SW:150/68kg CW: 187lbs/85kg GW:165lbs:75kg I think I am going to give up...I (f21) have been trying to lose weight since I was 14.
I always remember having a stomach I hate and weighing more than I should. I feel like I've been trying forever on and off and just keep gaining weight. I've done 30-day shred, insanity, going vegan, doing keto, intermittent fasting, cardio, swimming, intuitive eating and just plain CICO and I'm honestly disgusted with myself at this point.
There is no reason for it or take this long or be this much of a challenge. I'm trying to be completely honest, every once in a while I binge but I always count the calories and make up for it by fasting or working out more the next day. Every time I eat I feel like I've failed myself, I just want to fast until I reach my goals but every time I try I fail. I can't stand my body and hate that it's getting warmer and I have to wear fewer layers. I know I'm objectively not the worst weight and my body is strong and all of that but at this point, I just want to finally reach and maintain the body I want to have.
Right now My Fitbit says I go through about 2400-2800 per day with walking and working. And even though I track my calories and calculate my supposed weight loss, my weight goes up and down and I am losing motivation. I've lost some inches but I barely see any progress anymore. I've been on a diet doing CICO and IF every day and low carb (<100g) on weekdays. This is what i've figured out right now as I am unable to prepare food for myself and where I am doesn't have many low carb options. I'm honestly not sure where to go from here. The more I research it the more confusing it all gets. I'm mostly confused about the BMR and the need to eat at that level. I've been usually aiming to eat less than 1200/day but discovered I should eat something like 1600. I'm terrified to eat this much as I don't want to lose any progress I may have made. I don't know when I gained this weight though I must have eaten more than I burned at some point I honestly only ever remember dieting so I guess I've just been undercounting all of my calories and I don't want to start intentionally eating more and go over. Last year, I had a kitchen scale and cooked with that to truly control my calories in, but I'm on a temporary relocation for work right now and didn't bring it as I don't even have a kitchen to cook in.
I'm just tired of trying. My friends are just thin and eat without calculating or worrying about calories or any of that. I want that so badly. I hate myself for letting this go on for so long.
So if anyone can just tell me simply what to do I'll do it. I have 11 weeks left where I am right now and the work is exhausting and it's hot. The gym is not financially feasible but I can rent bikes and cycle around the town for 1hr a day for free. I've been doing yoga every morning for 30 minutes for the past 2 months and am going to start incorporating bodyweight workouts at home. If I don't figure it out this time I'll find a dietician or personal trainer or something when I get back to my town. And if I can't figure it out by December I'm gonna just going to give up on losing the weight.
If you want to help (thanks so much) Let me know if there is anything at all I should be doing differently or if you need more information. I think I mostly just want to rant to someone who isn't tired of hearing me talk about how I'm finally going to lose the weight. I know this isn't meant to be a kind of free diet planning service so I would be truly humbled to get any advice at all. Thanks for reading and for coming to my Ted talk.
(I tried to include photos but I don't know how to put it in)
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/2WFk2W9
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