Sunday, August 4, 2019

Why can’t I do this?

I’m feeling so discouraged and unmotivated. It’s so sad that I can’t lose weight. I’ve been at this so long I don’t even know how long. I can’t stop overeating. I can’t seem to find the right kinds of foods to stay full throughout the day. I tried Keto and fell out of it. I try counting calories and consistently go over or have trouble logging foods. I just feel like maybe I’m not going to be able to do this. I’m so unhappy and seeing myself the way I am just makes it worse. :( I hate the way I look and feel.

250 lb male 6’ - have been on this weight loss kick for almost 10 years if you can even call that. I feel so pathetic.

How can I stay full without getting so many calories? I’m so discouraged and sad.

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Day 1? Starting your weight loss journey on Sunday, 04 August 2019? Start here!

Today is your Day 1?

Welcome to r/Loseit!

So you aren’t sure of how to start? Don’t worry! “How do I get started?” is our most asked question. r/Loseit has helped our users lose over 1,000,000 recorded pounds and these are the steps that we’ve found most useful for getting started.

Why you’re overweight

Our bodies are amazing (yes, yours too!). In order to survive before supermarkets, we had to be able to store energy to get us through lean times, we store this energy as adipose fat tissue. If you put more energy into your body than it needs, it stores it, for (potential) later use. When you put in less than it needs, it uses the stored energy. The more energy you have stored, the more overweight you are. The trick is to get your body to use the stored energy, which can only be done if you give it less energy than it needs, consistently.

Before You Start

The very first step is calculating your calorie needs. You can do that HERE. This will give you an approximation of your calorie needs for the day. The next step is to figure how quickly you want to lose the fat. One pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories. So to lose 1 pound of fat per week you will need to consume 500 calories less than your TDEE (daily calorie needs from the link above). 750 calories less will result in 1.5 pounds and 1000 calories is an aggressive 2 pounds per week.

Tracking

Here is where it begins to resemble work. The most efficient way to lose the weight you desire is to track your calorie intake. This has gotten much simpler over the years and today it can be done right from your smartphone or computer. r/loseit recommends an app like MyFitnessPal, Loseit! (unaffiliated), or Cronometer. Create an account and be honest with it about your current stats, activities, and goals. This is your tracker and no one else needs to see it so don’t cheat the numbers. You’ll find large user created databases that make logging and tracking your food and drinks easy with just the tap of the screen or the push of a button. We also highly recommend the use of a digital kitchen scale for accuracy. Knowing how much of what you're eating is more important than what you're eating. Why? This may explain it.

Creating Your Deficit

How do you create a deficit? This is up to you. r/loseit has a few recommendations but ultimately that decision is yours. There is no perfect diet for everyone. There is a perfect diet for you and you can create it. You can eat less of exactly what you eat now. If you like pizza you can have pizza. Have 2 slices instead of 4. You can try lower calorie replacements for calorie dense foods. Some of the communities favorites are cauliflower rice, zucchini noodles, spaghetti squash in place of their more calorie rich cousins. If it appeals to you an entire dietary change like Keto, Paleo, Vegetarian.

The most important thing to remember is that this selection of foods works for you. Sustainability is the key to long term weight management success. If you hate what you’re eating you won’t stick to it.

Exercise

Is NOT mandatory. You can lose fat and create a deficit through diet alone. There is no requirement of exercise to lose weight.

It has it’s own benefits though. You will burn extra calories. Exercise is shown to be beneficial to mental health and creates an endorphin rush as well. It makes people feel awesome and has been linked to higher rates of long term success when physical activity is included in lifestyle changes.

Crawl, Walk, Run

It can seem like one needs to make a 180 degree course correction to find success. That isn’t necessarily true. Many of our users find that creating small initial changes that build a foundation allows them to progress forward in even, sustained, increments.

Acceptance

You will struggle. We have all struggled. This is natural. There is no tip or trick to get through this though. We encourage you to recognize why you are struggling and forgive yourself for whatever reason that may be. If you overindulged at your last meal that is ok. You can resolve to make the next meal better.

Do not let the pursuit of perfect get in the way of progress. We don’t need perfect. We just want better.

Additional resources

Now you’re ready to do this. Here are more details, that may help you refine your plan.

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Saturday, August 3, 2019

How many times did you start over?

I've been lurking here for almost 5 years, and "struggling" with weight loss for 10 years. I understand now that losing weight is not a straight journey and it involves a lot trials, so I was wondering about other people's experiences! I'll start with mine:

The first time I started was when I was in the 4th grade. I weighed 80KG (or 176lbs) at maybe 5'0 to 5'2. I did a lot of fad diets along with my mother. None worked for longer than a month.

14 yrs old: When my mother got sick, I upped the whole losing weight thing because I wanted to look skinny because I thought it would make her happy. (she always made it clear that I was fat, and that it upset her) She died, and I gave up. Gained everything back and reached my starting weight again. (now at 5'4 though)

I started over again when I was 16, because I wanted to be skinny at 16, you know? I started CICO. That triggered a binge eating disorder but I lost around ~20kg(44lbs) and reached 60KG (~130lbs) for the first time in my life. I maintained that lifestyle of eating only 1200 calories per day for almost a year. Gained half of it back when I got my first job and had to study while working.

At 18, I said fuck it to all the trend diets and picked up a book on intuitive eating. It really reset the way I felt about food, it wasn't all numbers anymore, I wasn't obsessed with food and I felt sane for the first time in a very long time. Only downside is I gained it all back and I'm at starting weight again. 😂

I'm 21 now, and I'm starting over again. This time, I'm combining CICO with intuitive eating, and working out. I'm sprinkling a little Keto because carbs make me feel bloated, but I know myself now- if I cut out carbs entirely, I will binge eat. The big difference now is that I DON'T care what other people want me to weight or look like. When I refuse food, I don't do it out of guilt- out of wondering what will whoever think about my body- I do it for myself, for the sake of health.

Looking forward to anyone who would like to share!

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Please help me (27F 5’5 CW:246 pounds GW: 130 pounds)

I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried several times to lose weight and I just get demotivated quickly I guess. My biggest issue is food, I buy the groceries for my house with a small budget. I don’t know if I’m doing it wrong, but when I try to buy healthy things, it seems to add up so fast, I have to put things back so we can eat for the week.

I want to cry. I want to lose weight, I’ve never known what it’s like to be skinny and not self conscious. I guess I’m just looking for advice.

I live in Ohio. What should I do? What do you guys buy when you’re also buying for other people? What are some budget friendly ways to eat right?

And maybe someone would like a buddy? I don’t have any friends, and my family is just like, “Oh, you’re fine just the way you are,” so there’s no support system there. Maybe, I could like, message someone and tell them I really want candy, and they can tell me not to do it and I won’t. Or something. Hold me accountable.

Wall of text. I suck. Please help me buy good food for less and maybe be a weight loss buddy and tell me not to get candy.

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Well my bad decisions are starting to catch up with me, not that they had any trouble given how obese I am and can’t even run.

Not sure what to say other than, oh frick. I’ve been gaining weight since my father shot himself 4 and a half years ago. (Not sure how my dad’s death is relevant though, but it is about the time I let myself go) before that I had gone on a 6 month weight loss journey through unsustainable eating habits that were low in calories and variations basically chicken salads, fish and sandwiches. Oh with the light green lettuce not the romaine one. And almost two hours at the gym. Eventually after several months it caught up to me and my work outs became really tiring. I would be getting woozy on the elliptical and so on. (Oh, that journey was set off by a manic episode btw. And eventually as with all manic episodes I crashed) and though I had lost 55 lbs in 6 months I realized i wasn’t doing things properly. And stopped. I started working. so did not have time for much else. February 22nd 2015 came around and my dad did his thing. And afterwards, I just let myself go. And gained 100 lbs in about 4 years. Now I’m really obese, walking hurts, working out leaves me feeling sick, I have no energy. I’m almost addicted to added sugars. I eat two really large meals a day with the occasional third. And this is what I mean that my bad decisions are catching up to me, MY BACK IS MURDERING ME! Like I don’t know if I busted it up recently and haven’t let it heal I don’t remember pulling anything. But i can’t bend over or do certain motions cuz my back is hurting me. Idk but I have a nagging suggestion that it may be weight related. And if it is I’m thoroughly screwed . Cuz though I could live with knowing that I was too fat to workout and that it made me physically ill. So I would choose to forgo working out to avoid pain. Now trying to work out will be a living hell. And I don’t even know where to start. I’m screwed. I have no friends to speak of, I have severe social phobia. And I’m fat. And most of my life I’ve fled from pain, emotional and physical. But now it’s caught up to me. And I don’t feel any motivation to workout, as a matter of fact I’m terrified.

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Weight loss goals / update

I am starting to get frustrated, but know that I am completely to blame for my slow progress. I do well when I isolate myself, but as soon as I spend time with family or friends it feels like all of my hard-work is gone. It’s projecting, but it makes me not want to see them as even if it is my fault, I obviously cannot control myself and even when I think I am staying on track, I obviously am not.

I started June 1st at 105.5 kg and am down to 102. Two weeks ago, though, I was super excited because I was down to 99kg...then, my family asked me to visit and I shot back up to 102 after just a few days. The last week I have bounced back and forth between 100.5 and 102.8 almost daily which I do not understand.

To make my next goal in under two weeks, I now have to lose 4 kg so unless I restrict almost completely, I wont make it. How do people balance family and social obligations when really trying to stay to a strict regime? The up and down is overwhelming and it is making me want to give up.

My initial goals: Goal #1 July 1: 101.5 kg: MET!

Goal #2 August 15: 98 kg: Behind....

Goal #3 Oct 1: 95.5 kg

Goal #4 Nov 15: 92 kg

Goal #5 Jan 1, 2020: 89 kg

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How I lost it, what I learned, and why this time will last.

A little background: I’m 5’2”, 20 years old, and currently 130 from 165 (obese for my height), planning on getting down to 120 in the next few months. Though this isn’t a huge amount of weight, it was all I could think about for years. I’d compare myself to my thin friends and pick myself apart in the mirror to tears. I was convinced I would always be overweight.

After treatment of my OCD junior year of high school, my pre-existing anxiety and depression and the academic and social pressures led me to obsessively control a new compulsion: my weight. I started running and stopped eating, resulting in a semester of terrible restriction/binge cycles. I lost twenty pounds in two months (158 to 138) and was congratulated by my friends and family, fueling me to continue weighing myself multiple times a day and running until I felt lightheaded. I would stand in front of the mirror after spending hours at the gym, praying that what I saw in the mirror was not what others saw when they looked at me. I ended up gaining the weight back (+5 lbs) freshman year of college.

It’s taken so much to heal my relationship with food and exercise, and be able to lose weight in a healthy and sustainable way.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

  1. I had to appreciate & respect myself as I was BEFORE I lost the weight. This was ESSENTIAL. I couldn’t have lost it if I did not love myself and my body. A weight loss driven by resentment for myself was going to be unhealthy in nature and I knew I would end up gaining it back. My journey was driven by respect for myself and the knowledge that I deserve to live a life in a body that I am content with and comfortable in.

  2. Lose the weight in a sustainable way. Restricting calories too drastically will always end in binging for me. I realized that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life caught in that cycle, experiencing a complete lack of control around food. It’s terrifying not to feel in control of your body in that way. For me, this means exercising portion control, and not having “off limits” foods. When I’m happy with where my body is, that means the only diet changes I’ll be making are just increasing the amount of food that I’m already eating and enjoy, which is going to make it less likely that I’ll gain the weight back than reincorporating food groups that historically result in binges for me because I already allow myself to eat them in smaller amounts. For me, this looks like an 80/20 approach every single day.

  3. Eat when you’re hungry! If you’re starving, it means your body needs food. It’s taken me a while to distinguish between when I’m hungry, thirsty, or just bored, but if your stomach is growling and you feel like you need to eat something, have a snack. I used to try to cut out all snacking. This just resulted in overeating later in the day. Hunger fluctuates day to day. Listen to your body, honor it, and try to fuel it with good, healthy foods most of the time. I’ve learned that it’s okay to have even a week of maintenance if that’s what I need. Slow and steady.

  4. Exercise is absolutely not a punishment. When I was in the depths of my disordered eating, I started long distance running. Not because I loved it, but because I needed my calorie deficit to be as large as it could be. Now, my time exercising is typically my favorite part of the day. Figure out what exercise works for you. For me, it’s HIIT, strength training, hot yoga, and the occasional long run. I love even putting on a podcast and going for a walk. I exercise because I love seeing what my body is capable of and it feels so good to experience myself running faster and lifting heavier. It’s a mental game, and it feels good to win.

This is longer than I thought it would be, but I really hope it helps someone. I am the most confident I’ve ever been. I never thought I could be losing weight without my entire life revolving around food and exercise. It feels so, so good. And I want it for all of you.

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