Question: what to do when you are tired of the journey?

RANT: I've been fat my whole life, in one year I lost 10kg but in the last 4 years my weight skyrocket and I gained 30kg. I restarted my loosing weight journey in the last year, but being honest I'm tired. I lost 5kg in the last months but they all came back, my exams are ok, I have a nutritionist, I exercise but it just seems that it doesn't work for me. I know I'm doing something wrong I'm just feeling tired of fighting against my weight all the time and being in the same place. QUESTION: What do you usually do when you want to give up of your weight loss journey?

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Intimidated by the long road ahead.

Hey all. I've been a lurker of this subreddit for a while now, and since I have nobody to talk to about what's been weighing on my mind, I've decided to share here in hopes that I can get some recognition, advice, words of encouragement or whatever.

My story is kind of a long one so bear with me.

I honestly can't remember a time in my life when I wasn't fat. I've made countless attempts to lose weight and all of them ended in failure. 2019 was when I made my best attempt as I lost 60 lbs, but alas, I ended up gaining it all back and then some in 2020. And in 2020, I knew damn well I was gaining the weight back because I was eating to cope with feelings of loneliness, boredom, uncertainty and sadness, so I didn't care how much or what kind of food I was consuming as long as it tasted good and gave me a sensation of fullness. I avoided the scale like the plague during this time, I just didn't want to deal with the reality that I was undoing all of the progress I made the year before. I mean, of course I knew I was, but seeing an exact number on the scale to find out to what extent would have actually been truly eye-opening and would have crushed me.

I continued to eat emotionally and recklessly throughout 2021. Late 2021, I became a victim of a crime (I'd rather not go into specifics here) and became hospitalized as a result of it. I needed surgery. I couldn't function on my own. And I was already depressed beforehand, and what I went through exacerbated my depression. Once I was discharged from the hospital, I could function better, but I still wasn't fully independent. As you might have guessed, food was my source of comfort while I was recovering, so I ate emotionally and recklessly throughout 2022 as well.

Before one of my surgeries, my surgeon informed me that I was over 300 lbs, and I was kind of shocked but not really? On one hand, I never thought I'd reach such a high number, but on the other hand, I had a feeling that things have gotten that bad because I could hardly fit into any of my clothes anymore and I was breaking furniture in my home just by sitting on them. So, hearing that was definitely unsettling, but I was somewhat relieved to finally know an actual number. He advised that I change my diet soon, but I didn't. Not then.

2023, I'm fully independent now, I've been in therapy, and on March 12th I started a new weight loss/self-improvement journey. My starting weight was 332 lbs. I weighed myself on April 23rd and my weight was 305.2 lbs. I weighed myself a couple of days ago on May 23rd and much to my chagrin my weight was 301.6 lbs. Meaning, I only managed to lose about 4 lbs when I was hoping to have lost more than that (FYI, I don't weigh myself regularly. I don't want to get too caught up in numbers because I know I'll let it affect my mood and determine how I feel about myself and what day I'm going to have).

So, right now, I'm feeling discouraged, scared, hopeless, depressed, etc. I have a lot of fat to lose, and I know complaining about it won't make me lose weight any faster, I know I didn't gain all of the weight overnight so I'm not going to lose it all overnight, I know my ideal body is a long game, yadda yadda yadda...I just have to get my emotions out somewhere. I'm disappointed that things panned out this way, that I let things get this far and I feel so alone because nobody in my life can really relate to me. I don't feel heard or seen by anybody in my life, honestly. My weight has always been my main insecurity. I never felt comfortable or confident in my own skin. Whenever I'm among people at a gathering or party or some social event, I'm afraid to be social. I don't think anybody would take me seriously or talk to me like a human being because I'm so fat. And I was ostracized and bullied and tease for being fat in school which ruined my self-esteem. I'm disgusted by what I see when I look in the mirror. And I just resent that it'll most likely be years before I get to where I want to be.

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Developed an App to Aid My Own Weight Loss Journey and It's Been a Game-Changer

Hey everyone,

Like many of us here, I've been navigating my way through my own weight loss journey. One aspect that was consistently tricky was managing my calorie intake, especially when ordering food or grabbing a bite outside.

As a software developer myself, I thought I could create something to help me. This led me to develop an app called Snappetite - the concept is pretty simple, take a picture of your meal, and the app gives you a calorie estimation. I know there are some apps out there that do the same but I either they were too expensive, didn't give me good results or both.

Honestly, it's made a huge difference for me, especially in making me more aware of what I'm eating. I wanted to share it here because it might help some of you too. It's out there on iOS (https://apps.apple.com/us/app/snappetiteapp/id6448838524) and Android (https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.app.snappetite&pli=1). Obviously it's free and doesn't require any account creation.

If any of you give it a try, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts or if there are other apps that you've found helpful on this journey.

Thanks!

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Should I?

Pre-July 2022 my daily calorie intake included around 500 calories in the early hours, 700 calories around lunch and 1000-1500 in the evening hours. My height was and is 168 cm/5'6 and my weight was around 70 kg/150 lbs. I cut it down to 0 calories in the early hours, 300 calories around lunch and 1000-1500 in the evening hours.

After 2/3 months I got down to 60 kg/130 lbs. Since then my diet got a little less strict with around 500 calories around morning to lunch but my weight didn't change. Today I got this sudden idea of cutting down those calories too which will lead to some kind of a weight loss too. Should I do it?

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Anyone else wish weight loss would be linear or just me?

I just hate how you never lose weight linearly. It's always water that ruins your morning when you are waiting for whoosh to finally lower your weight. It's little "am I even doing this right" voice in your head despite rigorously counting calories with zero margins of error on your part. It's the shitty scales made by cheap electronics in some factory that can weight you higher weight after pooping which makes absolutely no sense because you haven't eaten or drink anything and somehow gained weight. Then there is libra which should help with those but if you get over a week on plateau suddenly the previous prediction line shoots up which makes you depressed despite knowing all is working but your scale and body fights against you.

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The ritual of eating

Hello fellow adventures. I've been on a slow but steady weight loss journey for a little over a year now; M33 6' SW:240 CW:220 GW:200 and I've really tried to put some focus on my eating habits in relation to my moods. I've noticed that often when something positive happens (i get a big sale at work, i accomplish a particularly tough chore, i have a fun night out with friends) I'll justify a big, unhealthy meal to follow it. Often some crappy fast food with a huge soda that i nearly immediately regret. I love good healthy food, lean meats, nuts and veggies, but i find the satisfaction of pairing an accomplishment with a splurge is addicting. Does anyone have similar habits/feelings? And if so, what steps do you take to curb the urge?

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Fitness apps for number-motivated people

I feel like I may be low-key addicted to the dopamine of seeing my HappyScale chart go down month after month. I was considering shifting my end goal weight, but I think it'll be healthier for me to try to sit in maintenance, see how I feel, and start trying to get genuinely fit and not just "skinny".

Does anyone have any app recommendations for tracking other forms of fitness that will help me shift my number obsession from scale numbers to different numbers? I love seeing my step count, but its so time consuming to get it up to exciting numbers. I would really like to get into body weight fitness. I've started a bwf primer (from here) so many times and never followed through to the end. Something like that is great, but what kept me going through with my weight loss was putting numbers in apps to see real progress outside of my head. If there was something like that with fitness I feel like I could get super into it!

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