Due to a nasty combination of serious illness in the family, surgery(non-weight or exercise related), Covid lockdown, work-related stress/comfort eating over the past few years, I ballooned from my old weight of 119 pounds to 170 pounds. I am a short, middle-aged female (5"1') so that put me squarely in the obese range.
I had a health scare a few months ago so I started cutting calories. I lost a couple of pounds but it was not enough so I cut the calories further and ramped up my exercising.It's tough because my TDEE is really low due to being female, middle-aged and short. I gave up all fast food and unhealthy snacks. I no longer eat french fries, ice cream or keep potato chips/chocolate in the house. I had terrible cravings for fatty fried foods like potato chips/fries at first but they faded away. However, I do experience the desire if I smell them while in a mall or walking past my neighbors' so I guess I have to always be on guard for the rest of my life. It's tiring. I eat mostly home-cooked unprocessed food and I only keep dry roasted nuts in the house as snacks. They are not tasty so I do not binge on them.
I just weighed myself yesterday. I am now 157 pounds. I am still 38 pounds away from my healthy/goal/old weight. It is so slow. My tummy has flattened some but I still have a tummy pooch that keeps me from fitting into my old clothes. It's so discouraging. I exercise at least 30 mins-1 hour everyday. I sprained my right foot while exercising and may have to see the doctor.
I used to do ballet back when I was normal weight. Due to the weight gain, exercises I used to do easily are no longer possible because the excess weight is now placing enormous stresses on my feet/joints. I hurt myself because I underestimated the impact of my current weight. I cannot do any high impact stuff like jumping any more. I feel so heavy now it seems impossible to me how I used to do petit and grand allegro (ballet jumps). I simply can't get off the ground.
I just want to be able to fit into my old ballet leotards and pretty ballet skirts again but I was younger and thinner then. It seems so impossible. I don't want to buy new leotards or step into a dancewear shop in my current state because I know how the shop assistant will treat me. Like I don't belong there because I am fat and must be a dance mom instead. "So what size does your daughter wear?" "What, the ballet slippers are for YOU?!" I don't know if I will ever take a ballet class again given my weight and proneness to foot injuries. The pretty off-the-rack leotards never come in my size. I've looked online (in the hope of avoiding snooty, nosy sales assistants) but the plus-size leos just look like really sad large black sacks for walruses. The local ballet community is pretty close-knit, everyone knows everyone and I just know the salesperson will ask me who my teacher is and what studio I belong to in the hope of finding out who could possibly be teaching someone my size.
Please give me some hope that I can get back to a normal weight again and have people treat me nicely instead of with disdain. That I can do all the things I used to be able to do. I just saw a video of a professional ballet dancer dancing on youtube. I was never that good obviously but I remember the feeling of soaring through the air doing a grand jeté. I just cannot do it anymore, I'm trapped in my current earthbound body.
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