Saturday, March 7, 2020

Kindness can be demoralizing

I've only recently started doing my weight loss again and I had to do one of the worst things someones that's overweight can do...I had to take a flight. Now I'm big, i'm 6'3" with broad shoulders and my scale hasn't arrived in the mail yet but i estimate around 310lbs. However I can carry it pretty well and people are always shocked when the realize how heavy I actually am. Now while i'm big, I don't leak out of my seat on a plane. My fat isn't under or on the arm rest, i feel as if there are invisible walls protecting my own and other peoples personal space so my fat stays within it.

But then people have to be jerks and become good people. the couple beside me switched so the smaller girl was next to me to give me more room, she offered to put the arm rest up and after the seat belt sign went on, the flight attendant found a spot with two empty seats for me to occupy to have more space.

I knew my flight wasn't going to be easy, i've been the big person on a plane before, even bigger than I am now. I just really didn't expect that niceness would be the thing that i felt most unsatisfying. I was happy that I fit, I was cramped but it was a personal victory to be able to sit there, no matter how uncomfortable I was and know that I can stay still for 2 hours and just bother no one.

Obviously I'm not actually upset with anyone, i would 100% do the exact same thing if the roles were reversed. It just that situation happening at this specific time that actually demoralized me for my flight home.

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Friend takes a with me or against me position on weight loss

I was wondering if anyone has been in a similar position. I have a friend who has achieved a remarkable weight loss. She's been able to lose over 150 pounds, reversed multiple health issues and has completely changed her life health and fitness wise. It's an amazing accomplishment and I am both proud of her and happy for her.

Here's where our conflict arises. She is following a keto lifestyle with great success, but can not accept that others aren't interested in keto or can lose weight not following keto (i.e. me). Let me preface the rest of what I am saying with I'm not anti keto. I'm very much in the "you do you" category. I will say keto isn't for me. Emotionally, severe food restriction leads to an obsession, binge, failed plan .Physiologically, I have ulcerative colitis and a high fat diet, even with the healthy fats, makes me miserable/feel very sick. So, I've done CICO, cleaned up my eating and focused on staying in a calorie range. I've been able to lose 78 pounds as of this morning, take control of some health issues (borderline high blood pressure, prediabetic) and I'm very happy

I don't feel that my friend is happy for me though. She always lectures me about the need to go keto. Of course by cleaning up my diet, I've functionally reduced my carbs, switched to better carbs, and limited my sugar intake. I do however plan, measure and eat some servings of carbs regularly. I also plan/budget for the occasional treat (ice cream with the family, favorite meal at a restaurant, piece of birthday cake) and this puts my friend in a frenzy. It's so "wrong" to her and I really don't enjoy the constant lecturing.

Ultimately, I don't get this with me or against me view. I think weight loss does boil down to a calorie deficit but how you arrive at that deficit is individual. We have different personalities, different lifestyles and different bodies. I would think a friend who knows the work it takes to lose weight would just be happy for me and not feel the need to "convert" me. Anyone been through something like this?

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I got really drunk last night... And I told all my friends EVERYTHING

So I haven't gotten drunk since new years and last night I was just in the mood to get absolutely wasted and dance the night away (which I did) however in the course of doing that I shared everything about my weight loss with my closest friends.

I recently found out that the suit I wore to my high school prom is so big on me that me and my mother can both fit into it at the same time haha so I was sharing that fun anecdote and it just went from there. I also got to a point where I showed them my progress pictures which was a scary one haha.

Honestly it felt amazing. I'm so glad I did that. I've been losing steadily since January last year and sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind be I struggle to see it so much but to have all my closest friends confirm they've noticed it and are proud of me... It makes it all the more worth it.

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Day 1? Starting your weight loss journey on Saturday, 07 March 2020? Start here!

Today is your Day 1?

Welcome to r/Loseit!

So you aren’t sure of how to start? Don’t worry! “How do I get started?” is our most asked question. r/Loseit has helped our users lose over 1,000,000 recorded pounds and these are the steps that we’ve found most useful for getting started.

Why you’re overweight

Our bodies are amazing (yes, yours too!). In order to survive before supermarkets, we had to be able to store energy to get us through lean times, we store this energy as adipose fat tissue. If you put more energy into your body than it needs, it stores it, for (potential) later use. When you put in less than it needs, it uses the stored energy. The more energy you have stored, the more overweight you are. The trick is to get your body to use the stored energy, which can only be done if you give it less energy than it needs, consistently.

Before You Start

The very first step is calculating your calorie needs. You can do that HERE. This will give you an approximation of your calorie needs for the day. The next step is to figure how quickly you want to lose the fat. One pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories. So to lose 1 pound of fat per week you will need to consume 500 calories less than your TDEE (daily calorie needs from the link above). 750 calories less will result in 1.5 pounds and 1000 calories is an aggressive 2 pounds per week.

Tracking

Here is where it begins to resemble work. The most efficient way to lose the weight you desire is to track your calorie intake. This has gotten much simpler over the years and today it can be done right from your smartphone or computer. r/loseit recommends an app like MyFitnessPal, Loseit! (unaffiliated), or Cronometer. Create an account and be honest with it about your current stats, activities, and goals. This is your tracker and no one else needs to see it so don’t cheat the numbers. You’ll find large user created databases that make logging and tracking your food and drinks easy with just the tap of the screen or the push of a button. We also highly recommend the use of a digital kitchen scale for accuracy. Knowing how much of what you're eating is more important than what you're eating. Why? This may explain it.

Creating Your Deficit

How do you create a deficit? This is up to you. r/loseit has a few recommendations but ultimately that decision is yours. There is no perfect diet for everyone. There is a perfect diet for you and you can create it. You can eat less of exactly what you eat now. If you like pizza you can have pizza. Have 2 slices instead of 4. You can try lower calorie replacements for calorie dense foods. Some of the communities favorites are cauliflower rice, zucchini noodles, spaghetti squash in place of their more calorie rich cousins. If it appeals to you an entire dietary change like Keto, Paleo, Vegetarian.

The most important thing to remember is that this selection of foods works for you. Sustainability is the key to long term weight management success. If you hate what you’re eating you won’t stick to it.

Exercise

Is NOT mandatory. You can lose fat and create a deficit through diet alone. There is no requirement of exercise to lose weight.

It has it’s own benefits though. You will burn extra calories. Exercise is shown to be beneficial to mental health and creates an endorphin rush as well. It makes people feel awesome and has been linked to higher rates of long term success when physical activity is included in lifestyle changes.

Crawl, Walk, Run

It can seem like one needs to make a 180 degree course correction to find success. That isn’t necessarily true. Many of our users find that creating small initial changes that build a foundation allows them to progress forward in even, sustained, increments.

Acceptance

You will struggle. We have all struggled. This is natural. There is no tip or trick to get through this though. We encourage you to recognize why you are struggling and forgive yourself for whatever reason that may be. If you overindulged at your last meal that is ok. You can resolve to make the next meal better.

Do not let the pursuit of perfect get in the way of progress. We don’t need perfect. We just want better.

Additional resources

Now you’re ready to do this. Here are more details, that may help you refine your plan.

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The neck after major weight loss.

Hi! As I head closer to my major goal. (5lbs away!) of 164 I am starting to become a bit discouraged. I have lost 195lbs. My body looks pretty good for losing this much. My stomach is ok. My thighs are a war zone that is whatever. My arms suck but hey I've always liked long sleeves. My biggest issue.. My neck. I have a major turkey neck. I feel from my side profile I look the same as I did at 364lbs. Maybe a bit worse. Hell from the front I feel like my neck kind of resembles labia. Ug. I am 30 so probably past my prime of it snapping fully back.

Has anyone had success of it looking better with time? I feel if I lose maybe 20 or 30 more it will help it even more? What experiences do you guys have with neck skin?

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Friday, March 6, 2020

Day 4. Going annoyingly well today.

The last time I had to lose a lot of weight, it probably took about a month of low calorie dieting before I'd really feel myself being full.

I had to leave Vietnam today to renew my Visa and I fly back tonight. I thought since I'm only going for a day and flying to Thailand anyway, I'd get some food. I really love authentic Thai food so I was actually looking forward to this for a week. I had a little pho this morning which is pretty common for a quick breakfast (around 400 calories) and then some banh mi (sandwich) and a coffee at the airport before my flight.

I'm a little saddened to be sitting at the airport in Bangkok, having walked past so many nice looking meals and not having the appetite to eat any of them. I still have most of the afternoon before my flight departs so hopefully I can walk around enough to build up an appetite for one small meal.

The takeaway that i can see here is that there is always going to be things that tempt us while we lose weight, not all of it is going to be things we have to say no to, but we need to do our best to plan around them so these nice little treats are just apart of our weight loss plans and not a set back.

Hope everyone is having a good day. I need to try to get around 20000 steps in for an appetite so I can Chow down on some pad Thai before I leave.

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How do I just live a less sedentary life?

I'm not really interested in massive weight loss or anything (I want to be happy with how I am, not hate it so much that I'm working towards the model figure I'll never get), but I'm well aware that I live a sedentary lifestyle. Since my last season of marching band (Sr in high school, sport or not, marching band can be an effective workout) I've gained over 40 pounds, and so I've tried to cut back on my bad eating habits, but I also know full well that that won't do much for me in terms of actually losing weight, just that it will keep me from gaining more.

The problem is that I live a sedentary lifestyle, and that needs to change, I just don't know how. I've had periods in the past where I've gone to the gym, but I've never been able to keep it up for more than a month or two, mostly because I just hated it. Not even just the actual workout part, but I hate feeling like I'm competing, looking around me and seeing either ripped studs or people that are running 15 miles as their warm-up. It also became a matter of priorities. Most of the time, due to my work schedule, I would have to do my workouts late at night. The problem is that if I have anything that needs to get done before the next day, then that takes precedence over the workout.

I know the "I don't have time" excuse is bullshit, but the problem is that the time I do have is very intermittent. I need to find a way to keep myself active during the time I have in the day, without feeling like it's just a workout. I'm trying hard to avoid the idea that "I don't want it to really be a workout," because at the end of the day you don't lose weight by not working out. The part I'm struggling with is finding an activity that 1) fits within my variable schedule, and 2) is less of a workout and more of an activity with an attainable goal in the short term (a game, etc.). Thankfully in about six months I'll be moving to a busy city where walking everywhere is basically how you get around, and I think that will help change my general day to day lifestyle, but it also isn't a substitute for full physical activity. What I am looking for is something that I want to do during the day, and something I would be sad to leave.

Like I said, I can live with being a bit tubby, I want to love myself first. What I can't live with is knowing that I'm gaining weight and just let it keep going until I run into serious problems with my health. I already find myself unable to keep up with some things my friends are doing, and it is a little embarrassing sometimes. That's the part I can't stand by and watch idly.

Suggestions?

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