There's no need to reply, I just really needed to post it somewhere, it's slow but I've started making progress.
I was over 235, not sure how much, that's as back in January, I was scared to check but I know I had gained some after that weigh in. Morbid obesity, diabetes, and food addiction have hit most of the women on my mum's side and I was getting scared. I'm tall so it wasn't easy to tell how bad I'd gotten but I'm still firmly obese.
I kept failing at fixing my habits, I needed abdominal surgery for cysts and I've been in agony ever since. I'm in pain, doc wrote me off as needing to exercise and to try birth control pills, I've realized just how bad my mental health is and I decided to take some small steps in a healthier direction
Last three months or so, I cut out pop. I started drinking that sugarless soda water because the fizz always ends up bringing me back if the sugar doesn't and I was drinking SO MUCH pop. Now if I drink juice or pop it's mixed into water (either 1 to 1 mix or mostly water with a little juice) so I can taste and enjoy it but not over indulge. I started swapping snacks, hot pepperettes instead of chips (I eat way less because the heat is satisfying and stops my cravings) I started eating olives (no clue why, I always hated them) again, just a few. It's sodium rich foods but I'm doing my best to be careful. I'm buying more veg and trying new things. It's hard because of the stupid BC pills causing some debilitating depression on a more regular basis but dammit I've been making progress at it for me AND my partner.
We weighed ourselves last week. He'd been curbing his snacking and he's trying to cut down on pop too. He lost 10 pounds, I'm down 25. I almost cried. He's been trying so hard and it's all a big victory even though we have a ways to go. It never helped that he was constantly walking and working he just couldn't drop weight so to suddenly see progress is so wonderful! A nasty voice in my head tries to tear me down, saying it's all due to the BC pills and it'll come back soon, but I'm doing my best to drown out that voice. My face and belly aren't so swollen and puffy now, it's something.
I'm 5'11" I'm 210 pounds and I'm going to keep inching back to where I used to be. I'm going to do my best to make good habits and dammit I'm going to give myself credit. I hurt every day and everything feels like a struggle right now but I'm making good choices and it's had some effect. I appreciate this sub. I lurk and upvote because I have some serious issues discussing weight loss/gain/food talk in general and I really need to address that with a professional, but it helps.
Thanks to everyone here, it really helps
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