In June I was ready to kill myself. I didn’t because of food. I had just lost 46 lbs and was at my lowest weight ever at the time. But I still wasn’t happy. I didn’t think I had anything to live for and I couldn’t see a way out. So I ordered pills online and decided to end my life. The day came and I decided, fuck it, I can break with my healthy diet and eat and drink whatever I want before I kill myself. So I binge drank and ate and bought and smoked weed. Ultimately I never killed myself but just started binging every day. I gained back all the weight I worked so hard to lose and now I’m fatter than ever, probably around 200 lbs at 5 6. I have recently found a way out but now I am faced with the weight loss again and it is so hard. Right now (even though I have a way out in the future) food is still my only thing to live for. So I am stuck. Food saved my life in a way but it is also killing me at this point and I am so tired of having this horrible addiction and fighting and I don’t know what to even do at this point.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/oJFAvxn
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