Background: From the end of 2016 to the beginning of 2017 I lost 35-40 lbs and seemed to settle in around 170-175. (I'm 37F 5' 7") I maintained it for about a year, and then this year have gained/lost the same 7-8 lbs. Up to 180, back to 175. Up to 181, back to 174. These were usually what I would now consider more "crash diets".
Back in October I got up to 185 and realized I was in a slippery position. Luckily, I refused to let myself slide further. I found this subreddit and it has been life-changing (I mean that seriously). I started with IF (my set goal is 18 hours, but I'll eat when I'm truly hungry - so sometimes that's at 14 hours, sometimes not til 20 or more). Then I added in CICO. The IF has been awesome at teaching me what hunger is. Plus, it helps me stay within my calorie budget to eat in a narrower window.
Since October I've lost 13.4 lbs and am now at 171.6. Living this way has felt pretty easy, and I've been amazed at how there has NOT been a huge mental struggle/desperation in my weight loss efforts this time.
BUT. I'm at my "comfort weight" - where I legitimately thought my body seemed to naturally want to stop, where I felt happy for most of the last two years, where a size 12 was totally good enough.
And I realized today that I'm SCARED. I'm scared to leave the 170s. I'm scared that this isn't real somehow, that anything 169 and below is just a strange dream that isn't really achievable, and I'll only put the weight back on as soon as I get there. Is that weird? Has anyone else experienced a fear of moving past a certain point? The last few days I've been struggling more with keeping up my fasting and staying within my calories (nothing crazy, just shorter fasts, smaller calorie deficits) and I'm afraid I'm sabotaging myself somehow because of that fear. Does that even make sense?
I'd love any tips or advice from those who have felt this way on how to overcome it. I'm excited to keep going, as I really think I can eat this way forever if I don't let my mental fears and previous beliefs about my body and weight get in the way.
TL;DR: After a 10 lb weight gain and now loss, I'm scared of going below my previous maintenance weight and want advice on how to overcome my fears.
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