This has been a while coming. I don’t often, or really ever, post. I have been a lurker here for quite a bit of time. I have used this place as a form of support and ideas on my journey to a better self. I think that is the concept that I have settled on for how I look at what I have done for the past year and a half, working towards a better self. I feel like I might have something to share with this group that may help out someone in their own journey as well.
The background:
I have been on a weight-loss journey before in my early 20s. I started in the higher 260s and worked my way down to the lower 220s, with the lowest hitting 218. Being 6’2”, this was a pretty weight for my build. I was eating less, and running more. But the running was my downfall. Looking back, I had started running too soon with too much weight to carry. I hadn’t built up the strength in my core and around my knees to handle the continued distance and speed I was throwing at it. After about 2 years, my knees couldn't take it any more. I hated the feeling of not being able to run or intensely walk at the same rate. I had put so much value in the cardio of running that I didn’t feel like going to the gym anymore to just use the weight machines. Looking back now I think I really enjoyed the endorphins of running. The elliptical didn’t do much for me. Stationary bikes are not my cup of tea.
This is also where the lesson of “You can’t out run your fork” was learned. My eating was only less, not better. I was still eating crap, but just not as much. I knew nothing about Macros, just maybe cutting down on processed sugar. At home things were fine, but work was another story. Muffins, candy, happy hours after work that turned into dinners were not handled with much thought. If food was there, I ate it. When the running stopped, the food really caught up with me. The lack of a healthy relationship with food maintained during the weight-loss also played a part. When stress got high, food was consumed. When something good happened, food was consumed. I always tried not to eat too much, but I didn’t even try to figure out when I would hit the “too much” level.
I stopped moving with intent to lose weight. I stopped caring about what was coming into my body. I thought life was fine. I thought, “you have lost the weight before, you can do it again… later” I had a stable job, good friends, so why worry about the extra wings or nachos or pizza. It was for a reason, right?
The lead up:
This continued for years. Life had its ups and downs. My weight added up. 280, maybe I should hit the gym again? 7 times, then nothing. 295, getting married, got to do this for us. Nope. 310, ok, now this is too much and we have a kid on the way. Lost ten pounds, broke my toe and the donuts consistently won the battle. Still life moved forward. I had been hanging out at this weight for a while, but I started to notice it was getting a little harder to sit in my office chair for longer periods of time. There was this pressure just below my sternum. Pants didn’t fit, Sweaters that were comfortable in the past, felt tight. Button-up shirts strained across my middle. Walking kept getting to be more and more of a chore. It was easier to wait for the next bus, if I saw the one I wanted to catch pull up and I was 15 ft away. I knew I needed to make a change in how my life was going. I had stopped sleeping the same as my wife due to my snoring keeping her up.
The next steps:
I had a weight taken for some life insurance we were updating. I had hit 342 in March 2018. This was definitely too much. Right before this I had started to look at various Youtube channels, ObesetoBeast and Boogie2988 had recently had his surgery. I was really starting to look at how I was living my life. Knowing what had moved me to stop working out before, I wanted to focus on strength. I also knew that I had to get my eating in order.
One of the self discoveries I made through the years, I like routine and process. I found this with learning to DE / wet shave, learning to properly smoke a tobacco pipe, and to some degree through computer programming. I downloaded MyFitnessPal as many others have here. That worked very well for me to weight out and log my food. The data aspect really helped me get a handle on what I was putting in my body. For the strength training, I wanted something that I hadn’t done before, but seemed like it might help. I started with StrongLifts 5x5. I had always been curious about using a barbell, but thought it was rather dangerous. I researched the basic 5 lifts of the program. This absolutely filled the check box for routine and process for me. The cues, the movements, all fit right in with how I approach things. I knew that ultimately I wasn’t going to get super strong with this type of approach. I was cutting too many calories for that to happen. But I am getting stronger in a general sense. I set a long term goal of losing 150. Getting to that point will put me in the normal range for my body type. Now, I know those ranges are some what set by math alone, but I just would like to be a weight I haven’t been since 6th grade.
After about a year of work and lurking here for support (although, I did ask a question about shoes once), I had used the StrongLifts program with some simple walking as cardio and CICO to get down about 80 lbs.
The current situation:
Here is were the true change comes into play. I was laid off. Then my wife was let go as well. This was hard. But we had made plans to help deal with situations like this (thanks to r/personalfinance for the recommendation of an emergency fund). I was still able to continue on the journey. I hit 100 lbs down. Then my mom passed. This was very, very hard on me (and still is to some degree). Lots of stress, lots of emotion. Then got a new job. More stress. I have been able to maintain my weight loss. I have still been able to go to the gym and lift and walk.
I feel like I am not using food as a crutch. I do know that I need to eat more protein and fiber though. I have been at a plateau for about three months, but I am okay with that. I don’t feel like I have stalled. I mean I would love to see more downwards trending happen with the weight. I do feel like I am getting stronger. I have been really looking at the technical side of the lifting and my numbers in that area have been improving. Maybe with this I have been building more muscle to replace the fat? I don’t know.
While weight-loss is the start of the goal, getting a better sense of my self and being in control of how I eat and when I eat has been the greatest change for me. While I do have the gym and the eating going for me and I have returned to same bed as my wife, I am thinking that maybe there is more to explore within myself. I am in the process of looking for a therapist to help unpack some of this. Also, I probably need to start weighing out my food again to re-calibrate what is going in my mouth.
Tips:
*For me, I found it easier to think about eating like the weight I wanted to be at, rather than losing 1 to 2 lbs a week. It was just a mind set that worked for me.
*Routine for me was the biggest help to keep going. Get up and go even it is for just a little bit.
*Wipe off your equipment and put away your weights when you are done.
*Walking works wonders. Find your rhythm to go a little further. A music genre podcast helped me. Giving the type of music I liked, but a wider variety, didn’t get as repetitive as a playlist.
