I hit my goal but feel major depression from loose skin

I'm a 31 year old female, 5'10" and went from 262 to 176. My main reason for weight loss was I wanted to find a relationship and have a family one day (I've been single my whole life due to my weight). Wanting to get married in the future was my main motivation, it's been important to me since I was a child. However, since I'm a normal bmi I have so much loose skin on my arms and a little on my thighs/stomach. I feel like crying whenever I have to change clothes or when I do activities that bring attention to my skin. I feel like even though I worked hard I'm just as unattractive as before and will never be able to start any relationships now. I know the basic advice is to save for surgeries but I'm currently working a mid level job and struggle just to pay my student loans and other Bill's, much less save for plastic surgeries. I'm at my wits end and feel like there was no point in weight loss at all.

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Fatphobia & Anti-Weightloss Dissonance

I have a very obese friend who is very concerned about fatphobia. They seem to be pretty allergic to the idea of losing weight, so I've never really brought it up to them, but I do idly talk to them about my own weight loss because it's a pretty big part of my life and it'd be dishonest to just... not talk about it, I guess. They don't seem to take it personally, at least, but I do seem to notice they seem to think I internalize fatphobia to some degree. But we don't talk about it in much depth because i'm not terribly interested in arguing about it.

But it did get me thinking about the idea of fatphobia, and how it's used as dissociative point to avoid the idea of weight loss when you're in the stages of denial. (I was, for a while). I did experience fatphobia... quite a lot, and I've experienced people being significantly kinder and more respectful to me as I've lost weight. It's something, to be frank, that pisses me off. Because... I shouldn't have to lose weight to be deserve common human decency that my peers enjoy. People with other mental health and medical issues aren't subjected to the same degree of hatred and disgust that obese people are, it's to a point that if you even try to talk about fatphobia, people will categorize you as a specific kind of strawman.

So in a way, fatphobia aids in this dissonance, making it all the more difficult for many obese people to accept that weight loss is even an option that they have. Because it feels like giving up, it feels like admitting that fatphobic people are right, that you as a fat person are disgusting, undeserving of empathy, love, compassion, quality health care, clothes that fits or looks good, etc.

I guess I wish that it wasn't an automatic assumption that being a fat-acceptance activist didn't mean anti-weightloss at the same time, that more it meant trying to bring people to be aware in how they treat others is unacceptable, no matter their current weight, if they're currently gaining or losing.

It's definitely a frustrating ordeal. I think often of the difference of my treatment before and after weight-loss, but how I'm the same person on the inside, and the injustice of it makes me quite angry. I'm still quite fat, too.

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Should I go KETO or CICO?

I, like many others, have gained significant weight during quarantine. Specifically about 20 pounds. I'm now looking to shed that weight and am unsure if I should go keto or cico. I've had success with keto in the past, it made me lose weight rapidly, but I did end up putting back the weight I lost after I got off it.

Another thing that concerns me about keto is whether I'd be able to exercise properly (also trying to get back into shape) without carbs in the diet. Side note also, I went running today, and am pretty sure I caught a few smirks/people laughing at me. I don't know if it was my hair in the wind or just how I looked running, but come on people, at least I'm trying.

With regard to cico, I have had success in the past as well, but that was back when I was 18 years old so unsure if it would be as effective for me anymore, as my metabolism isn't as fast and I don't move around as much anymore (especially since I work from home).

I'm 26 yo female, 5"4, 162 lbs (73 kg). Which weight loss strategy would work best for me? Thanks so much for any input.

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Rude awakening pushed me to seriously start losing weight. It has been 12 weeks, and I have lost 13.2 pounds without starving or depriving myself.

I knew I had gained weight due to the pandemic but didn't really realize by how much until vaccinations started early this year. I had always thought with my husband being considered an essential worker, he would get it in our family first. Our state considered obesity as a comorbidity, so out of curiosity, I weighed myself sometime in March to see if I could get it with him. Turns out, I had gained 20 pounds and pushed my BMI into the obese category. I am 5 ft. 3 in. and at that weigh-in I was 179.8 lbs.

I knew I had to lose weight, but it had to be done sustainably and long-term. Crash diets were not going to cut it for me as we're a food-loving family--we love to try new recipes and bake (this became my downfall during lockdown as we turned to cooking and baking for comfort when we lost our father to the virus in March 2020). I also had not seriously done any weight loss programs as an adult other than just making sure I exercise during weekdays. I've never been a slim person but was relatively happy with my plump figure. But hitting the obese category for BMI (and yes, BMI isn't really the best gauge of health, but it's a start), I knew that I had to make some changes, especially considering my partner and I are thinking of having a child in the next three years.

The only way I could see myself continue eating my favorite foods but also lose weight was a daily caloric deficit that would equate to shedding one pound a week. I also needed to up my exercise game because I knew my chill 20 minutes every weekday on the elliptical wasn't going to cut it. So I did the following things:

1. Paid for a full version of the Lose It! app. I don't remember exactly why I decided to get the paid version instead of just sticking with the free app, but I don't regret it at all--it's such an incredibly helpful tool, especially when you can put in your own recipes. I also love the welcoming and cheery interface, so it's not really daunting whenever I open it up to check or input data.
2. Calculated the calories of all our favorite recipes (and anything we ever cooked and baked, basically). All the recipes we cook and bake now have little tables written on them with the calories for each recipe, because not only is it great to record the base calorie count, but it gives you flexibility too whenever you want to change it up.
3. Put our digital food scale permanently on the counter. We weigh absolutely everything, especially when we cook and bake. This is critical for me, especially on days when I want dessert like ice cream or cake. And also allows me to eat rice with every meal if I wanted to (and being Asian, I want to most days!). So now it has a permanent home right beside our toaster :)
4. Bought an older model Schwinn spin bike that didn't cost an arm and a leg and upped my exercise time to minimum 30 minutes on weekdays. I am usually able to do 45 minutes (with the first 15 minutes basically just slacking off, haha), but since I am only able to workout in the morning, there are days when I want to sleep a little more. I absolutely love my bike and it is probably one of the best things I ever bought during the pandemic. I usually am able to burn 360-420 calories per 45 minute ride depending on how fast or slow I'm able to warm up.
5. Bought an Apple Watch to track TDEE. I wanted to be really accurate with the caloric deficit, so I decided to invest in an Apple Watch as well to be able to track my TDEE every day and get a really good sense of what my average TDEE is plus also count how many calories I'm burning during my workouts. It is excellent for me, because I love seeing data and adjusting my routine based on what the data says to avoid plateauing.
6. Weighed myself every single day (at roughly the same time of day) and tracked it on a TDEE spreadsheet. As I said, I love data. I deal with data every day at work and I saw this as an opportunity to have data on my body that will allow me to make better decisions. So far, everything has been pretty accurate in terms of what my Apple Watch says is my daily TDEE and caloric intake on the Lose It app. It takes a little bit of patience to not go crazy when you don't see what the data says should happen that day on the scale, but it usually adds up. I also learned so much about my body, like that it goes through the whoosh effect every other week. I love knowing this!
7. Did not eat calories lost above my usual TDEE due to exercise. This was an absolute big no-no for me! The reason for that is that I know I will have cheat days, so I want to make sure I make up for it in some form.
8. Did not track calories during holidays, special occasions, and trips. I want to enjoy life and eat some really sinful things every once in a while, ya know?!
9. Still eat ice cream, gummy bears, and baked Cheetos. As long as they are weighed and tracked, it hasn't been a problem. The fact that I am able to still eat these things have contributed to the effectiveness of what I've been doing. I'll probably have a small bag of baked Cheetos (120 cal) three times a week. Most weeknights when I'm super exhausted from work, I'll have 50g of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie after dinner. These foods are yummy and make me happy. I eat them and I'm still on track for one pound a week. Marvelous.

For reference, here are my CICO stats:

• Average TDEE: 2260
• Average daily caloric intake: 1680
• Average daily caloric deficit: 580

I am now at 166.6 lbs, back into overweight BMI territory. When I get to 160, I will reassess my workout intensity and caloric intake to prepare for the next 20 lbs. I eventually want to be at 140, which is the top end of normal BMI for my height. I'm not in a rush, though, because I know and I feel that this is the right way to go for my body and my mental health.

These last three months have really been an empowering and validating experience for me, so I wanted to share it, especially for those who are feeling stuck. Thank you for reading.

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Scale Milestone and Weight Loss Details

Stats: F/24/5'4"/SW: 225/CW: 160/GW: 145.

I'm officially down 65lbs by using CICO and Intermittent Fasting (20 hour fast, 4 hour eating window). I eat my 1500 calorie limit by 12:30 pm (roughly 500cals for breakfast, 1000cals for lunch), I work out at 5:30 pm for an hour, and then I water fast until the next morning. It's pretty easy that way since after I get home from the gym at around 7pm, I do my nightly bedtime routine and watch TV until I fall asleep to keep me distracted from getting hungry. I use the LoseIt! app to track my calorie and water intake, and I weigh myself once per week. I am not restrictive at all with my diet, I eat everything, I just make sure I get an adequate amount of protein to ensure I'm not losing a ton of muscle through this process. Keep in mind, it's taken me since 2019 to lose this much, last year I basically maintained (give or take 5lbs) because I was working from home so much and it was just a hard year for everyone. I'm down 20lbs since February 23rd of this year. I actually started my journey in 2016 and lost 40lbs, but gained 30 of it back by 2017, didn't diet at all in 2018, then finally decided to get my diet dialed in 2019, all while consistently working out 5 days per week the entire time (advice: you CANNOT out-exercise a bad diet, I am living proof lol).

I haven't weighed 160lbs since I was a freshman in high school (almost 10 years ago). The body dysmorphia is real though and I don't see progress unless I compare photos. I have 15 more pounds to lose before my goal weight! I can't believe how close I am! Happy Friday everyone, and if you're American, have a safe 4th of July! If you have any questions feel free to drop them in the comments!

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A weight loss journey in a graph

Chart

M 6'1" 47yo

Nationality: American, hence the freedom units.

Starting weight: probably over 300 lbs, but the highest I actually weighed in at was 293.

Goal weight: no fuckin' clue. Internet charts say 189. I made it to 189. I was waaaay too skinny. I think I'll be comfortable if I can keep it hovering around 200.

Starting pant size: Probably 46? 48? I dunno, I always bought the ones that could stretch out because then I could pretend I wasn't as bad as I was.

Current pant size: 32 (when worn, the one pandemic benefit.) I was probably 30 when I got down to 189.

I'm posting because I want to show folks that this really is an up and down journey and if you let setbacks get in your way then you reduce the chance that you're able to trend the direction you want. In the graph I've annotated some of the "setbacks" I've had, but I'm not mad or sad about any of them. The long term goal is just to be happy and healthy.

I was pretty big, but the guy in the mirror wasn't. This is a trick our mind plays. I didn't look fat in the mirror, I didn't feel fat. But I was. I wasn't healthy. I was diagnosed pre-diabetic.

My doctor recommended a hospital run group diabeetus prevention class. I was reluctant. I'm not much of a "joiner." But I went in with my wife, which made it more bearable.

There was no information in the class I didn't already know. Junk food bad. Calories in < calories out = weight loss. Eat moar veggies, etc. One exception: The instructor passed around rubber representations of one pound and five pounds of fat. One pound of fat is a LOT bigger than I thought it was, and would probably surprise a lot of folks. Five pounds of fat broke me.

The class had a weekly weigh-in and I think it really, really helped. I was kind of a little bit competitive, and I did lose the most weight in the class (also, the class started with like 30 people in it and ended with 6.)

But the class ended and I kept going.

The big weight loss was just due to setting a calorie budget and then sticking to it. I also started walking and getting 10k steps a day (this eventually evolved into running, with another setback of trying to do too much at once and injuring my knees pretty bad. Don't do that kids, keep it slow.)

I religiously weighed in every day (when possible, I didn't take my scale with me on work trips and vacation -- back in the before-for when we could travel.)

I cut alcohol to a minimum. I still drank on weekends (in moderation) and -- as you can see from the chart -- on vacation I went a li'l ape shit. But it's OK! I got back on that horse and rode that shit back down.

I ate what I wanted. I just ate a lot less of it. I didn't care about macro nutrients. I weighed everything I ate and logged it into the lose-it app. I made the "mistake" of stopping that when I hit my "goal" weight (which I just wanted to see if I could hit it, I already knew it would be too skinny and that I'd want to go up a bit.) I'm still not weighing food, but I'm back to no weekday alcohol and smaller portions by eyeball. It's probably easier to do if you log, but I'm trying to be able to do this without technological help this time. It's working, just not quite as dramatically. But again, that's OK! This is a neverending story journey.

Some wonderful weight loss moments:

• I had to re-train my ipad facial recognition twice.
• I was held once at the airport because my ID didn't look like me anymore. I had to show them the linked graph. (A much earlier version, obviously.)
• I had to buy a new wedding ring.
• dat feeling when I put on a shirt that didn't have an X in it.
• dat feeling when I put on a medium shirt.
• I ran 5 fuckin' miles. FIVE FUCKING MILES. AT ONE TIME. WITHOUT STOPPING. WITHOUT BEING WINDED. JFC I still can't believe that. (I'm out of that again, winter + pandemic closing the gym got me out of the habit, but I'm getting back in.) I used to not be able to jog a few hundred feet before I was out of breath and sweating.

And a few more subtle things:

• the bed sheets stay on, mostly.
• I can bend over and tie my shoes, no kneeling, no propping my foot up on something.
• my smile looks so much better.
• I sweat a lot less.
• I out-walk my dog. Poor guy.
• a million other things....

Anyway, I hope this inspires someone. Thanks for reading!

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I am pissed off.

So I’ve been on my weight loss journey since Sept 2018. I’m 5-2”and over 40 somehow my weight had crept up to 210lbs. I had stopped working out and didn’t watch what I ate. I felt terrible. After having a break down at my Dr. office I made a commitment to myself to lose weight.

And I did! I got down to 40lbs lost in February of this year. Only 3 more pounds until I was no longer obese! That was my major goal.

To get there, I have chosen to lose slowly and steady with CICO plus WW. I find it much easier to work out then be very strict with my diet. This may be the problem. I lose weight really really slowly like 0.25lbs a week.

In March I got a new job and slipped up with my eating. Was more stressed. I’m still working out 4x week. I’m strong, I have visible muscles but I gained like 5lbs back! To some that’s not a lot. Hell some people will gain that in water/poop. For me it’s 6 months of work down the damn drain!

It’s not like I’m binging. I’ll have 2 cookies or 2 glasses of wine. I’m just eating like a person. It’s just so frustrating how hard this is. What do I have to do, stop eating? Only eat kale. Deny myself all tasty food and alcohol. I don’t know. Thanks for listening.

-end rant

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