S/W: 149kg (328 pounds) - C/W: 134kg (296 pounds) I started my weight loss journey in July. G/W: 95kg 22 year old male, 6'1.
I'm so proud of myself at the moment. I'm achieving things I never thought I could.
Before I get in to my story, if you want to know what I'm doing for weight loss: 18/6 IF, Gym 3-5 times a week (weight training mainly) and two meals a day. I don't count calories but I know I'm on a reasonable calorie deficit.
Just a little bit of a back story. When I was 9 years old I lost my father to suicide. Because of that event I grew up with very poor mental health. When I got to my teenage years I was diagnosed with major depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies and PTSD. Due to feeling this way I found food to be a source of comfort. I comfort ate as much as I could, then when I started smoking weed I would binge eat until I was almost sick (most nights). I left school at 16, went in to tertiary education and got a few qualifications but ended up leaving when I was doing my diplomas due to my mental health. I had so much free time on my hands from being told I was unable to work by the doctors. My days consisted of eating, gaming, sleeping and smoking weed. Emphasis on the eating. I always had in my head if I lost weight it would fix so many of my problems, I just never had the energy to start, because I knew I would fail.
Now I don't know if this relates to it at all but I do find this rather curious. In around June this year I took an acid trip by myself. I don't usually dabble in psychedelics or any drugs apart from weed, but for some reason the offer was there and it felt like a good idea at the time. Long story short it was very strong stuff and I had a very traumatic experience. The bad trip was almost as traumatic as finding my father when I was younger. It was just purely negative, I couldn't think anything positive. It was so dark and scary, also uncontrollable. When I came out of it I realized going in to it with my poor mental health was such a bad idea, because it only enhanced those feelings and brought out a lot of things in my mind I had locked up. Once I was sober I was extremely grateful to be back to normal. For some reason I was also bursting with motivation to sort my shit out! I knew how bad my mind was and I wanted to get on the right path ASAP. Soon after I started IF using an app which is great for tracking my progress. I started going for walks, eating better then hired a personal trainer.
From gyming and IF I have become so much more fit. I can do just as much as all the skinnier/stronger people I see at the gym (I like to think so haha) and it feels great. Currently I feel like a fit man in a fat mans body lol. IF has given me more energy and more mental clarity.
People often say you will fail many times before you're successful when it comes to losing weight. I disagree. This is the first time I have ever committed myself to proper weight loss. I have been going strong for 4 months now and there's no way this train is stopping baby! Actually, this is the most I've committed myself to anything in my entire life. My whole life revolves around getting healthy and it's great.
My mental health at the moment is just getting better and better, it's amazing. I still have my off days every now and then, but it's constantly 1 step back, 3 steps forward. I'm much less anxious in public. I have hope in my life now. I'm so excited for my future because I know I'm going to achieve my weight loss goals, no matter what. I can't wait until I'm at my goal weight, confident in myself and able to put myself out there. A few months ago I didn't expect to live much longer. I had absolutely no hope for my future at all. I haven't had any suicidal thoughts in the past 4 months since I started my journey. That's a huge win in itself.
Day by day my life is getting better, day by day I'm losing more and more weight.
All it took was that initial push. I know it's super hard to start but just know if you force yourself through those first few weeks, once you start seeing results it's a huge burst of motivation, which will only make you want to keep going! On a side note, getting a personal trainer is very ideal. If I didn't have someone to teach me things, give me programmes/ideas I don't think I would of been able to continue effectively. I feel great after my personal training sessions, it's my favorite time of the week. Each to their own though, I know some people don't find PT necessary.
I know this a bit of an all over the place ramble but I just felt like sharing my progress. If you've read this far thank you! I think over the past few months I have learnt a lot about exercise and IF so if you have any questions, or just want someone to talk to about anything. People feel free to hit me up.
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