For the past year, I lost my job because I have social anxiety related to my weight. I have been lying down and eating while in bed trying to take small steps or what not to lose weight but damn I couldn't. I have completely avoided meeting people and friends for the past 6 months because I weigh 112 kg (256 lbs) I've tried diets and diets in the past and kept telling myself "It won't work anyways, why try?" I kept losing the battle of weight loss. My only goal in life is to lose weight and honestly when I lose weight everything else settles itself, I can get a job and I can make friends. My social anxiety is tied to my looks so whenever I step out I feel this sense of tension because I feel ugly and fat.
I'm 26 and live with my parents because of my weight. I lost all the confidence I used to have from weight loss (I used to take adderall as a means function in life and it gave me everything until I quit, the only reason I took adderall shamefully was for weight loss).
This is my life: I browse the internet and just watch youtube videos all day and lie down in bad in the fetal position as I watch and eat food.
I don't know ... I tried counting calories and then I would go over. I tried to let myself eat whatever and feel like it's sustainable I can. But I'm so fucking tired of this shit. I have man boobs. I can't take it. Sometimes I want to die because I can't complete this one fucking goal that would unlock everything else for me in life. The job and the friends I want to make and meet. HELP ME. I did all this fucking small baby steps shit like damn, I know I need to track calories at 2000 but I just don't. My sleep schedule is so fucked I sleep at 9am wake up at 3pm. I'm fat and lonely. It's a vicious cycle when I feel bad about my weight, I eat.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/2Qqq3mb
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