F 5’3 SW:167 CW:153 GW:140
Some food for thought:
A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I visited his one friend and his wife to watch a sporting event on TV. At the time, I had thought I was getting heavier. This is before I really weight myself and kept track, but you know how your jeans are just a smidge too tight and you look just slightly bigger in the mirror? I guess it was denial because I was really trying to convince myself that I didn’t gain that much weight, maybe one or two pounds, but hey who’s counting?
The four of us were sitting on the couch, enjoying the game while also in light conversation. The husband eventually looked at me and said, “You know, (wife’s name) used to be as big as you. Weren’t you as big as her when we started dating?” He said it so casually and no one else in the room batted an eye, that I was almost in disbelief - was that offensive or was it totally just me?
His wife chimes in and, after taking a good look at me, says, “Mhmm, maybe just a little bit bigger.” And proceeded to show me her old license photo vs her new one.
I kept quiet the rest of the game. After we left, I was wondering if my boyfriend would say something, but he didn’t - either because he didn’t think it was offensive or he forgot. I really didn’t want to mention to him how uncomfortable that made me feel. They were both very good friends of ours (we refer to their daughter as our niece) and we do activities and double-dates together. Besides, the way that he said it, I don’t think it was meant to be mean. It came off more as stating a fact. I don’t even think he realized it was an asshole thing to say. Brag all you want about your wife’s weight loss, but keep me out of it. I just think that he wasn’t thinking and just blurted it out.
I hit the gym the next day. I started tracking everything I ate, counting calories, including fruits, veggies, and proteins as the main parts of my diet. The weight starting coming off.
To be fair, I never really thought I was much bigger than the wife. We were talking about jeans and she showed me the newest American Eagle jeans she bought - a size 8. I’m a size 10 in American Eagle. So not a drastic difference.
I kept that comment in the back of my head - “as big as you” every time I lost motivation. I’m not quite where I want to be, but I’m getting happier with myself. And more importantly - I’m eating healthier. No more soda, no more fast food, I try to not eat foods high in sodium, no more junk food. If I do crack, it’s one Oreo instead of four. My diet has significantly improved and I feel better - I have more energy and I more awake.
Today, I was with the wife. She had ran to the store and came back with 2 boxes of White Castle sliders. Two sliders are 340 calories. She had 3, totaling 510 calories for these itty bitty things - plus a small bag of BBQ chips. I’ve began paying attention to her other eating habits - 2 slices of very oily pizza for lunch, always has a Coca Cola in hand, eats donuts and honeybuns for breakfast. Every time we visited their house at dinner time, they were eating Taco Bell or wings and fries. Or more pizza, lots of pizza. Hardly any veggies in their fridge and no fruit. Their daughter eats honeybuns (sometimes yogurts, I’ll give them that) for breakfast and I saw her eating Doritos for breakfast the other morning. She’s 1.
They’re both also major smokers. Their relationship has been very rocky lately and, I think due to the stress, she lost tons of weight. But just because you’re losing weight and you’re a smaller pant size than me does not mean you’re healthier than me. I’m eating with veggies and my fruits and my proteins, avoiding too many carbs and sugars and too much sodium.
I’ll take my size 10 jeans and healthier eating habits over a smoking addiction, a fast food addiction, and a soda addiction and being a size 8 any day.
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