Help! Lost weight before, started BED and am at my highest weight now…

So, a couple years ago I was at my lowest weight ever, and to be fair, I think I took it to an extreme and should have stopped the cut earlier. Back in January 2021 i started MFP for the first time, and I was eating 1450 calories every day. I was scared i would overeat so I tracked everything. Like i put in my omega 3 capsules and things like gum. But I also was working out 5x/week, and didn’t want MCP to overestimate how many calories I burned. So my deficit was definetely too big. I was thinking about food way too much, i lost my period for 3 months, but I was not even seeing any of these things at the moment. I was also super stressed out with a bunch of things that were happening that summer. And in a way, being able to control the food became something I could control, in a lot of ways one of the only things I could control. I didn’t realize my eating behaviour was becoming disordered, until it swung back big time. I know the term starvation mode is overused, etc., but the only way I could describe to myself what happened was that my body was literally in starvation mode. The reason I say that is because I vacate super fixated on food. Still counting calories etc., but never feeling satisfied. And then the binging began. I developed BED. At the end of the year until April 2022 I was free from it, but then I relapsed and have been battling on and off with it. Struggling pretty badly again since January. I decided to not care about restricting food and just focus on my mental health for a while, but it’s hard. I don’t know what the best thing to do is. I am worried about my mental and physical health. I still try to maintain my healthy habits as much as I can but I am back to my pre-weight loss weight. According to BMI I am back in the overweight BMI category, and I see and feel the difference. I used to be so much fitter. Now I cannot do the workouts like I used to. I have to pause and do them at my own pace. I am disappointed, unsatisfied with my body, and not sure how to change it. I want change. But I’m also terrified bc of my ED history. Has anyone gone through this? How did you get out? I am so sick and tired of this. It’s the weight, it also all the other things that are in my way now. I just want to be healthy, mentally and physically.

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Allowing Myself to Eat at Maintenance

I'm still in the very early stages of my weight loss journey, I'm about a week in (on this go around anyway lol). I started around 293 and am sitting at 287 as of this morning. In the past, if I ate over my calorie budget I'd say screw it, and eat anything and everything I wanted, and that would be that. The past couple of days I've been ravenous, thanks to PMS symptoms, and I held strong yesterday. But today, I decided to give myself some grace and am eating at maintenance instead of completely blowing my diet out of the water. It feels awesome to be in the state of mind where I know I'll be back on track after this because I'm not beating myself up over it. Looking at it as a life style change and learning to compromise with myself in a healthy and sustainable way is totally new for me, and it feels really good! I know everyone's journey is different, and a small part of me wishes I could be more disciplined, but for me this is more constraint than I've ever shown with a diet so I'm okay with it as of now.

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Wanting to lose weight again

25F | 5'4 | SW: 150 | GW: 120

I started my actual weight loss journey when I was 19 and weighed 198 pounds. I'd been overweight ever since I was a child but once I learned about calories and nutrition, I was able to go down to 142 pounds. This took about two years after which I started maintaining my weight because I didn't seem to be able to stick to a low-calorie diet anymore. I started having binging / ED tendencies, so I figured I was better off eating at maintenance instead of obsessing over weight loss and every single calorie consumed.

I started at university last autumn. I guess all the partying and drinking, and not really putting much effort into eating healthy, has caused my weight to slowly go up to 150 pounds. I'm not too upset about gaining only about 8 pounds but it's definitely a worrying trend that I'd like to tackle.

I have been thinking about going back to calorie counting but due to my kind of perfectionist nature, I'm leaning toward a 1200-calorie diet. I know that realistically this might not be a smart idea because of my ED tendencies, but I feel like my weight loss would be too "slow" if I were to eat, say, 1500 calories a day (because my TDEE is about 1730). I'm also taking long walks every day and I can sometimes walk even up to 3 hours a day. I have been thinking about starting swimming but I'm not entirely sure how effective that is in burning calories and how I could even track calories burned while swimming (and I am also very much a beginner swimmer).

I guess what I'm looking for is advice on how I can realistically lose weight while having these binging tendencies. Should I be eating more than 1200 calories and how much exercise should I be doing daily in order for my weight loss to be effective? I'd appreciate any other advice regarding weight loss / diet as well. Thanks!

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Anyone piled on pounds through grief? I am coming out the other side but I have such a long way to go. Please tell me I can do it!

I lost my Mum in 2021. It has impacted me so hard. To make matters worse I did a 110 mile walk for charity over 6 days to raise money for her hospice in 2022. I was very motivated to keep up the fitness and I was 170lbs then. I got COVID immediately after and after 6 months hit 200 lbs. COVID definitely made it worse as well as comfort eating through grief. I'm now 196 lbs and I feel so much more unhealthy than when I was doing that walk. Got aches and pains everyday when I wake up. I had a bad break up too and struggling with not having kids. It's rough out here.

I'm very, very determined to lose it now. I'm only 37 and I feel 77. It's not ok! Weight loss is really my only goal as well as hanging in there at work. I know it will change my life to get to my goal weight.

I'm doing Michael Mosley's 800 a day diet and I'm from the UK.

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Is it ok to just do cardio at the gym ?

I’m 18 and recently joined a gym. I’m overweight and have elevated cholesterol so my doctor recommended I do cardio to build my heart strength and health back up. I’ve been going to the gym and walking a mile on the treadmill on elevated incline. I have had a lot of these weight loss journeys and what not so I know about weights and all that but this is my first gym membership. I don’t like weights. I don’t like it. If I could do one exercise forever I’d run or walk miles a day on a beach I love cardio. A lot of people say it’s bad to only do cardio. Is it bad for the long term to only do cardio ? I’m trying to add kettle bell exercises in slowly.

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It's more than dieting for me -- it's rehab.

73 year old male, about 5’ 9”. When COVID got well underway, my wife and I quit going to the gym, which we’d been doing about 3 times a week for 12 years. A couple years ago, I developed SI joint instability, which took away my ability to walk very fast or for very far. I put on roughly 25 pounds and lost a lot of strength. I hit bottom on the only day this winter I went skiing (downhill). The first run was sketchy. I stopped several times to catch my breath. It was in the mid 40, and at that temp, if you’re skiing defensively, you’re also pushing lots of snow. My thighs went quickly up in flames.

The second run felt better, and I thought that by the third run, I’d be back on my game. Halfway down the hill on run three, I fell, probably because my legs were shot. I tried to get up using the polls, but quickly gave up on that. Too heavy and no strength. Next, I tried to point my skis downhill and slide off into a stand. I used to be able to do that. But not now. I was about to remove my skis when a guy, probably in his 50s, stopped and offered a hand. He was a big guy, but he couldn’t get me up. Another large guy then skied up behind me offering to assist. It was now a rescue operation, and other skiers were stopping to watch the show. They finally managed to right me and skied off together, having bonded I suppose over their successful joint mission. I skied down carefully to the lodge, dressed, and stumbled to the parking lot, wishing I had a donkey to carry my gear.

That was it. I resolved to get my ass back into shape. I’m not thinking of it as losing weight as much as being in rehab. I’m back to the gym 3 times a week, gradually building up my walking stamina (aided by a BOA SI belt) and watching what I eat. Here’s a graph of the progress to date of my weight loss.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/x2s0cphb1cu1f4n/weight%20graph.jpeg?dl=0

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Stuck at 150 pounds and frustrated

Haven't made weight loss progress in nearly a year. I know it's as "simple" as eating in a calorie deficit, but I'm also trying to tone with exercise not just lose weight. For context, at my heaviest I was 167 pounds (I'm just shy of 5'3". I'm currently at 150 pounds.) I lost the first 10 pounds by stopping drinking soda and following a keto diet for a couple weeks. While I found great success with that diet I found it too restrictive and horrible for my mental health. That was at least 2 years ago, I've been able to whittle away a few more pounds and maintain keeping the weight off by staying moderately active. I got at least 10k steps five days a week at work and worked out for 30 min-1hour or so 2-3 times a week. (Mostly Emkfit's HIIT's but sometimes weights with friends)

Since January I've started doing one upper body day, one lower body day, and I toggle between full body or a HIIT workout (I did Emkfit's flex weight program from Jan-March which was around 45min-1hr of weightlifting 3x a week) but I'm currently just picking one of her videos that pertains to what I want to workout that day. So it ends up being 30-40min 2-3 a week. I've also been really working on getting enough water. Started this year with 80 ounces a day, I'm now drinking 95+ ounces consistently. And the past couple weeks I've been working on getting more steps on my days off (at least 5k instead of being sedimentary) I still get 10k+ steps on the days I work.

Any tips/advice, favorite low cal recipes/snacks are appreciated. And thanks for reading/replying to this long rambling post, but I really am trying. And while I do over all look a little leaner, and I know a pound of muscle looks better than a pound of fat I'm frustrated. I don't mind being 150 pounds so much as I do looking like I'm shaped like the Grinch.

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