Reality check..

TL;DR I've been lying to myself about how fat and out of shape I actually am. My new doctor called me out on it and I'm not really sure where to go from here..

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So today I got a bit of a reality check from my new GP in the form of the label "morbidly obese"

I've been on a weight loss journey for some time now.. I started losing weight about 4 years ago, started @ 275# and made my way all the way down to 190# in about a year and a half (for reference I'm a small dude, only 5'3"). Once I hit onederland, its like this switch flipped in my brain and all the hard work and habits I had built were gone and I gained back about 40# in 6 months or so. I've now been bouncing between 225 and 235 for a year and have repeatedly tried to get back on the wagon but so far said wagon seems to have eluded me.

I'm not sure why this has hit me so hard.. I mean my one good talent is self-deprecating humor usually in the form of self directed fat jokes but hearing it outloud has shook me..

For years I've been trying to convince myself that I just carry a lot of muscle and that despite being big I'm really not as unhealthy and fat as I apparently am. I do struggle with BMI standards (for my height/weight it says I should be 115# - 135# and even my Dr thinks that would be too low for me - he says aim for 145-155) and have spent a long time trying to get those numbers and standards out of my head for my own mental health, but I guess in the mean time have gone too far the other way and convinced myself that I probably only have 50 maybe 60 lbs to lose instead of the 80-90 that my doctor would like to see me lose..

Anyways.. I'm honestly not sure why I'm posting here.. I feel a little lost at the moment to be honest. Like all of a sudden the goal I thought was barely attainable before is only that much further away and that much more overwhelming.. I know what to do, I've done it before. I'm really quite knowledgeable about nutrition and macros and the like but no amount of knowledge will MAKE me do it and that's where I only end up losing the battle...

I'm just not sure what to do with this new revelation.. I feel like all the work I've done and the little weight I've actually managed to keep off has all been for not.. Like it just doesn't matter that I've lost and kept off some weight because I've got so much further to go and right now I just keep spinning my wheels..

My friends keep asking how they can help, what I need from them to make this happen (I've got some pretty incredible people in my corner) but I have no clue.. I don't know what will help, or what will get me moving forward again.

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weight. loss. is. not. linear. what 5 years of losing looks like.

Hi everyone,
Here is agraph of my weight loss from 2015 through 2019.
HW 165 CW 125
I don't have that much weight lost, relatively. I'm a lifelong, chronic yo-yoer, and I just wanted to show anyone who's interested what it looks like to fight for five years to lose 30 pounds.
It's not easy when you don't know how to eat normally. It's honestly a huge and ongoing battle. I still don't have all the good habits you're supposed to. Maybe one day. I know I like a lot more vegetables and fruits than I used to and I know I can't eat a full box of Oreos in one sitting multiple times a week. But I'm SURE that I could eat a full box of Oreos in one sitting without feeling very sick. I still want to sometimes.
I still eat a lot of shit and don't exercise regularly. But I eat a lot more nutritional shit than I used to and I find myself craving physical activity in a way I used to never, ever feel. But it didn't come naturally and I still have to fight for it.
To my fellow yo-yoers who know what this is like: the battle is not impossible, and it is WORTH IT. And the permanent changes do come. But it's fucking slow.
Bottom line, this is still all about consistency. Mine has just had wild swings in the middle. But no matter how you're getting there and staying there... it is about having a consistent trend toward improvement. Over time.

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NSV: Put on an XL shirt for first time in 30 years

After 30 long years this morning I put on an XL tee shirt and it actually fit. Now it wasn't flapping in the breeze or anything but I wasn't stuffed inside. I wanted to cry I have been waiting for a long time.

I've done diet after diet and kept failing for one reason or another. Some worked very well and I sabbatoged each of them. I thought once I got to a certain size I could include foods from my past. If I had taught myself moderation it may have worked. I didn't know moderation so I'd gain everything back plus pad an extra amount. If you had told me 4 months ago I'd be putting on a shirt in this size I'd tell you, you're crazy. I was in a 3X at that point and in 56 jeans. Now my 46s are getting loose. I still have a long way to go and one day at a time. I will get there one meal at a time.

The best thing I can say is find a diet that works for you. There are 1,000's of various diets. I'm on a variation of the Keto diet, except this one has high protein and low fat. I wish each and everyone the best of luck with your weight loss journey. Keep at it, it's so worth it.

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Thoughts from 115 Down

Progress Pics: https://imgur.com/gallery/h6G1RzX

Hey Lose It! I posted here about a year ago and have made a fair amount of progress since then.

The following is something I posted to my personal Facebook earlier today, the first time I’d really talked on any non-Reddit social media about my weight loss. I haven’t edited it, but I wanted to share with this community as well:

“Over the course of the last eighteen months, I've lost 115 lbs.

I have a lot of thoughts about weight loss and body image and gym culture. I had a lot of stories to tell about my own experiences. So, the other day, I came here to Facebook to make a post about just that. I ended up with something that was far too long and much too personal than anything I'd ever like to share on Facebook.

Here’s what I’ve landed on: I've changed a lot over the last eighteen months. I'm down almost three shirt sizes. I lost 11 inches off of my waist. Everything about me on the outside looks a lot different than it did last March. A lot changed on the inside too, and some of it, to those of you who see me on a regular basis, has been just as obvious. I'm more confident than ever. I feel much more in control of my emotions than I used to be. Without a doubt, my mental health improved right alongside my physical health.

Now, it's hard to know how much of that is the weight loss and how much of that is the incredibly transformative time that is college. I've spent the last few years surrounding myself with a support system that loves me as much as I do them. Losing 115 lbs changes you a lot, but so does living from age of 19 to 21. I didn't have the luxury of experiencing those separately, so, it's a classic chicken or the egg problem.

Losing the weight doesn't solve all the problems. I heard that a lot as I started slimming down, and it seems obvious. But it's a hard conclusion to come to on your own. To admit to yourself that your fat isn't the root of all evil is hard. The truth is that there's still plenty of days where I wake up with as much disdain as for my body as I did 18 months and 115 lbs ago. But there's a lot less of them.

I don't make this post to brag, though I am incredibly proud of myself. I don't make this post to be an inspiration, though I've had friends and family members tell me I am. I definitely don't make it to offer my workout tips or to tell you about some diet that worked for me.

If there's any message I have it's this: body image is an everchanging thing. Getting and staying healthy is a constant process. Happiness is multifaceted, and life is in flux. I've learned how to workout. I've learned how to count my calories. I'm not done doing either of those, and I'm not done losing weight.

But now I'm learning to love myself. And I think I always will be.”

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Lost my first 10kg in 50 days (technically more but missed the gym when I would have hit it) SW: 113.9 kg, CW:103.3 kg, GW: 90kg

Just really excited that this whole getting fit thing is working and my friends in family dint seem that interested.

I finally decided to get fit because years ago even doe I was over weight I always thought of myself as fit no matter how fast the weight was building, I told myself that I should never get tired walking upstairs to my bedroom.

Well a short while ago I moved to a new place and my room is on the third floor. I started moving the bar saying that this was different and I was still fine. Then i watched an episode of the Simpsons and found out i was the same weight as homer.

I began counting calories at first. Then I joined the gym which I love even doe all I do is walk on the treadmill.

About 25 days in I swapped to the keto diet. Which is really hard to do at the same time I'm cutting meat from my diet. But my weight loss speed up so no complaints.

Overall I'm delighted and hope I have the commitment to make it to my goal. Your success stories have definitely helped.

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Diet Culture

Hey team,

I just wanted to give a shout out to everyone in countries where the diet culture is so ingrained in society. I moved to Canada last week and I've immediately noticed that there is a significant difference in attitude towards all things weight loss. This week, I've met people who work out for 3 hours every day of the week, and if they don't work out, they don't eat. It sounds naive, but I thought these extremes were only for influencers, models and the like, not regular students and working people.

I never realized how ingrained the 'thin is beautiful' mentality would be. So, mad respect to anyone on their weight loss journey in a country or community where weight/weight loss is so emphasized.

I wouldn't normally make a motivational 'you can do it!' post, but if there's one person that needs to hear this, it'll be worth the sappiness. Remember that comparing yourself to others isn't always fair, healthy, or helpful.

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De-stressing my life to help me lose weight

So about two years ago I successfully lost about 40 lbs, and it was great. I went from like 270 to 230 (I'm F, 25). Then I was promoted to a management position at my job (worst decision ever, felt like a glorified babysitter who gets blamed for everything the kids do), and my stress levels skyrocketed. Like, I'd be crying in the shower before going into work because I hated it so much.

Well, I demoted myself. I have two more shifts as a manager, then it's back to good ol' basics for not really much less pay.

I'm looking forward to making progress in weight loss again. I'm hovering around 250 but I can tell stress-eating and stress in general has wrecked my body.

I know we're not supposed to necessarily wait for certain dates or milestones to lose weight because there will always be a reason not to, but man...this whole job thing has really changed my perspective on how much energy I put into other people. I used to be so worried that my managers would think I wasn't doing enough, and I would take on extra stuff just to get them to like me more. That's gone now. I only care how much I'm paid to care, and the moment I clock out I only focus on myself and my family.

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