Hello everyone!
I made an account just to post this - I have been a wild lurker for so long but you have all made my journey so much better so I wanted to share.
It is quite long, TL:DR at the bottom
F, 23, 5 6", SW 185lb, GW 150lb, CW 149.9lb
I have a very similar story to many people here - always a little on the bigger side, some very major self-confidence issues. But actually looking back to my teens I was never reeeally that overweight, just a little bit cute-chubby.
I lost so much (read: ~160lb to less than 140) in my first few months of university but I took it way too far. The scale became this lurking lusty demon in my bathroom which I both loved and hated - I was weighing myself maybe 3-4 times a day at one point. I remember skipping my one meal of a single plain jacket potato so the scale would go down. I don't know how I was functioning, I have no idea how I maintained that for more than a day, and I especially have no clue how things got so out of hand back then.
So, like everybody who tries a crazy, crazy diet like that, I fell off the wagon HARD. Gained it all back in a matter of months, found some new lusty demons Depression and Anxiety, and then gained a little more. I went from starving at UK size 8 to a bingeing size 16.
Then I kicked some demon butt and managed to get back down to a healthy enough size 12. So comfortable at size 12. I've always been fairly active, lots of walking in my job and a few good hikes on the weekend, which meant I could happily eat whole bags of haribo, big cheesy toasties for lunch and whole sharing bags of popcorn at the cinema. My weight was slowly creeping up though. My jeans started getting tighter. I had a good shock at some holiday photos of me in a bikini, stepped on the dreaded scale, saw 185lb and thought "that can't be so bad, right?", then checked my BMI: "oof, got something to work with here"
So here we are.
I tried keto with my boyfriend starting September 2018. He wanted to bulk so he would make these amaaazing calorie dense foods with cheese and cream and bacon, which I could only eat a hamster portion of to stay in my calorie limits. At the time, it just didn't satisfy my need for food. I managed to get down to about 180lb after a month and a half, fell off the wagon and soon I was back where I started.
Cue a month of frustrated "WHY AM I NOT LOSING WEIGHT" - spoken through a mouthful of whatever I was craving at the time.
Then my boyfriend very, very gently asked me what I was actually doing to lose weight. I realised I hadn't changed anything. Checked out this sub, started CICO properly (1200 per day) by actually weighing out my food and planning my meals and snacks in the morning. Started running, gave up running, and started walking. Moved on to some 7 minute HIIT workouts and then some weights training. Lo and behold, it actually works!
I've read so many tips here and wanted to put some in, just in case anyone reads this and I can help them.
1) If you need it, especially if you have a history of disordered eating like me, it can be so so good to have someone who loves you keep you accountable. I did NOT want to go back to my bingeing or my starving phases. I got MyFitnessPal, added bf as a friend on it, and stayed completely honest logging my calories and my weight. Just having the thought that it would make him sad and worried if he saw I was only eating 800 calories a day helped. This might not work for everyone, but it really did work for me.
2) Try to have fun with weight loss. I have since stopped running because I just HATE it. But I love walking - I struggle on days where I don't go for one now. And the weight lifting was like a revelation - I feel stronger and sexier than I ever have. Me and bf have little power pose competitions in the kitchen when we cook just to crack each other up. Eat the healthy food that tastes and looks amazing, try new things, cook with the people you love and make a mess. It will make you feel happier and that makes change so much more sustainable.
3) Protein, protein, protein. And fat is far more filling and satisfying than carbs for me, so I try to keep my carbs low to let myself have that extra bit of mayonnaise or cheese. Just see what works best for you.
4) One I haven't seen here much - living with people who eat more than you is so hard. There will be tempting food everywhere, they will cook something that looks like pure heaven compared to your salad and chicken. I handled this by making sure our food was ready at the same time, maaaybe taking one forkful of theirs, and then eating mine making sure to utterly savour the flavours and finish eating after them. As long as your food tastes good, it is in fact better because it is healthier and its what your body needs right now.
And make one small space for the snacks, high up/out of sight/behind something boring/difficult to move. I am a lazy enough person that physical obstacles actually make me think about what I'm doing. That way, my brain actually activates - is there a healthier choice here? Am I actually hungry or am I just bored? Do I have the space to fit this snack into my day?
5) A slightly silly one - The Emergency Egg. For me, having a hard boiled egg around stopped so much spontaneous snacking. I kept one in my bag at Uni (postgrad now) for when the bored studying hunger got to me, I bring one to work for when I start reaching for the biscuit tin, I keep a little stock in the fridge at home to help prevent procrastination snacking. It is a boring enough snack that I feel no need to binge on them, but filling, tasty, cheap and full of protein. Find your Emergency EggTM and use it for snacking emergencies today!
I know my weight might have started lower than many people on here, so our challenges will not be the same. But I think we're all familiar with the Stuck And Unhappy Rut, and I just want to say that ANY positive change you can make is so worth it. Thank you all for being so wonderful and positive, keep up the good work losers! This internet stranger believes in you!
TL:DR: Did the things (CICO, exercise). The things worked. Find your emergency egg.
