I figured I would share my weight loss story thus far, as well as some of my past, and my struggles with it in my past.
I've been obese ever since I was 9 years old.
I was homeschooled as a child, and while I was never directly bullied, sometimes, when I attended church every Sunday morning, the other girls my age & grade would give me dirty looks, looking me up and down from head to toe. I always would see myself, and feel unhappy about how I looked, and I would try to be pretty and wear pretty dresses, but I just didn't like how I looked, and how it was harder for me to do things other kids could do easily.
Fast forward to when I was about 12 or 13, I was suffering complications with my thyroid, my body physically maturing way earlier than it should've, and lots of complications with my hormonal levels. I started seeing a doctor, who, at the time, diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. I also started seeing an endocrinologist, who diagnosed me with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and hypothyroidism. My testosterone was always high, and I was always in pain, but my endocrinologist instructed me to start taking measures to lose weight. I was 210 pounds at the worst around this time.
Through many cycles of giving up, trying again, not having enough willpower and giving up again, then trying again for a while, I can't even count how many times I've failed. Just last year, I tried hard to diet, but kept having stomach issues and kept feeling nauseated every time after I'd eat foods high in insoluble fiber, like broccoli, and the salads I would eat. I was so discouraged because I wanted to lose weight so badly, but I just couldn't do it with feeling sick all of the time, and I gave up, again. This is one of my biggest regrets. I wish I had tried other things and kept trying to lose weight, but eliminating the foods my stomach was sensitive to.
This February, March, and April have probably been the worst months for my weight ever before. I just... gave up. I ate what I wanted, I did what I wanted, I never exercised, I didn't want to think about it, and I was in denial. I'd go to doctor's appointments and close my eyes when I'd step on the scale. I couldn't take any more anxiety, but one day, when I saw the number on the scale... I was floored.
I cried that night when I saw the scale. I was 255 pounds. The highest I have ever been in my life, as a 20-year-old woman. I realized that this was getting very, very out of hand.
Last month, I started taking walks every day and removing snacks from my diet. Since last month, most days, I've been eating my breakfast along with a small serving of baby carrots and cucumber slices, that I found to be much easier on my stomach, and enjoyable to eat. I gave up all of the chips & sweet snacks I used to eat mindlessly, and I saw them in a whole new way.
I realized the impact they were having on me, and I realized how mindless I was being. Along with new prescriptions, I had started to take early last year, my diet was horrible, and I realized just how horrible it was when I saw that weight.
Since the month ago that I started, I have lost 16 pounds, and have been continuing to walk every day. I enjoy doing it now, and I don't complain like I used to or dread it like I used to. I enjoy the peacefulness of my break time, sitting at the park, and I bring a metal tumbler of cold water with me, a Bluetooth headset so I can listen to some music, and my phone, and I use an app called MapMyWalk, so I can see the duration of my walks, as well as the distance, and calories burned. Every day is so much more fulfilling for me, and I've noticed a huge difference already in my endurance, and even my daily mood. I was feeling really low earlier today from anxiety, but when I came back home today from the 20-minute walk, most of the anxiety had been off of me completely.
When I walk now, I think about how much it helps to do it every day, and even when I'm starting to hurt, pant, or get tired, I press on, take a break for a while if I need, and keep telling myself positive things. "You're almost there." "You're doing great!" "Keep it up, you're almost done!" And these things, while they might sound small, help me a lot. As a person who's almost always had doubt in herself, with every day being fulfilling with my daily walks, I'm starting to notice that I'm feeling better about myself, and it's very rare that I'm proud of myself, but I come back home feeling proud of myself and accomplished.
I love taking walks now. Even if it's storming outside, I still go, just wearing a raincoat but still working as hard as I can. I love seeing the critters, the squirrels, the cats, the dogs, and the butterflies when I'm walking, or at the local park where I sit and take a break. I love the energy that listening to music gives me, and how it's so euphoric almost sometimes, just getting really into a song and walking with it.
I feel like, just over this month, I've grown a lot as a person in this self-discipline. I used to worry every day, "what if I fall out of this?" the few days after I started, but I'm happy to see that, every day, I think about taking a walk before I take it. For once, my brain is nagging me in a positive way, and not a self-deprecating way. Although I still play PC games and spend lots of time on the internet, I feel much less guilty now when I do after I get my walks done, and I don't start playing any games until after my walks.
I've lost 16 pounds now, with the help of MyFitnessPal, for logging my daily foods, MapMyWalk, for tracking my distance and calories burned, and my new mindset. I don't feel interested in those sweets and chips I used to crave so much anymore, and for the few times that I do eat any, it's not fulfilling, and I always make myself work a little harder after I "cheat," but I'm hardly getting the temptation at all anymore. Now, I see that I can't just eat anything; I see everything I eat as "how much do I need to work," and I've also gotten into the habit of slowing down when I chew.
At 238 pounds now, I'm certainly not done, and not in ideal shape for my age, but I'm working hard every day, and somehow enjoying every day of it too. I hope some of these tips give you motivation and feel free to ask me anything.
Much love to you all! This community is so supportive, and it's been one of the biggest inspirations for me to lose weight. I wish you all the best, and a wonderful end of the year. :) <3
(Edits were for formatting and fixing some spelling issues. :) )
