Hey everyone. Writing this from pure desperation. I really need help with the mental side of weight loss. I could go on and on with backstory but imma try and make it as simple as possible - I’m a 23f, skinny kid, very average / borderline midsize during college years (5’5 ish, about 135-140 at my heaviest). Last year I lost 25 ish pounds (lowest weight around 112). To be honest it wasn’t even hard. Senior year of college I had tons of time to exercise. Walked everywhere. Ate super healthy - had complete control over all my food choices. Social life was a couple vodka sodas at the bar on weekends. Easy to fit in. Special occasions didn’t really do any damage since it was just here and there I’d actually indulge.
As it turns out CONTROL is the only thing I mastered, not intuitive eating or like anything else. As soon as I graduated (been home almost a year) shit hit the fan. Got borderline addicted to processed sugary foods my family buys - still struggling here. Fell into a binge restrict cycle trying to fit family outings and unhealthy foods into my diet. My whole family basically starves themselves all fucking day, and trying to eat like them was extremely damaging for me.
On top of that having a 9-5 (more like 8-5:30) is fucking kill me. I work healthcare and honestly it’s just chaotic and exhausting.
I’ve gotten a little more in control of my binge eating (used to be multiple episodes a week), but I’ve gotten it down to maybe 1-2 overeating episodes.
Essentially, something unplanned happens, it’s a weekend, I’m out of my routine, I feel bloated, or too full, or guilty, or panicked, or emotional, and suddenly I’m eating raw cookie dough and chocolate chips and 5 bowls of cereal.
I know “willpower” might sound like the problem. But it feels different. It feels compulsive. Out of control. I don’t even want to be eating but the noise inside my head screaming at me to go eat sugar processed junk is so fucking loud I can’t even focus on anything else. Afterwards I feel like shit. Another week, starting over. Another week of meal plans and exercise ruined. Another week of feeling like shit about myself. I wanna go food sober, but I can’t. I know it will make it worse and obviously it can’t happen for more than like a day. I feel bloated 24/7. The worst part is not wanting to leave my house and my clothes not fitting. It feels like genuine fucking torture. Someone please help :(
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://ift.tt/vGcnKeF
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