I gained around 50lbs in 2016-17 when I quit smoking and started comfort eating. Every day after work when I felt stressed I would go to the shop and buy whatever I wanted to eat. It was really unhealthy and I formed a strong habit. In October I took a before photo, meaning to start an exercise program that never got off the ground. In January, I was so uncomfortable in my body I knew I had to do something.
In 2007, I had full blown bulimia and once I had recovered I pushed away the idea of any active weight loss as relapse. I felt like I couldn’t try to lose weight or I risked falling into the same patterns that once threatened to swallow me while. My weight fluctuated in that decade within the normal range and a couple of lbs overweight since I wasn’t actively controlling it but it wasn’t until this last year that my weight was unhealthy and I was approaching the obese category.
I was doing well with moderate CICO and regular exercise for 8 months (down around 30lbs at 5’3”). I had good routines and I was losing weight in a psychologically healthy way for the first time in my life. I took a progress picture and felt like I was halfway to where I wanted to be. Then I had to move to the US for three months to work. All my routines, all my support were gone and I was stressed. The first week I binged, I had a donut every day, I went out for lunch with new coworkers, I bought whatever chips and crackers and desserts I wanted to try from the shop. I felt so out of control and I saw myself throwing away all my progress from the year. I took a picture at my new workplace as a reference for where I was after this week.
Then I worked hard to form a semi-healthy routine here. I stopped buying the snacks and going out as much, stopped with the donuts, starting making my own lunches and started tracking again. It’s been three months and although I haven’t been able to weigh myself, I’m down another dress size and the jeans I wore all the time when I came here are too baggy to wear.
I’m leaving this week to go home again and honestly I’m quite proud of myself. I made it through. I almost let it all go and I’m so glad I didn’t! I haven’t told many people I’m trying to lose weight so I just wanted to share :)
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