This is so hard. [Day One?]

Hey all, I have no idea if this will be effective for me or not. I don't know why I've never posted before, I've been subbed for years at this point. I don't know where to start, I don't know if anyone will read this, but maybe this post is the spark that will set me on a healthier path.

A bit about me, I'm about 30. A father of two young kids, married. I just finished a doctorate in clinical psychology and work two jobs as a therapist (day job is a therapist at an inpatient hospital, evening work as an outpatient therapist in a medium sized practice). Some of my day includes light walking, but mostly sitting for about an hour at a time. Most days, I work about 12-hours, otherwise I work about 9. I usually work 2-3 hours on Saturday/Sunday. My hobby for the past 3 years as been painting miniatures, which requires minimal activity. I have a gym membership, but fell out of the habit of going.

I've been overweight my whole life (with the exception of when I was 18-19). At the moment, I weight about 260-ish, I'm about 5'9 in height.

The tough part about all this is that I'm very well educated on the science behind both the psychology and the biology of weight loss. I know exactly what I need to do in order to lose the weight.

Thing is, I don't seem to have the willpower or discipline to do it.

Although I'm a psychologist, I don't consider myself a social scientist, I'm a advocate for understanding human behavior through the lens of natural selection, evolution, neurodevelopment, etc. I often tell my clients/patients that the human mind is immensely sensitive to social pressure and I suppose that is what this post is for myself.

This is my plea for help. This is my plea for connection. My wife is a thin woman who doesn't eat much, my entire immediate family is overweight. My mother struggled with bulimia and anorexia almost her entire adult life. My father was a man with horrendous impulse control issues. I have no one to turn to who either understands what I'm going through or understands how to foster a healthy relationship with food and physical activity.

I want to have a healthier relationship with food, but when it comes to developing a plan and then adhering to it, I flounder.

I don't know exactly what I want here... other than, I want to be a part of something bigger than myself. I want to contribute here, I want to slowly adjust a lifelong pattern of behaviors into something that won't see me into an early grave (God damn getting a doctorate takes forever, I swear if I develop some sort of illness in my 30's-40's after sacrificing my 20's I'm going to freak).

At least for now, I think I'll write again tomorrow. If I don't, maybe someone could message me a reminder or some encouragement?

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54 F SW: 170 CW: 155 GW: 145 How do you feel about eating back exercise calories

So....I have finally lost weight, something I have wanted to do for so long but just couldn't get it together. I am 5'7" and was 170 pounds. I have a pretty larger frame, and am now down to 155. I feel great! But the weight loss is so slow now, in fact I have not lost an ounce in 3 weeks. SO FRUSTRATING.

I am really trying to hunker down to get the rest of this weight off. My goal is 145 (which I know seems a little high for my height) but it will be my lowest weight ever in my adult life, and I am 10 pounds from that goal.

I have been losing by just tracking my calories on "lose it". And I have also lowered my carb intake, and am exercising more....oh an I cut out my nightly glass of wine.

My question is this: If I work out - let's say run 3 miles on the treadmill - should I log that and take the calories that it gives me back? For example, today I did just that, I ran 3 miles, and the lose it app adds 250 ish caloiries back into my daily allotment. I am only eating 1200/day - so the extra 250 that running gives me makes a huge difference in my day. But then I wonder if that is why I am not losing - and am in this prolonged plateau state.

The other thing I am doing - is tracking every single bite to make sure I am on track.

Thanks for any advice!!

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Maintaining but still eating at a caloric deficit?

Hey! I’ve been on a weight loss journey for a while now, in the past few weeks I’ve been on a new-ish plan and I track my calories very closely and I’ve lost 6kg in 4 weeks. In the past few days my weight has stalled at 104.4 kg even though I’m eating the same amount (still at a caloric deficit), and it’s getting really frustrating! I know at the start you can lose a lot of water and stuff and then it slows, but it honestly doesn’t make sense to me that at a 500-1000calorie deficit I would be losing NOTHING. I know it will be something like hormones or weight fluctuations but I just need a reassurance that my weight will continue going down 😂😊

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Best Friends and Worst Enemies of Weight Loss

I've been working hard to identify what helps me lose weight and maintain focus on healthy lifestyle changes. In doing so, I've identified some things that have progressed my weight loss and others that have hindered it and wanted to share my "best friend" and "worst enemy" and would love to hear yours!

• My Worst Enemy: DELUSION

"I'm not that big." "I deserve a treat." "At least I don't look as fat as her."

When I came home for winter break my first year in college, I had gained 25 pounds. The number on the scale shocked me so much that I honestly didn't believe it. For the next 4 years I lived in hateful defiance of mirrors, scales, and candid photos. I'd step on the scale once in a blue moon and hate myself but think "I certainly don't look like I'm 50 pounds overweight." I started incorporating some elliptical in my daily routine then be livid when my weight wasn't plunging immediately saying things like "even if I don't change what I'm eating, adding the exercise should do something!" I had a basic understanding of cico but had no idea how little exercise actually does for weight loss without a diet change. Everything around me was pointing to the fact that I was obese, but I just couldn't let myself believe it. "BMI is bullshit obviously... I mean do I look obese?" (spoiler alert, yeah... I really fucking did). My ex and I would do dumb things like the GM diet and stick with it for a couple days then binge on fast food to completely undo our small deficits. I remember making progress for a few days then getting livid that one cheat meal at Mcdonald's undid a week's worth of weight loss (didn't understand water weight), which prompted me to give up entirely. Eventually I made the commitment to actively change my lifestyle in October of 2017, but the scary thing is, delusion is still an active enemy of mine. As I watch my breasts turn into pancakes and my arms grow flappy, saggy wings, I realized that I still haven't come to terms with how big I was. I never thought I would have loose skin because "I wasn't that big." In recognizing this enemy and admitting its ability to remain active, I plan to stay vigilant in my fight against delusion.

• My Best Friend: MINDFULNESS

During my worst binges, my brain feels like its being controlled by a poorly calibrated auto-pilot system set on course to self sabotage. On my best days, I feel in control of my actions and let the unhelpful thoughts pass me by with ease. Every time I successfully lose weight, it always correlates with a clear headspace, and while I can't force myself into that headspace all the time, I can be mindful of the thoughts passing through my brain telling me to binge on pizza and wine and choose not to let them control me. I never used to be able to survive a weekend without ruining most of the week's progress, but all of a sudden it became doable by simply living in the moment. Don't get me wrong, mindfulness can be really difficult (see today's tantrum post) and I have to remind myself constantly to maintain it, but it's been the most effective weight loss tool by a landslide, and funny enough is the best thing to battle delusion. By being more conscious of my thoughts, I can actually identify my delusions to ensure they don't start becoming my subconscious truths.

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Do you lose weight faster if you’ve lost it before?

Ok so hear me out In 2017-2018, I went from 175 to my goal weight of around 125 by counting calories, religiously keeping track of my Fitbit TDEE and running (a lot).

After I met my goal, I was super sick of counting calories and felt a bit obsessed so backed off and read about intuitive eating. I realized though that through tracking my TDEE for so long, I already had a pretty good idea of what my hunger cues are, and how much food I need to stay satisfied. I stabilized around 130-135 and it really didn’t change much for over a year. I wasn’t counting calories at all but I was weighing myself, wearing a fitbit to mostly just keep an eye on how active I am because I tend to be really low activity if I’m not keeping track. Still I wasn’t working out a ton. I had a lot of indulgent days which I’d usually follow up with a few days of healthier eating. I had just a decent grip on food and wasn’t thinking about dieting or food, really, at all. My weight was extremely stable at an average of about 133 lbs.

Okay so fast forward to about six months ago, I fell into a cycle of major depression and mental health issues. I started to eat (and drink) quite a lot. It was comforting and I was angry- so any thoughts of counting calories or trying to be responsible about it also felt uncomfortable. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get into that mindset again. I stopped wearing my Fitbit, or really going to the gym. I gained 10-15 lbs. Honestly I was in an extremely dark place and I’m just glad I’m here today. In October, things started to turn around for me. I’d already been trying to put in the work and one day things just started making sense again. My life has improved quite a lot in the last month - I have a future plan, I’m motivated, and I understand what I’m working for!

So the beginning of Nov (the 5th), I realized I was ready to get healthy again. I weighed in at 145 lbs. Since then, I’ve been going to the gym, trying to hit at least a -500 deficit on my Fitbit and eating around 1500 cals a day.

Aaaaaand my weight today is 133.8. Already. I really don’t get it. It’s not like my weight jumped to 145 after one week of bad eating, I watched the scale steadily climb for 6 months. Don’t get me wrong, NOT complaining but I really don’t understand the science of this at all and I’m wondering if anyone has an explanation? Is my body just incredibly used to being at this weight?

I definitely was expecting some water weight loss btw! but not 12 lbs worth, I’m already fairly low body fat % so that seems quite extreme.

I’m just going to keep going and get back down to my low goal now but I’m so curious about the science behind this. Has anyone else gained back weight only to lose it again much quicker than before?

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Discouraged

I am feeling pretty disappointed. I have been logging my food for 15 days and for the most part keeping at 1200. Even the days when I had pizza and alcohol. I mentioned before that I was bloated and went from 157 to 163 in 3 days and was told that it probably was water weight.

Fast forward to today - I did have alcohol again over the weekend. I am now at 161, which is great. I'd like to be able to drink on the weekend (even if it's just Friday), indulge in my pizza once a week and still lose weight. Is that even possible?

I know weight loss isn't linear and it's not fast or overnight. I've also been exercising 5 days a week. I don't know what to do. Last time I tried to lose weight I lost 5 pounds in 2 weeks and now in 2 weeks, I've only lost 2pounds.

Any tips, encouragement or anything would be appreciated.

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Numbers on the scale haven't moved in 2 weeks. I'm getting a little concerned.

So I lost 23lbs from the beginning of September until now. I've hovered around 274lbs for the past two weeks, and I'm still eating at a deficit. Most of the time I'm eating below the calories set by MFP for a 2lb weight loss at a light activity level (I lift 3x a week, do cardio 3x a week on days I don't lift).

I dunno, I'm probably just freaking out since I saw such rapid weight loss and particularly the number on the scale go down so much in the past two and a half months, that I'm worried I'm not making progress anymore. I have gotten stronger, my bench is up 45lbs, my squat is up 85lbs, and my deadlift is up 100lbs. I also just started taking creatine to help get my lifts up, since I'm kinda stalling on them as well.

I guess I just need some reassurance that I'm not screwing up. I hit anywhere between 1800 and 2000 calories a day, and when I do cardio, I don't eat the extra calories allotted to me by MFP. I hope I'll get past this soon! I wanna get rid of all this fat!

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