Wednesday, September 21, 2022

Struggling to lose it

I (29F and 5'4") gained ~30 pounds (160lbs to 190lbs) this year because my boyfriend is a pretty heavy drinker and overeater and I ended up falling into that with him and ballooned up in only a few months.

I am absolutely miserable.

I have a sedentary office job, but I do try to stand at work, walk around periodically, etc.

I do have a gym membership and I mainly only use it for cardio because everyone says that cardio does better for fat loss. We have two dogs that we also walk, though not as frequently as I'd like. I get about 3 miles of steps a day without doing anything extra.

I am now constantly in a caloric deficit, but I am reading things that are saying that that may be part of my problem? I eat when I am hungry, but my body is so used to eating low amounts because I have done it for so long that it's difficult for me to force myself to eat more.

I tried Noom for a couple of weeks because I thought they would be helpful, but honestly, the foods I thought would be okay, like those Costco breakfast egg sandwiches that substitute egg for the muffin, ended up always being "bad," and that was somewhat discouraging and continued my brain thought that I am always eating poorly. It seems the foods I enjoy a lot are ones I can't really have. From what I gathered with Noom, my diet needs to subsist of mainly just vegetables and fruits or anything that retains water well. Anything past that is "bad."

The Noom trainer I had also brought up to me that I am not taking in enough calories as they had me set to 1500-ish a dahy, but it's hard to be constantly eating when I don't really feel hungry.

In the past I also had an ex that put me into a "diet" of only fruit water (blending one cup of fruit into three cups of water) for five days each day, then one meal of two cups of vegetables for lunch and a vegan dinner on day six, then it was back to another five days of fruit water and that did not give me any weight loss either. I did this for a month.

I am not sure where I am going wrong. I drink at least 120oz of water a day, have cut back drastically on drinking alcohol (going from trying to get tipsy every day to only having a few drinks on weekends/social occasions), and we stopped going out to eat so much, especially since he got a smoker that we cook a lot of food on. If we do go out, we pick healthier options like sushi or smaller portioned options.

I try to eat something small for breakfast, like the past two weeks it has been a toasted whole wheat english muffin with a tablespoon-ish of butter with about three cups of coffee and an oatmilk creamer. Lunch this week has been a homemade cabbage soup (cabbage, tomato, onion, celery, and four peppers in a chicken broth/water mix) to try and lose weight with that. I was starving after only eating that for lunch yesterday, though, so I had shirataki noodles in a gochujang/hoisin sauce with three eggs for dinner as well as two slices of a cheese quesadilla my boyfriend made for himself.

I probably get at least 7-8 hours of sleep that seems good as I have vivid dreams nightly, but I will say I'm always exhausted when I wake up and constantly struggle with actually being able to get out of bed. I've always been that way, though and just attested my constant exhaustion to being a normal human thing.

I am now thinking, because of all of this, that it may be a thyroid issue? Looking at what's out there, it seems like I am doing everything (mostly) right, but there aren't any results.

I would be more active as well, but at the beginning of the year, when my boyfriend I were moving boxes to our new house (this is the first time I really noticed it), I began experiencing crazy pain in my lower back. To the point I'd have to sit down/take weight off of my back. I still get this when I am doing standing things such as vacuuming, replanting my plants, washing the dishes, cooking dinner, etc., but I am pretty positive it's from gaining weight so quickly and being more sedentary. I believe it's just pain from not using those muscles much anymore because I have been pushing myself to do more of those activities more often, then icing my back, and I have noticed I can do those things for longer periods of time.

Any advice or maybe someone else has a better understanding of what I'm doing wrong?

At this point I am desperate enough to pay the hefty personal trainer fees at the gym to see if someone pushing my bodily limits physically is what I need as I do not have the skill set/confidence to do it myself.

P.S. I don't have health insurance at the moment as I can't really afford it, so going to a doctor is somewhat more difficult for me to do, but I certainly can try if that's the route y'all believe I need to go.

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