I spent all of my skinny years thinking I was fat.

As the headline states, I (34f) spent all of my skinny years thinking I was fat.

I was always a chubby kid. I was bullied horrendously for it. I started losing the weight when I was about 11/12. Then a teacher started grooming and then abusing me when I was about 12 too. Bullying and abuse. It sucked. I tried to tell adults about the abuse, but nothing was done to save me. I remember clearly thinking that if I get fat again, my abuser will leave me alone. Fat people are ugly and undesirable. So I got fat again. Deliberately.

I was removed from the school when someone finally stepped in to stop the abuse when I was 16.

I started losing weight again, but couldn’t cope with the male attention I got. Abuse fucks you up that way. So I got fat again. Fat = safe in my head.

I lost weight again in my early 20s and started dating. I was also diagnosed with depression and put on meds that made me gain weight. Then I dislocated a knee, had glandular fever (mono) for 6 months and got out of bed 30 kgs (66lbs) heavier.

From then on, I’ve just been getting bigger and bigger. I’ve had some lighter years, but the weight keeps coming back on and then adding more.

Two weeks ago I was the highest weight I’ve ever been. 153.3kgs (337lbs).

I started the 8 Week Blood Sugar Diet by Michael Moseley two weeks ago. This morning I’m 10kgs down (22lbs).

I had success two years ago with this diet, so I’m back on the horse. It’s no longer a diet but the way I’m going to live for the rest of my life.

I’ve also dabbled with IF, so am sticking to a 16:8 IF pattern, with the occasional 20:4.

I’ve read The Obesity Code by Jason Fung, as well as the ultimate guide to fasting. I’ll be adding in some 48-72 hour fasts after the initial 8 weeks of the BSD.

I’m working on my mental health issues too in conjunction with the weight loss. Anxiety and PTSD have also been added to my diagnosis of depression.

I can already feel my mood is getting better, now that I’m not feasting and then crashing my blood sugar constantly. I feel like I can do this now. I’m in control of my food. I don’t need to hide. Fat =/= safe anymore.

I spent my skinny years feeling fat.

I’m spending the rest of my life healthy. Healthy food, healthy mind, healthy body.

Help keep me accountable and on track please ☺️

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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2W3Q7U9

Pigging out is much more fun when you’ve “earned it”

My husband and I never go to eat because we’re broke. But today we have two eating events and I want to participate because...well like I said, we NEVER get to go out to eat. One of the events was Pho with friends, the other is a party catered by a nice restaurant. I wanted to eat Pho, but I really want to enjoy my time at the party without worrying too much about calories.

So this morning I had some blueberries and coconut silk for a whopping 75 calories, then a small portion of my bowl of veggie/tofu pho (saving most of the broth and noodles for another day) for 200 calories so tonight I get to eat 1700 calories and still be at max weight loss. I can have fancy drinks and appetizer and all the things I have consciously avoided for months.

These small accomplishments feel so good when not too long ago I’d have pigged out all day long without a second thought.

Keep at it y’all and thanks for the constant motivation.

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NORMAL BMI!! BMI 44 to 24, 118 lbs lost in 2 years, let's celebrate!! (pics)

Dear loseit, for the first time since puberty, I'm at a normal weight! I'm a 36 year old woman, 5'5" (165 cm) and 145 lbs (66 kg) as of today, my highest weight was 264 lbs (120 kg) at least.

Here's a photo. How did I do it? Mostly it was a mental thing for me. I've hated my body since my childhood, and the only way I ever knew how to change it was to eat 600 cals a day while sweating one hour on the treadmill every single day and hating myself even more when I failed to keep that up.

This time was different. The goal, at first, was not weight loss, but to change the way I eat. It started with being diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and having to eliminate blood sugar raising foods from my diet. Starting with a mindset of "I'll be damned if I go hungry while pregnant because of this stupid diagnosis", I was astounded how much less I ate, and how much more satisfied I felt, after I cut those "problem carbs" completely from my diet and replaced them with veggies and protein. I never weigh myself, but I was going through new pants sizes monthly. You bet that I kept it up after pregnancy. But the whole mindset was different than my other diets. It was about feeding myself, nourishing myself, doing myself some good, not about fighting a body I hate.

Two things were key: the good food had to be always available and quickly prepared. I go through shittons of prewashed salad greens, grape tomatoes and frozen veggies every week. And I can't allow myself to go hungry, or I start making bad decisions the next time I come across food. I always have some snacks around that don't make me overeat, and if for some reason I'm hungry two hours before dinner, you won't see me without a piece of food in my hand the whole time.

Whenever the pants shrinking started to slow, I adjusted my diet incrementally. Mostly finding lower fat higher protein alternatives for things I was eating regularly. Nowadays I have some set meals that I eat almost every day, just varying the ingredients. There's no thinking involved, it's a habit, happens automatically. (If you're curious, one is some sort of veggie-egg combo for breakfast, the other a salad with a boiled egg and some protein -usually chicken breast- for lunch) My breakfast and lunch are very low calorie but just enough to keep me full and functioning until the next meal. This has been carefully experimented on and perfected over many months. That leaves me with a huge calorie budget for dinner, where I have very little control over what kind of food is on the table, and I can't escape my husband's great cooking. :) I don't completely steer clear of starchy foods nowadays, but they are always a small position to the side, not the main event. Carbs make me crave more carbs, and disturb the way hunger and satiety work for me. I'd much rather not eat that pizza at all, than spend hours second guessing whether I'm hungry-hungry or just fake-carby-hungry.

I don't want to make this too long so it might sound overly simplified. I could mention a million other things, many tiny changes over many months. Exercise played no role in my weight loss. Becoming a gym member recently was, on the contrary, a way of rewarding myself for what I've achieved with my diet. And, you read that right, I didn't use any kind of calorie tracking device or food scale the whole time, but with my history of restrictive dieting, my own brain is a scarily reliable calorie tracking device, so, your mileage might vary.

Weight loss did not solve my mental issues, not one bit. I'm just as insecure, only about other physical things now. The loose skin is there, but honestly not that bad, and it's getting better with the last lbs I'm losing. But god, I miss my breasts. My husband isn't really that into me right now, he's awesome and has supported and loved me from 180 lbs when we met to 260 lbs and back down, but he's weirded out because I look and feel like a stranger to him right now. And I look and feel like a stranger to myself, too. Losing weight is not the end all solution to all things going wrong in my life. But it was doable. A way to prove to myself that I can control things about my life. And to hell with all the people who would underestimate or ignore me because of the way I looked.

Good luck loseit, I SWEAR if I can do it, ANYONE can do it!!

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Double depression and losing weight questions

Now that I’ve started working again and will have some spare change, I thought it would be a good time to get rid of this mass that people—from those I’ve just met to people I actually like—love to reference. However my double depression presents barriers that have historically prevented/discouraged me from exercising before and contributed to my skyrocketing weight:

1. My limbs feel heavy, as if they are made of lead and I inhabit a planet with 100x earth’s gravity and that whenever I move that I am dragging them along. I feel I can hear every cell in them screaming out in pain when I move and they ache—sometimes minutely, other times greatly—whenever I stop moving them.

2. I have low amount of energy, the majority which is spent on work, so much so that at the end of the working day I am wiped out and barely have enough energy to make my lunch for the subsequent day before collapsing in my bed.

3. This fecking disease has slowly degraded my tolerance for pain which I know exercise will bring me due to the heavy limbs and low energy.

4. I suffer from lower back pain, which likes to make itself known when I’m standing for just a minute.

Thus I have some questions for those suffering from similar circumstances regarding starting a weight loss programme.

Does/Did working out make you feel energised afterwards? Was it a significant increase or a negligible amount?
Does/Did working out improve your mood? Was it a significant increase or a negligible amount?
Do/Did you work out everyday?
Did your body/limbs feel less heavy after you settled into a regimen? Did they only feel less heavy once you lost weight? Or do they still feel heavy?
How did you find the energy to work out? Were there certain times that were better to work out?
How did you cope with the pain?
Did losing weight reduce/get rid of your back pain? Or do you have to use other methods to deal with it?
Am I asking too many questions?

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Post major weight loss, New goals, questions

Hey all! I want to give you my background to help with my questions. January 2015 I made my resolution to get healthy. In that first year I lost about 100 pounds. I got pregnant and lost my first son in January 2016. I continued to lose some weight and got pregnant again. Thankfully I had a healthy baby boy! But I gained about 60 pounds. I got all the baby weight off in 9 months and continued my goals. I now am about 138 which I’m happy with. I would like to add some muscles. Im not looking to get huge just more toned. I do have some extra skin but it isn’t terrible. Has anyone had ant experience with lessening it? (Other than surgery)

Has anyone has good results with body recomp instead of doing a bulk? I’ve heard mixed reviews.

I’ve spent so much time focusing on weight loss it is weird for me to have new goals. Has anyone else dealt with this?

Check my profile for pics

Thanks to anyone who reads and has any tips!

Here is one of the progress pics I’ve posted

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I feel like I have to keep this a secret

I started a weight loss challenge after Thanksgiving with my fiance and a couple family members. It's going great. Almost two months later and I've lost almost ten pounds and feel great. It's the first time I've really stuck to something like this and succeeded.

Anyway, the only thing that's annoying is that I feel like I can't tell anyone. Whenever I do, I get, "Oh, you don't need to lose weight! You look fine!!" It's so frustrating. And I'll get pushback when I decline food because the other person doesn't respect that I'm trying to stick to my calorie plan. Just because I look "healthy" on the outside doesn't mean I'm healthy on the inside.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent :)

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I’m addicted to food and it’s getting worse...but I just wanna eat all the cookies

F/ 17/ 5’4/ 156 lbs

I’m addicted to food. I really am. If I’m not eating 24/7 then I’m either sleeping or thinking of food. Most of the time I’m actually eating. I was 167 lbs before but I lost weight by going to a dietician then my binge eating came back and ruined my life. I am constantly getting up to the kitchen to eat, I ate a box of 12 cookies today, with breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. I’m unstoppable. I’m addicted to carbs, I’ll eat freshly baked bread until my stomach hurts...

Food is controlling my life and I don’t know how to deal with it. I need someone’s help, anyone please. What do I do?? I’m still in school so should I intermittent fasting, intuitive eating, 5 meals a day... what should I do... I just wanna eat like normal people do. I don’t wanna have food on my mind all day long, I don’t wanna sneak into the kitchen and eat everything all day long. I just want to be normal. Food is consuming my life. I will literally eat and not feel EXTREMELY stuffed and continue. If I’m not eating, I’m on my phone trying to find ways to lose weight.

I know weight loss is whatever u can sustain but I don’t even know what that is anymore. Please help me, anyone pls. For reference I live with my family and my house always has junk food. It’s just carbs that I’m addicted to.

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