Thoughts from 115 Down

Progress Pics: https://imgur.com/gallery/h6G1RzX

Hey Lose It! I posted here about a year ago and have made a fair amount of progress since then.

The following is something I posted to my personal Facebook earlier today, the first time I’d really talked on any non-Reddit social media about my weight loss. I haven’t edited it, but I wanted to share with this community as well:

“Over the course of the last eighteen months, I've lost 115 lbs.

I have a lot of thoughts about weight loss and body image and gym culture. I had a lot of stories to tell about my own experiences. So, the other day, I came here to Facebook to make a post about just that. I ended up with something that was far too long and much too personal than anything I'd ever like to share on Facebook.

Here’s what I’ve landed on: I've changed a lot over the last eighteen months. I'm down almost three shirt sizes. I lost 11 inches off of my waist. Everything about me on the outside looks a lot different than it did last March. A lot changed on the inside too, and some of it, to those of you who see me on a regular basis, has been just as obvious. I'm more confident than ever. I feel much more in control of my emotions than I used to be. Without a doubt, my mental health improved right alongside my physical health.

Now, it's hard to know how much of that is the weight loss and how much of that is the incredibly transformative time that is college. I've spent the last few years surrounding myself with a support system that loves me as much as I do them. Losing 115 lbs changes you a lot, but so does living from age of 19 to 21. I didn't have the luxury of experiencing those separately, so, it's a classic chicken or the egg problem.

Losing the weight doesn't solve all the problems. I heard that a lot as I started slimming down, and it seems obvious. But it's a hard conclusion to come to on your own. To admit to yourself that your fat isn't the root of all evil is hard. The truth is that there's still plenty of days where I wake up with as much disdain as for my body as I did 18 months and 115 lbs ago. But there's a lot less of them.

I don't make this post to brag, though I am incredibly proud of myself. I don't make this post to be an inspiration, though I've had friends and family members tell me I am. I definitely don't make it to offer my workout tips or to tell you about some diet that worked for me.

If there's any message I have it's this: body image is an everchanging thing. Getting and staying healthy is a constant process. Happiness is multifaceted, and life is in flux. I've learned how to workout. I've learned how to count my calories. I'm not done doing either of those, and I'm not done losing weight.

But now I'm learning to love myself. And I think I always will be.”

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