Wednesday, August 28, 2019

After maintaining a 150lb loss since 2012 I’m almost back to where I started.

I’ve joined the ranks of the fallen. I didn’t think it would ever happen to me but alas it has. I went from 350lbs in 2010 to 180lb in 2012. I was able to (mostly) maintain that loss up until last summer. The story of how I gained it back seems pretty typical from what I’ve read here, I got into my first serious relationship and found that it wasn’t easy for me to focus on CICO while balancing a relationship.

Right now I’m sitting at 260lbs. None of my clothes fit and my social anxiety has flared up a lot, I avoid going out in public as much as possible. It’s difficult to rationalize why I allowed myself to be put back in the same situation I worked so hard to overcome nearly a decade ago. I didn’t have quite the amazing transformation that I originally envisioned at the beginning of my weight loss journey. As it turned out, my weight wasn’t hiding a beautiful person underneath it, but despite that I was still much more comfortable in my daily life not being morbidly obese.

I’m hoping this post along with rededicating myself to logging every day in MFP will be the start of my second, and hopefully final, weight loss journey.

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