Hi there, I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this issue. I've been with my husband for 14 years, we have 2 small kids. We've had our better and worse times but we've always been a great team. I was overweight or slightly obese when we met, went through massive weight fluctuations throughout the years (health issues), my highest BMI was 44, currently it's 22 at 5'5" and 130 (though there might be some loose skin and/or muscle involved, I admittedly look thinner than that, need an XS for most clothes these days)
I've never consciously lost weight before the way I did this time. Husband himself used to be rail thin in his youth and very proud of that, as he aged he has become overweight and he kind of compensates his frustration about that by being absolutely ANTI diet, anti healthy food and exercise, to the point of ridiculousness. He acts like salad is poison and doesn't want me talking to the children about eating veggies like that will give them an eating disorder. He doesn't want to hear ANYthing even faintly related to gym and exercise, he'll roll his eyes and tell me he doesn't want to hear about that crap. Yeah and don't even ask about our love life. The last time I even tried to snuggle up to him while watching TV he pulled a disgusted face and mumbled something about "bones".
The fights about what and how I eat have become constant. He keeps saying that he feels betrayed, like I stole his wife from him, and I get it. This morning we were in a huge fight because I skipped breakfast. He gave me a talking to in front of the kids, and ended with "you've become the opposite of everything... The opposite of the woman I married"
I feel so ashamed all the time, cutting up my veggies alone when he cannot see me, secretly snacking on carrots because I don't want to be judged for what I eat. I find it hard to adjust to my new body, I'm ashamed of the way I look. I miss physical contact to another person so, so much.
And when he said that this morning, for the first time in 14 years I was seriously scared that this relationship might be beyond repair.
I want to stop this development, be a better wife, help him deal with the situation. But he won't decide what I put into my mouth, ever. If you're still with me, thanks for listening, maybe you have some thoughts or experiences that can help me?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2VQp5Cy
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