Embrace the Suck

This post is not for the people who generally feel awesome while they're trying to lose weight. It's not for the people that feel great all the time or even most of the time. It's not for the people that enjoy this process.

This post is for the people who are not doing as much as they know they could or worse, haven't gotten started yet with their weight loss journey. Maybe because they know it will require some things that a lot of us don't really care for up front like learning new habits and not being able to eat as much or the same things as we used to like to eat. Taking time out of your day to cook and plan or workout, perhaps.

I'm here to remind you of what you already know. This process generally speaking, isn't going to be sunshine and rainbows. You won't have as much free time. You're gonna screw up. You're gonna have to say no to yourself, and others. The scale sometimes won't cooperate no matter how awesome you did. You'll sometimes be tired. You'll sometimes be hungry. You'll sometimes be grumpy.

You should do it anyway. Embrace the suck and do it anyway.

I am a 5'6" female that has been all up and down this road, up to 240 and down to 140 and back up to 210. I knew as I saw the weight creeping back what I had to do. I had done it before, after all. CICO and calories. But man I make excuses to myself for YEARS not to do it.

"I'm gonna be hungry. I didn't like that." "Work is so busy. I don't have the mental bandwidth right now." "Maybe this other way/diet will work and not be as awful." (Spoiler, it didn't.)

But one day I faced facts and sat myself down and said "Hey, you know what, all that shit you hated about losing the first time, yup. That's all true and you hated all that and that all sucked. So the fuck what? You gonna woman up or continue to make shitty excuses?"

And allow me to tell you that that has not only gotten me started but has given me ironclad motivation and resolve that I haven't had in a very long time.

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Will I ever be satisfied with my body

Hey, I've been on a weight loss journey for over a year now, going from 120kgs to 80kgs and I still have a long way to go, but I am pretty proud that I was even able to keep up with it for this long, considering I've been struggling with my weight my whole life and I've been Obese (I/II) for half of it.
In theory I look better than I used to, everyone always compliments me about it (granted, just the people who knew me before because of the big change) but all I hear when they say that is "Man you were ugly before! Good job on being less ugly" and I even feel embarrassed and silly for the few times I looked in the mirror and thought I looked nice. Furthermore, although when dressed things aren't too bad, my skin and overall body are terrible, partly because of how heavy I used to be (stretch marks everywhere, cellulite, very poor skin texture - I look like a blob of cottage cheese) and partly because of the weight loss, ironically: flabby, saggy, loose skin everywhere. It's giving me a very hard time feeling more conscious and while before the weight loss I attributed everything to the fat, it's kinda driving me crazy that this time part of the culprit is the fat loss and I don't see a way to fix it. It's very frustrating and makes me feel kinda hopeless, just from the aesthetic POV (I'm not giving up on losing more weight, as a health goal). I know at a certain point I should just accept myself but it takes me back to when I thought there were too many things wrong about me that it wasn't even worth it to start working on them.
Sorry for the rant, share your thoughts if you want :)

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Weight loss > 30kg

I started at 117kg and I am now down to 85kg. I lose on average 1.2kg per week or 5kg per month. In one month, I'll be around 80kg and if not, then it's because of muscles.

Food

• no alcohol, never.
• mainly vegetables and less fruits
• some meat and a lot of eggs
• some milk and little carbs
• avoid eating everything with a high calorie per gram ratio. It's not forbidden, but when I eat it then not much of it.

• drinking 2, 3 or more liters a day of water, coffein free coffee or tee

• I had three food orgies in that time which you can see immediately on the scale but you can't see it on the long time scale - in the end it doesn't even matter.

Training

Most of the time I did not do anything special but

• I started contributing to openstreetmap and walked around my town and added info to the map! Nothing better to keep you moving than that. I'm not going for a walk to lose weight, I'm going for a walk to improve the map. I'm not forced to go, I just go whenever I want to. It gets addictive over time which helps a lot :)
• I started rucking. Rucking is walking or running with a rucksack. At the beginning with 5kg, and now mostly with 15kg. I even combine mapping and rucking.
• I started bicycling. Not fast or with the intention of losing weight (ok, maybe a little) but by making tours and having fun. I started with very short routes of 5km, then 20km, 60km, and now over 100km. I basically look on the map with brouter and select a circuit somewhere. It takes some time but it's fun, you see a lot, you do a lot. No stress. Just having a good time. No rush.

Problems

It's going to be very difficult to increase my calorie intake per day. I already started eating more over the last weeks but I don't really see a flattening curve. I'll see it over the long run so I'm not that concerned about it. I need to increase my calorie intake by (I guess) 1000 calories and that's going to be really difficult since I never fastened during that time and I'm always full at the end of a meal. I just eat (too) healthy. I need to start eating some "unhealthy" stuff! I hope it won't be too difficult to keep my weight and not to lose any further or gain weight again. My fear is that I will go up and down by eating too much or too little to compensate for the variance each day. Currently, I eat two meals a day and I think, I'll add a breakfast with 500 calories which will make it easy to reach my goal of 1000. We'll see when I get there!

Apps

• openscale connects easily with a bluetooth scale.
• waistline is great for looking up food information, you only need it in the beginning.
• opentracks is awesome for tracking a routine
• osmand is the best map out there
• streetcomplete and every door to contribute to osm
• paseo tracks your step count. Or a smartwatch (mi band is enough) with gadgetbridge
• opencamera to make progress pics
• tasks.org to keep track of todos and get reminded for the daily workout (it's nice to click completed afterwards)
• jefit to have a look into workouts

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Skin rashes during weight loss

I started a new job as a UPS driver a few months ago

Since i started my new job, I’ve lost 30 pounds last 2 months from 210 down to 180

Now i got this itchy rashes all over my armpits and groin, something I’ve never experienced before.

I’ve been applying skin lotions daily after shower but it doesn’t seem to get better..

Now, I’m wondering if this is related to the weight loss or something else like heat or infection.

Has anyone experienced this before during weight loss? Rashes are only concentrated on my armpit and groin, nowhere else.

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I'm scared my weight loss will stall now that I've sprained my foot exercising

Due to a nasty combination of serious illness in the family, surgery(non-weight or exercise related), Covid lockdown, work-related stress/comfort eating over the past few years, I ballooned from my old weight of 119 pounds to 170 pounds. I am a short, middle-aged female (5"1') so that put me squarely in the obese range.

I had a health scare a few months ago so I started cutting calories. I lost a couple of pounds but it was not enough so I cut the calories further and ramped up my exercising.It's tough because my TDEE is really low due to being female, middle-aged and short. I gave up all fast food and unhealthy snacks. I no longer eat french fries, ice cream or keep potato chips/chocolate in the house. I had terrible cravings for fatty fried foods like potato chips/fries at first but they faded away. However, I do experience the desire if I smell them while in a mall or walking past my neighbors' so I guess I have to always be on guard for the rest of my life. It's tiring. I eat mostly home-cooked unprocessed food and I only keep dry roasted nuts in the house as snacks. They are not tasty so I do not binge on them.

I just weighed myself yesterday. I am now 157 pounds. I am still 38 pounds away from my healthy/goal/old weight. It is so slow. My tummy has flattened some but I still have a tummy pooch that keeps me from fitting into my old clothes. It's so discouraging. I exercise at least 30 mins-1 hour everyday. I sprained my right foot while exercising and may have to see the doctor.

I used to do ballet back when I was normal weight. Due to the weight gain, exercises I used to do easily are no longer possible because the excess weight is now placing enormous stresses on my feet/joints. I hurt myself because I underestimated the impact of my current weight. I cannot do any high impact stuff like jumping any more. I feel so heavy now it seems impossible to me how I used to do petit and grand allegro (ballet jumps). I simply can't get off the ground.

I just want to be able to fit into my old ballet leotards and pretty ballet skirts again but I was younger and thinner then. It seems so impossible. I don't want to buy new leotards or step into a dancewear shop in my current state because I know how the shop assistant will treat me. Like I don't belong there because I am fat and must be a dance mom instead. "So what size does your daughter wear?" "What, the ballet slippers are for YOU?!" I don't know if I will ever take a ballet class again given my weight and proneness to foot injuries. The pretty off-the-rack leotards never come in my size. I've looked online (in the hope of avoiding snooty, nosy sales assistants) but the plus-size leos just look like really sad large black sacks for walruses. The local ballet community is pretty close-knit, everyone knows everyone and I just know the salesperson will ask me who my teacher is and what studio I belong to in the hope of finding out who could possibly be teaching someone my size.

Please give me some hope that I can get back to a normal weight again and have people treat me nicely instead of with disdain. That I can do all the things I used to be able to do. I just saw a video of a professional ballet dancer dancing on youtube. I was never that good obviously but I remember the feeling of soaring through the air doing a grand jeté. I just cannot do it anymore, I'm trapped in my current earthbound body.

Grand Allegro aka Large Ballet Jumps

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Take progress pics!

I really wish I had. As of today I've lost 101 lbs, and there really aren't any pictures of the journey. There are VERY few before pictures, because I avoided cameras like the plague, and there aren't even very many recent pictures, because I'm a mom and I'm always the one taking the pictures (side note - partners, take pictures of your significant other/the mother of your children, otherwise there won't be any).

Anyway, here is one of the only photos I could find of myself before I started losing weight, and one from my 13th wedding anniversary dinner look that I asked my husband to take last week. I wish the loose arm skin didn't exist, but I'll take it. The face might be the most shocking difference to me.

If I was going to start my weight loss journey all over again, I'd take monthly photos.

Before, at ~230-235 lbs

After, at ~132 lbs

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Diagnosed with a hernia & don't want to stop my weight loss?

Found out I have an umbilical hernia and need to know what exercises l can do?

l am going from running 5 miles and lifting every other day to whatever l can safely do? Any suggestions? l don't want to give up my weight loss and muscle gains so far. Anyone else have a setback like this? What did you do?

I have lost about 60lbs over the course of the last year and feel this may break the habits I finally made routine. Scary to think all this work might be reversed.

Thanks in advance!

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