad asked me if I was on a bulk. Or, if I eat a rice cake and then half a cup of berries, he'll be like "you just ate a rice cake." And I want to scream that I've been going to bed hungry every night for the past 2 years and crying about my weight every night and eating 1000 calories, but I can't. And my Mom is on weight watchers, and all she keeps talking about is calories as well, and how this food "isn't worth it," and she keeps giving me tips on what foods are "worth the calories," and it's driving me insane.
I know this will come up: YES I weigh my food, I track accurately, yes yes yes. Trust me, I would not have gone through all of this stress if I could have just prevented the weight gain from "tracking accurately." To be honest, I'm a little obsessive about calorie counting, to say the least.
I think maybe my hormones are messed up, because I've been eating this little for so long, this would be my 3rd year, and I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of not being able to eat whatever I want like my friends, to not worry about calories or water weight or how bloated I am going to be tomorrow because of how much salt X food has in it. This whole dieting thing has seriously ruined my teenage years, and I was just please wondering if anyone had advice or had a similar issue to mine. I just want to be able lose weight, because I'm kind of overweight again, and then eat like a healthy, NORMAL teenager. Because this isn't healthy.
Thanks so much for your time.
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