I apologize in advance for the wall of text coming. I'm on mobile and will try to break it up as much as possible. I also apologize for this not being weight loss related (I've been keto 4 years, down 65lbs) but I truly want to try and reach out to people and maybe help someone find their solution.
I've posted before about my driving and general anxiety that came on very suddenly almost 7 years ago. I was fine one day and not the next. I loved driving, it was my "think" time. I was very social and loved going places and meeting new people.
One day, after a short drive down the interstate and while stopped at an intersection, I got very dizzy, my vision blurred and I had a massive panic attack. Every time after that when I drove the panic attacks would come on almost immediately. After that, even being in a vehicle would cause vertigo, dizziness, nausea, panic attacks, racing intrusive thoughts, constant squinting trying to focus and headaches. It was like someone had flipped a light switch- I was fine, then I wasn't.
Then I became unable to do my own grocery shopping and had to pay others to do my errands. I was miserable and isolated. I felt like an utter failure as a person and a mother. I eventually lost my job, my house and my car because I could no longer drive or even stand to be in public without feeling awful. Lights were too bright and everything made me dizzy. At this point even being in a moving vehicle was torture so I couldn't go anywhere. Eventually I became depressed because of my isolation but I kept on.
Everyone I talked to told me I needed meds. Doctors told me the same thing but I had this strong feeling that something was physically wrong with me, not chemically. For the last 6 1/2 years I searched and searched and nothing fit. I had never been in an accident, not had anything particularly scary happen, no head injuries.... so what happened?!
Last year while, again, searching for my answer I found an eye condition called vertical heterophoria. I got excited. Could it be my eyes?! I had almost every symptom and it made total sense. As soon as my husband got home we went to the local walmart eye center to have me examined. The Doctor told me there was nothing wrong with my eyes and that I should get my head examined instead. I am quoting him! I cried all the way home, ugly snot tears.
Since then I kept reading about vertical heterophoria. It just made too much sense. I found out that your regular eye Dr can't diagnose this because there isn't anything wrong with your eyes individually, they just don't work together. You can still see but your eyes are constantly straining.
I filled out a survey online for the specialist in Michigan and the next day I got a call. They had an office in Kentucky and wanted me to come in!
We made all the plans and went up there this past Wednesday. I was an absolute WRECK on the ride up there. It's a 10 hour drive from where we live and just a 30 minute ride is torture for me. God bless my husband and kids for being there to support me or I wouldn't have made it.
The next day I went in for my exam. They did 5 different tests and scans of my eyes. Then the Doctor did a few more test where I had to cover one eye and follow a laser on a scoreboard and read. He put these crazy looking glasses on me and we started figuring out which prisms I could see through. Almost as soon as he had the right ones in there I felt my mind relax. I was so calm! Before I had the glasses on I couldn't see the last two lines of the eye chart and the board I was reading off of looked weird. After wearing them just 20 minutes I could read almost everything! I had no idea my vision was so bad. Everything was beginning to clear up and look so sharp. He showed me a chart of something near and far with green lines where I should see and red where I did see. I was no where near where i should be. I'm looking past everything! When he had to take the glasses off I got so dizzy I thought I would faint. My whole world spun around. I couldn't afford to get the glasses right then ($650 with no insurance) so I set up payments with them for over the phone since we live so far away. He told me, for the ride home, to cover 1 eye and that should help a little. A LITTLE?! I was able to sit up and enjoy the ride home! See the mountains and cities and traffic. I felt a little wobbly but I was calm. I probably said "this is amazing" 100 times on the way home.
Within the next couple of weeks I should have my glasses and the Dr said to wait 2 weeks for my eyes to fully adjust and then I could start driving. I'm already making plans to take my kids fishing and hiking, to the water park and getting a job! I've missed people! Once I have my glasses I will post an update.
The Dr told me that some people are so off balance that they walk in the office with a cane and once they have their glasses they walk straight out! That's amazing! I told him my story and he understood it all.... everything I had went through was all my eyes and he seemed genuinely excited to help me. He also said that I was most likely born with this and as I got older I was less able to compensate and my eyes and brain eventually said no. Looking back, that makes sense. I've had subtle symptoms since I was 18 (32 now) and never considered my eyes or even that anything was wrong, until I couldn't drive.
I hope this post reaches someone out there who feels stuck and hopeless like I did. Specialists for this seem pretty spread out but it is worth the trip and the money to feel better. To truly address the problem! It is all worth it.
TL:DR- for almost 7 years I thought I had anxiety, turns out my eyes don't play well together.
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