Some perspective on relationships & weight loss

I'm [28 M] in a relationship with my girlfriend [28 F]. Before I met her, I was in shape, but now that we've been together for two years, we've lapsed into poor eating habits, and we're both overweight. I'm roughly 230lbs, and she's sitting at my guesstimate of 290-300lbs.

For context, I had a drinking problem when we met, but have since given up alcohol entirely for my health. I lost all of my friends in a final blowout argument just before meeting my girlfriend, so I don't have anybody to speak to about these things other than you internet people.

My question is this. Am I being manipulated into a life of health issues & weight gain by my lazy girlfriend?

It took me months to even get her to acknowledge that we've ballooned, and it took a nasty blowout & the threat of breaking up if she didn't at the very least agree that we needed a change to actually get her to listen to me about fitness.

Even now, she disagrees with every rational process I take to lose weight. She'll tell me that she wants to lose it, and we'll go for 2-3-4 days doing so well with walks, exercises, swimming, etc. Then, she'll bake me millionaire shortbread whilst I'm at work and expect me to eat a whole slab because she "slaved away all day". She'll complain about being sore from her swim, then get so grumpy & irritable with me that I eventually cave & give in to Chinese takeaway.

Has anybody else been through this? Am I going mad? She claims to want to lose the weight, but does everything in her power to mess it up, and to drag me down with her.

Help?

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No longer pre-diabetic!

In July my blood work came back as pre-diabetic (just barely) with A1c at 5.8%. I was about 6 weeks into weight loss at the time and ~35lbs down from a starting weight of 360lbs. I was surprised since I'd been overweight my whole life and I guess I felt "immune" to diabetes though obviously I knew that couldn't be true. But I wasn't terribly concerned since the test showed I was just barely in the pre-diabetic range, and I was confident that my change in lifestyle should bring it down -- it was probably a lot higher before June!

The results came in today and my A1c was at 5.4% -- under the 5.7% pre-diabetic threshold =D

Everything else including liver and kidney function looked great and did not change considerably since my last test which put my doc at ease - she was concerned about the rate of weight loss and called around to find out if we should slow things down, but the folks at OHSU weren't concerned and with this blood test showing no risk factors, I'm cleared to keep going at my own pace.

Here's my progress so far. I'm hoping to hit 100 lbs lost (260 lbs) by December and 150 by the end of next year, though I'm not troubled when I don't hit a certain weight by a certain time. It just helps me to adjust my calories/exercise to try to hit a particular rate of loss and feels like a bit of a game now.

https://imgur.com/a/JiT3xZg

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[Daily Directory] Find your quests for the day here! - Thursday, 25 October 2018

Welcome adventurer! Whether you're new on this quest or are towards the end of your journey there should be something below for you.

Daily journal.

• [Q&A] "I have a question."
• [Day 1] "I am starting my weight loss journey."
• [SV/NSV] "I have an accomplishment to share."
• [24hr Pledge] "Today I am going to..."

Interested in some side quests?

• [Motivation Monday] Share some motivation, get some motivation.
• [Tantrum Tuesday] Need to vent? People getting on your nerves?
• [Weigh-In Wednesday]
• [Track with Me Thursday] Did we just become best friends?!
• [Free Talk Friday] What's on your mind?

Community bulletin board!

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• [Wecipe Wednesday] Swap and discuss recipies!

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---

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NSV: Saying no to free office food.

Hi all, I've been a long time lurker on this sub, but I've been getting more serious about my weight loss journey and thought interacting more with this community would help. :)

​

So, as the title says, for the past week and a half I have successfully turned down every opportunity for free office food. I recently got a new job and as it turns out my department is known for being a little food obsessed on top of the foodie culture that the company has as a whole. We are one of the few departments that has a snack table in the middle of the work area, and I happen to sit very close to it. Everything ends up there, I'm talking things like chips and cookies to candy, cake, donuts and even breakfast burritos. My department also caters lunch to us on the regular so things like In-n-Out and tacos are always being brought in. Not to mention the crazy boba obsession everyone has (which is one of my favorite things :( ).

​

However despite all of that, I haven't taken any of it. Not one. And I'm infinitely better for it. Its turned into this game to see how long I can keep the streak going, but I do have my moments of weakness (they were handing out Halloween candy today!). Anyway, I'm super proud of that and thought that this would be the place to share it :). And maybe inspire some of you who are also battling the free office food monster!

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I want to be able to run

I know my goal should be weight loss but that's mainly intake vs outtake, and I'm far too lazy to really count anything. (Sorry, this is me being honest).

The bad things about me. I'm around 250 lbs, 5'3. I'm a smoker and my addiction is mt dew. Mt dew isn't helping my weight, smoking won't help my lungs, which won't help my running.

But I've started jogging, walking, running (sprinting?) around my apartment complex which is only a quarter of a mile. So far, I've done it twice (at 4:30, again at 5:40). I plan to do it another time tonight and from that, continue to do it every day, 3 times a day... though i am a bit worried once it really gets cold.

But could I, as a fat girl, be able to work up my stamina and actually jog the entire distance (.25 miles)? And then maybe get to a mile?

I don't plan on eating more than normal but I know that'll have to be my next step: get a handle on what i eat. Like today, I had an entire bag of popcorn, now I'm having a huge piece of meatloaf and half my plate is filled with veggies (microwave in a bag; carrots, broccoli and cauliflower). But this is also my 5th or 6th can of mt dew.

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Huge NSV I am known as the skinny and fit one at work!!!

It still feels surreal. I moved to a new place and got a new job and that's what everyone knows me as. It's still wild to hear. Back home it was always "hey the guy who lost a lot of weight" which wasen't bad, but this feels so much better. 6'2 19 yo male 280 to 165. (Ik flair says different haven't been on a computer for a long time to change it)

Also just want to say everyone keep working till your goals it is worth it!!!

Anyone that is reading this I know you can do this. Perseverance and consistencey as well as discipline and you can do it.

I just ran cico ,but that developed into real healthy eating of trying to fit more food in a smaller calorie window which opened up into lots of vegatables,fruits, beans, and a love of lean chicken and tuna. (Also almond milk god damn delicious)

Discover what works for you and stick to it and love it and yourself!!!

I have been battling confidence issues with my body for years and going through a big weight loss journey has really helped me grow. (I still fight really bad social anxiety ,but I don't feel like I'm just a waste which I couldn't help feeling at my weight before.

Also it's definitely not a myth that exercise is not needed to lose weight. (Although I wish I was exercising this whole time haha)

I will be making an update post at some point when I hit my curremt fitness goals ,but for now go ahead and ask away if you have any questions or if ya need motivation yourself!!! Also I can post pics if you want

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Last time I was in this situation I was a big old sadsack and ordered takeaway every dinner (plus some in between), but now it's an opportunity to reaffirm my good habits and see how far I've come in terms of health and wellbeing.

About 6 months ago my girlfriend was away for a long weekend and I was as miserable as my eating habits became. A combination of FOMO, poor mental health, no accountability, and good old-fashioned pining made me reach for the Deliveroo app on my phone.

Now she's gone on holiday much further away and for longer and while I still miss her like hell, I'm still sticking to my routine instead of moping around. In the last 6 months I have:

• Started working out - giving me something productive to do instead of sitting around missing her, and getting outside makes me feel great
• Solidified my eating habits - I now eat a much better, enjoyable, and flexible variety of food and improved my portion control so I never feel like I'm restricting
• Deleted all my accounts for the delivery apps - this wasn't just about food but also some of the shady practices of these companies and how it's a pretty rotten deal for the restaurants and driver, so I was never able to fully enjoy the food I was getting. By having to go direct to the source it means I get in some activity and socialisation walking to the store, and I'm much less inclined to overeat when I can't pretend I'm ordering for two.
• Improved my mental health - I don't have any illnesses but at times can get pretty anxious and avoidance is my coping mechanism, but I've realised that I need to tell myself to "just fucking do it" and it always turns out fine. There were a few other factors contributing to my bad mental health earlier this year, but this was the key one and what I was fully in control of.
• Got out of my comfort zone and become more outgoing - I've always been confident but only in comfortable situations and when I was in control, but in the process of trying new things I've been able to push the boundaries and gained a lot more faith in myself and my abilities.

I think a lot of us are not just on a weight loss journey, but one to build a better self. Personally, being overweight was not a problem for me and I was genuinely happy with who I was, but it was a catalyst for a lot of other change. The discipline and the drive needed to lose weight can be transferred over to a lot of other things, and it gave me the confidence to stop coasting through life but actively pursue all kinds of opportunities like upskilling, new hobbies, and career choices.

I'm still a long way off losing all the weight, but in the meantime I'm gaining so much more!

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