When I decided to start losing weight in October of 2018, one of the tipping factors that made me finally take the plunge was the mental illnesses I was struggling with; namely depression and anxiety.
I was absolutely certain that if I got to an acceptable weight, that all these problems would simply melt away with the fat that I was losing. After being fat and unhappy for my whole life, I was convinced that the reason I was unhappy must have been because of my size/the number on the scale/the person who looked back in the mirror.
That didn't happen for me.
I started off at 140kg (310lb), and I am now down to 95kg (210lb) with a little more to go, and I am still the same depressed and anxious person that I once was, except now instead of being depressed and anxious in a 3XL shirt, I'm depressed and anxious in an L shirt. (I'm 6'2 for reference)
I realised that nothing had changed just a few weeks ago when I found an old diary entry from the day I started losing weight, detailing how I was certain I was going to be much happier by losing weight. And don't get me wrong, I am proud of my progress, and losing weight has made me feel good, but the mental health issues I had along the way have persisted.
So I decided to see a therapist. I booked an appointment and went a couple of days ago. I told her about this experience, and how I was certain that losing weight would relieve my mental health issues, but that ultimately I still felt empty inside, she smiled kindly and said these words:
"No matter how much we can change our physical body, it's very hard to change what's already inside us."
That's when I finally understood: my weight isn't stopping me from being happy, my brain is stopping me from being happy.
To anyone who thinks that losing weight will suddenly fix all of your internal issues, just pause for a second, really evaluate if your weight is the only thing stopping you from living your life to the fullest. Consider working on both your physical health and mental health at the same time. Weight loss is a two way street between physical and mental health, and you owe it to yourself to be healthy in both areas.
I love this community, and if you have found the opposite experience, please let us all know about it :)
<3
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