I Can't Break The Cycle

Hey guys, I'm hoping someone can give me a bit of advice and comfort in this terrible time.

A bit of background, I've always been really insecure of my body since I was a kid and was always aware of what I was eating and my exercise level. I tried losing weight multiple times but nothing really stuck until I realised that doing Ramadan was making me look slimmer. I did a modified version of that for a few months but again I gained the weight back. At the end of 2020, I weighed the most I've weighed at 71kg and I decided to start with CICO.

I then proceeded to do CICO for the past year, losing max 20 kg. I like my body much more and feel confident sometimes, even though the weight loss didn't change my biggest insecurity that is my chubby legs.

Because of my past of disordered eating and mental health connections such as body dysmorphia and really bad self worth, I struggled a lot at times w CICO. But now its at its worst.

Since about a month ago, Halloween 2021, I have gained 2 kg. I have not lost any weight since September. I have been binge eating until throwing up, cannot stop thinking about food and its effecting my studies and relationships, and I cannot leave the house bcus I can't stand anyone looking at me. I keep trying to get back on track but everything overwhelms me and I'm constantly on the edge until something tips me off and I start the cycle of bingeing and isolating myself again. It gets worse when I'm with others and they eat and I eat with them, however much I want, 2000-4000 calories a day.

I don't know what to do. I'm not at all happy with my body and especially now that I'm gaining weight. I'm constantly reminiscing about how I managed to do so well for a whole year and how that all seems completely impossible now. I want to lose more weight, I want to love my body for once, and most of all, I want to have the discipline and control back and set out to achieve what I want!

I don't know where to go from here...

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I lost 74 pounds. My family thinks I'm anorexic now.

I can't even say it hurts. I just want your opinion on how I should deal with this problem. My family thinks I'm anorexic, but my whole family is overweight. I really don't give a fuck, but it hurts just a little bit. You know? Because when you come home for thanksgiving from college you expect people to be happy for you and your weight loss. I can't have anything nice in my life. If you have a nice family that supports you, you should cherish that shit. Because they're many people in life that go through hell with toxic family.

The is perfectly applicable to the crabs in the bucket analogy. One person gets healthy and everyone else wants to drag them back down to be obese.

Has anyone else gone through this?

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Grief has made me gain a fair bit of weight

I lost my partner earlier this year, and I’ve gained a fair bit of weight because of it. I know with grief, that weight loss isn’t the main thing I should focus on, but the weight gain has added to my depression. I didn’t really think much of it, until people started commenting on it. I didn’t realize it was so noticeable. But the other day, a woman asked me when my baby was due, and I’m not pregnant! She felt really bad for what she said, but it still bothered me a lot. When I’ve talked to my friends and family about it, they’ve all said that I don’t look pregnant, but that some people just carry more weight in their stomachs which also isn’t helpful. I feel like I just don’t know how to lose weight in a balanced manner. I actually go to the gym pretty regularly, but I know my diet isn’t the best, and because of grief, I drink more than I used to. When I’ve lost weight in the past, I was an all or nothing kind of person, so I ate very strictly, barely drank and exercised intensely almost every day, but I know that isn’t sustainable. I just don’t know how to approach weight loss now. Does anyone have any tips?

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Small Victories

This is the first time in my life I’ve remained consistent in a weight loss journey. Down about 37lbs with about 40 left to go. I came to Thanksgiving with a plan and I’m very proud I was able to execute the plan and stay on r track with eating well and not ruining all the progress I’ve made so far.

My eventual desire is to be so into a routine and this life change that I can cheat a little bit more on a holiday or birthday without derailing entirely. Ideally I would be able to jump right back into the exercise and healthier eating the next day, but I’m not at that place mentally or physically yet so I’m feeling like I overcame a big temptation yesterday to fall off the wagon. Had a plan and place and stuck to it and wanted to share that small little success story.

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5’8 252lbs 25 year old male needing weight loss advice

I’ve never really struggled with weight up until a couple years ago. I was usually always active until, played sports in high school and college. I started to notice towards my senior year of college I really start to gain weight. I believe from 2017-2021 I’ve gained about 50-60 pounds. I’ve always went and tried to diet and I lasted a week and gave up, tried keto, anabolic diet, intermittent fasting, low carb and nothing works for me. I know at the end of the day it’s CICO. My biggest issue is that I snack a lot and I always feel like I’m hungry. I never really included veggies and fruit in my diet since I’m typically not a big fan and I just never know what to cook and what to have for healthy snacking. I have a 6 month old, and a WFH job I think it’s a great time to get serious. Does anyone have advice on what to do? Or was anyone in my shoes where they felt they tried it all and just can’t do it?

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DAE feel like they’re going too fast into a new lifestyle change that it’s made them really stressed out over it?

for some context, im currently a uni student who’s studying full-time, and i’ve decided to take control of my health and body because i’ve gained too much weight after emotional eating for the past two years. however, after starting 20:4 IF, i’ve started to constantly think about food which had impacted both my moods and energy levels. im planning on scaling back my IF schedule by a few hours so it’s less rigorous, since weight loss is ultimately about sustainability, but im curious if anyone else also felt this way?

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Struggling with "wasting" food

I'm on Round 2 of my weightloss journey. First time 250lb -> 165 lb. Gained weight back to 235lb and now I'm trying to get it back down to 170/165lbs. The first time I white knuckled it through. This time I'm trying to be more sustainable with my changes and confront some of my disordered thinking towards food.

One thing that keeps coming up is how wasteful it feels to throw food away. And it gives me a sense of lingering guilt. The more I think about it, the more I see this from my parents growing up. We're from an Asian culture and family time has always been centered around Mom's cooking and food. I have memories of my mom not eating much during dinner and waiting until the end to finish off whatever was left from the center plates. I always saw plate going back into the kitchen clean.

When I met my girlfriend and we'd go out to eat, she'd always be reminding me "you don't have to finish it if you're full." But I would just think about how I'd take it home and not eat it and it'd be wasteful so I'd just chow it down.

Even today, the day after Thanksgiving -- we are vacationing now and traveling tomorrow and there are things left in the fridge. I'm trying to not let my overeating yesterday bleed into today but the thought of throwing all those leftovers away is making me feel guilty. We try to not overbuy food but you know how things go sometimes. I know it's not beneficial to me or my progress to eat it all. It's taken until now for me to realize that eating it all is doing myself more harm than good.

On the plus side, I caught myself looking at half a container of mashed potatoes, creamed corn, turkey slices, 6 eggs, vegetables and whatever else we have in the fridge and thought it funny I could even think I’d eat that in a day. So that’s improvement I guess! lol

Does anyone else struggle with this thinking? How have you been able to reframe it or deal with it when it comes to weight loss & portion control?

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