Hi LoseIt, I hope you're all doing well! I've been feeling a little down about my weight loss lately, so I thought maybe it was about time I look back and share some of the progress I've made. Maybe it'll give me a little motivation to keep pushing forward (and maybe it'll help one of you, that would be very cool too). Warning: long post ahead. :)
Before I even say anything, here are some basic stats about myself: My name is Christine, I'm 22F, 5'1", and currently weighing in somewhere around the 137 pound mark. And here are my (first ever!) progress pics: Link here.
I started my weight loss journey in the beginning of the year in 2019 - I had just lost 10 pounds (miraculously, with zero effort) after I caught a chest infection and lost my appetite for a week. This was the first time I had ever lost weight, effort or none. I've been chubby since I was a kid, but as I got into high school, and then college, I really put a lot of weight on. I ate snacks recklessly, huge meals, and had no idea how much of an effect it was taking on my body. I thought I was just *destined* to be fat forever, and I made no connection between my eating behaviors and my weight.
So, after I lost those first 10 pounds, I thought maybe it could be possible to lose weight. And that kick-started my weight loss journey. Over the last 20-ish months (almost 2 years now!), I've counted my calories somewhat haphazardly, and held myself to one standard: try to exercise three times a week. I've stuck to my exercise goal fairly well, only skipping workouts during really busy times in my life (finals week, Christmas week, etc.). No foods are off-limits for me, although by the nature of calorie counting, I do avoid quite a few snacks that I used to eat all the time. I find I don't really miss it, though, I do still snack all the time, and frequently on junk food, just not, you know, an entire bag of Munchies in one sitting. So, like most of us on this subreddit, I count calories and I exercise regularly.
It still seems so crazy to me - the highest weight I ever saw on the scale was 204, but I'm positive that I weighed more than that at my highest weight - I was afraid to weigh myself but found myself sizing up clothes frequently. I would guess I could've weighed as much as 220, which is substantial for my height. Now, I weigh 137 pounds and I'm frustrated every day that the weight isn't continuing to drop regularly like it used to. I still feel so fat sometimes, and even though my family jokingly nicknamed me "Skinny," I know I'm not even in the healthy BMI range for my height.
Still, the difference between how I look and feel now, and how I used to look and feel, is night and day. Though I still struggle with self-loathing and feeling ashamed and embarrassed about the way I look, it's nothing compared to how I used to feel. I used to wish I could disappear the moment I was around other people, I felt embarrassed just for existing. My love life was completely nonexistent, because I could barely even look in the mirror, let alone think about letting someone else perceive me romantically. Well - things have changed dramatically for me now! Last week, I just went on my first ever date! (She was really nice, although I don't think I will see her again - and that's okay). This year, I took up rollerblading, and I just ordered a skateboard online, I figured I'll give that a shot too.
Sometimes, I don't even feel like myself anymore. It seems like every day, I become a little bit more of a person, just by allowing myself to make choices and do the things that make me happy. Maybe it's confidence, although I don't consider myself to be a very confident person, but lately I've felt better and better about trying new things, and letting my personality come out. I wish I had known this when I was growing up fat - you can develop your own personality and sense of self by honoring your inner "child" and letting yourself try things just for fun, even if you think you'll fail, or it won't be a productive hobby. And it's *always* worth it to try! Buying rollerblades this year was one of the best things I could've done for myself. I can't even feel embarrassed when I'm out skating, because it just feels so freeing and fun and joyful. Me from three years ago knew nothing about freedom or fun or joy. I can't imagine ever going back to how I used to be, not when I know now how much better life can be. I'm frustrated that I'm not losing weight faster, but I could still be happy if I stayed this weight for the rest of my life.
This is the main reason why I'm making this post - I know I'm not the only one who's felt this kind of positivity from weight loss, so please share some details in the comments! I'd love to know if you've picked up new hobbies, reinvigorated a childhood dream, or tried something new. I could use the extra motivation to stay the course and try to resist my terrible midnight snacking habits. :) And of course, if you want more details about my weight loss journey, I'd be happy to share - just ask!
If you've read to the end of this long-ass post, kudos to you! And many thanks to all the other posters both here and on progresspics; these subreddits give me alllllll the motivation! :D
