A bit of background, she was told she had non alcoholic fatty liver disease and needs to lose weight, eat low carbs, change diet, etc. This was about 3 weeks ago. So we started a diet together, she was 304, and in the first 2 weeks she lost almost 20 lbs. I have been cooking dinners, helping her with her diet, trying to stay around 1,200 calories and low carb. I keep telling her that her previous "crash dieting" of eating 800 calories is dangerous and she did this for several days. I told her it isn't healthy. Anyway, she has gained back 5-7 lbs in the last week on 1100-1200 and low carb, low fat, but quite a bit of protein.
Now she is telling me how I am wrong and she needs to eat lower calories than 1,200. For the record, she gained weight even on her 800 calories for 5 days straight as well. For the record before she started this 1,200 diet, she ate about 3500 a day to maintain her weight at 304. I don't know how to get through to her. She has dieted lots before but she always basically starved herself, and when at any point she started to eat normal, her weight would fly back up. I fear the fact that she isn't getting instant results on the scale and the weight going up is making her want to quit and start starving herself. I am trying to be supportive but she keeps telling me how wrong I am and that I don't know what I am talking about.
Am I wrong to assume that weight gain in the beginning of a weight loss is perfectly normal? I am trying to explain to her that she could be gaining fluids, etc, or that her body is adjusting to the 30+ of weight, and that it takes time to start seeing results, but she wants results now, and I feel like that is what is setting her up for relapsing or even going down an unhealthy diet route.
Any advice? She hates me right now and doesn't want to talk to me. I just feel like I am doing my best to help her by making sure we have the right foods and meals, and yet, she hates me for it, and now is blaming me. I said some mean things to her out of frustration, and I regret it, but I am also losing weight during this period and she hates me for it too. We eat pretty much the same stuff, but I've actually being dieting for 10 months now so my body has had time to adjust. I went from 168 to 138 (I am a short dude, only 5'2") but she hates that I am not gaining weight like she is, but this has been an almost year process for me. My body has slowly adjusted already. But she is in the first few weeks, and I feel like she will only be happy if she loses 5-10 lbs a week. The weight gain has totally turned her around into optimistic to completely pessimistic and I don't know what to do. Our dinners are already low cal, low fat, low carb. I don't want to end up going down an unhealthy weight loss path with her. I think 1,200 should be a good goal, and her doctor also told her to eat that amount, so I assume that's a good goal. Not under, right? I have 13 lbs left to lose, and I totally get she has more weight, but 10 months ago I was classed as obese and it has taken time. I think this whole weight loss journey takes time, or rebounds can happen.
So how can I support her without being labeled "don't know what I am talking about" and "you're making me gain weight" sort of stuff....because it's hard to support her when she is projecting all the blame on me. 10 months ago, I get it, I was on a total emotional roller coaster, but I tried not to get too upset when things went south. I just had to mentally tell myself, it happens, and my body will figure itself out when the right foods go into my body. And I admit, I am finding it hard to understand why she can't be more positive about this... I hate hearing the "I'm about to give it..." every day now. I don't know what to say in response, other than "don't! this is normal... your body needs to figure itself out on this new diet.. weight gain is probably normal" but it goes right out the other ear.
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