Howdy,
So this isn't actually day 1, it's more like day 18, but it's day 1 on r/loseit. Mostly just putting this here to get this off my chest. Unfortunately, I've hopped on the weight loss train a few times in my life and have always gained it back, something I plan not to do this time.
The first time I started getting overweight was all the way back in middle school, grandma encouraged boredom eating and overeating with the old "you're a growing boy" crap. I didn't learn about how my diet impacted my weight, I just ate like my folks, grandparents, siblings and cousins did. I was of the belief that exercise is how you took care of the problem, in my teen years, this worked to a certain extent, because I was extremely active, playing organized competitive sports at a relatively high level. By my later teens I was in reasonably good shape, still with some fat on me from my awful eating habits, but on the high end of the healthy BMI range still.
Since I still played a sport in college for a couple of years, I was still really active during the season and pre-season, but a pattern was developing, each off-season I would wrap myself in fat again, because I was consuming the same amount of calories and remaining mostly sedentary. When I stopped playing altogether, I gained weight fast, and finally recognized that I needed to track what I eat and remain at least moderately active. I worked my tail off, ate in a caloric deficit, used myfitnesspal daily, and by the time I graduated, I got myself down to the healthy BMI range for a 6' 1" male.
Upon returning home I had a plan to add some muscle and was lifting regularly, and swimming laps on non-lifting days. I thought I was in great shape, until I visited extended family for the first time at a healthy weight. Grandma berated me for "looking like a stick" and would guilt trip me into having second servings of whatever she had cooked for dinner. Aunts and uncles would ask me if I was eating, and try to talk me into eating garbage. Discouraged with the negative response, I slowly lost motivation to keep up with my dietary choices and workouts. I entered the workforce, moved away from home and rationalized that I could estimate calories accurately enough.
That work environment got stressful, I stopped weighing myself, and while I'd make a half-assed attempt at estimating calories, I largely stopped caring altogether. Eventually I left that job, and moved home to get back on my feet. I know this already long, so I'll spare all the details, but I went the route of self-employment, and I'm on the road a lot.
Anyways, fast forward 5 years, and here I am. I've made a few half-assed efforts at making myself healthier, but have been terrified of the scale, knowing in the back of my head that it's probably worse than I think it is, and knowing I've made all of the wrong dietary choices over this time. I started having this pains in the middle of the night, which I now know are gallbladder attacks. After an ER visit earlier this month, I decided it's time to get back to taking care of myself, so I redownloaded myfitnesspal, started following the ER doctor's advice on how to prevent more gallbladder attacks. A week later I had a scheduled dr. appointment and it was confirmed that the gallbladder needs to be removed. I dreaded stepping on the scale at the doctor's office, and was disheartened to see how bad things had gotten....259, which likely means I was in the 260s the week before, heavier than I've ever been. 11 days later I stepped on the scale at home to discover an encouraging result...254. So five pounds since the doctor's appointment, still with a long way to go and a surgery upcoming. The reality of how this impacts my health has finally smacked me in the face, instead of this being a matter of vanity like it has been in the past, and I'm hell bent on shedding this extra weight, and doing it the right way, and maintaining it this time.
2lb/week goal hasn't been terrible so far, in fact, my appetite is pretty under control right now, it's actually been a struggle to eat enough now that I'm just making better choices and getting more fiber into my diet, and eating less processed food. I may come back and update this, and share progress, but this post is mainly just because I needed to get this off my chest somewhere. Thanks to all the moderators and people who upkeep this community, I know it's not always an easy or pleasant task to maintain an online forum/community.
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/u/Asspinchers
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