First time posting anything like this anywhere but I've been so inspired by the loseit community that i guess i wanted to throw my own hat into the ring and share the beginning of my journey :)
i, like everyone else in the world during these crazy times, have been having a rough time these past few months. I was already struggling with my binge eating before corona really kicked in due to some depressive episodes but then shit really hit the fan when my best friend cut me out of her life. It was isolation on isolation and i did not handle it well. my binge eating got worse and worse and i couldn't find it in myself to care. For some reason i just didn't see myself having a future, i couldn't make goals or find it in me to care about my rapid weight gain and my academic failures because... well... it all seemed so obsolete. i mean, and i'm sure most can relate, i saw the weight gain and i knew i didn't like it and i knew i needed to stop and put it in reverse but i had 0 motivation to do so.
Today, and the last few days, i've been feeling so much better. i'm finally excited about things again. i care again. I cleaned up all aspects of my life: uni, relationships, work, bureaucratic things (ugh). the one thing left is my weight, and i finally feel ready to do something about it. I stepped on the scale, the thing i've been terrified about for months now, just a few hours ago and i wasn't exactly shocked by what i saw. The display lit up and i saw 174.4 lbs, which for a 5 foot tall girl isn't exactly the most ideal number. Also... i think it's my highest recorded weight
i feel mentally healthy and i would like my body to reflect that, so today i am starting my weight loss journey, and you know what's cool, i'm super motivated and just excited. usually, before when i've dieted, it's come from a place of hate, where i cry and glare at myself in the mirror, but now i just look at the number on the scale with a sort of researcher's gaze (if that makes sense). i'm sort of both the test subject and the scientist.
my plan is to eat around 1200 calories a day and work out, just a very basic in-out-schema. it's worked for me before and keeps me unrestricted enough that i don't just snap and binge out of spite. i suppose my goal weight is in the 130s, i like how it looked before, but honestly more or less i'm fine with either, i would just like to look healthy again.
thank you to whomever read this sort of stream of consciousness lil story of mine. i hope y'all have a wonderful day :)
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/3lsSoF7
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