Longtime lurker, first-time poster. I have been overweight almost my entire adult life. Once I graduated high school I didn't do sports anymore, (I used to be a dancer and gymnast, then a competitive swimmer.) I purchased my first car and stopped walking/riding public transit and this is when it got really bad really quickly. I've always had a sweet-tooth and late night snacking on entire bags of chocolate became the norm for me. I realize now looking back that I was struggling with a binge-eating disorder for probably close to 20 years.
When I got pregnant and had my daughter, things improved for a period of time. I was breastfeeding exclusively at this time, with no formula supplementation. I was lucky that my milk came in strong and consistent, I know that many mothers struggle with this. I could not keep weight on me to save my life, no matter WHAT I ate. This was the first time that I went below 200lbs in more than 6 years. All the baby weight came off, and then some. But once the breastfeeding was over, my eating habits stayed the same and I went right back up to my pre-pregnancy weight.
About 5 years went by, my kid started elementary school and I started working again and had more time for myself than ever before. I decided to recommit to my weight loss, and I started by quitting all processed sugar. Candy, juices, soda pop, EVERYTHING. I dropped 40 lbs over the next 6 months but it wasn't sustainable to cut it out forever, and as soon as I allowed myself even a little I went right back to my old habits and weight because I had not done the work necessary to change these habits.
Cue a global pandemic, being a front-line essential worker and all the doordash takeout. By March of 2024 it was starting to take a physical toll in a way that I had never experienced before: My joints hurt constantly, especially my back and hips. I was snoring so badly at night it was interrupting my sleep and my spouses. I had heartburn on the regular, even when I tried to cut out most acidic foods such as tomato sauce etc. Most embarrassing of all, I was starting to have difficulty wiping myself after using the restroom. I almost couldn't reach anymore. I've always had short little T-rex arms but this was a new low. I bit the bullet, bought a scale, and stepped on for the first time in years. I was 256lbs... 20lbs HEAVIER than when I was 9 MONTHS pregnant with my kiddo. This was it. I needed to do something but I didn't know what to do.
I made an appointment with my PCP and just broke down in the office. I detailed my years of struggles, my pain, my absolutely out of control eating. I described how one day for lunch I bought a full sized pizza, finished it in about 15 minutes, then went next door to get a bacon sandwich and a full fat venti mocha from Starbucks. When I say out of control, I meant it.
She listened. We did some tests, and she sent me to see a specialist or two. They started treating me for binge-eating disorder and ADHD. Over the next 6 months, my desire to binge just slowly withered away. By Jan 2025 I was 230lbs. For the first time in almost 20 years I felt hope. I really got committed in January, and now as of this morning, I am approximately 205lbs. I've lost 25lbs in about 2.75 months. That's incredible!
I'm currently about 1/2 way to my goal, and I have never managed to maintain this level of commitment for this long. I'm terrified my motivation will slip like so many times before and I'll just go right back to where I was.
How do you guys stay motivated for a weight loss journey that is going to take literal YEARS of dedication to get to where you need to be? I'm not used to this and I need all the inspiration and motivation I can get to keep going to the finish line.
Thank you if you read my essay, cheers!
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