Mid-weight loss journey, getting married in a month. How do I stay sane?

32 F, 5'5, SW: 195, CW: 157, GW: 145

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I've been on a long, slow weight loss journey for the past 2.5 years.
In August 2017, I weighed 195. I started by doing diet bets, trying out intuitive eating, and working out more regularly.
I quickly went down to 175, where I stayed for about a year. Ready to start again, I began using MyFitnessPal and CICO (I have since switched to LoseIt), and in about 3 months I have gotten down to 155. After a lot of travel for work and my bachelorette party last weekend, I'm sitting at about 157 today.
My partner and I have had a quick engagement: he proposed in August and we are getting married in mid-December. I'm so happy. I feel pretty confident in how I look, and he and I are supporting each other as we excitedly prepare to look and feel our best on the big day.
But I'm really struggling to not go into turbo-weight loss mode for the next month to try to look AS GOOD (THIN) AS POSSIBLE ON MY WEDDING DAY.
I feel as though this is the culmination of two decades of cycling through weight loss attempts, always with some event at the end of the rainbow, hoping to finally be THIN ENOUGH. I've been doing this since I was in middle school. Each summer, I swore it was the summer I was going to lose the weight, come back to school and shock everyone because I looked so healthy and good. Sometimes I would do it, sometimes I wouldn't. I just looked through a bunch of photos from high school- my weight cycled drastically throughout those four years.
How do I resist the urge to return to that mindset over the next month, as I prepare for my wedding? How do I balance the genuine desire to look and feel good on my wedding day with the crazy-making, goal-setting tendency I have to try to go overboard?
I have 12 lbs to lose before my goal weight. I'm not going to weigh 145 (my goal weight) on my wedding day. And I want to be okay with that! Can I reasonably set a goal of 150? If so, how can I approach that goal without letting it bother me if I don't meet it in time for my wedding?
How do I continue to use CICO, to work out normally, and to hopefully continue to lose weight normally and healthily over the next month, when I have a dress fitting, photos to worry about, a loving mother who tends to says the wrong thing and sends me articles on how to tone up my arms... not to mention wanting to simply spend time and enjoy this lovely period of our lives with my partner.
I'm finally feeling good with how I'm approaching weight loss. I listen to Half Size Me, I believe (after over a decade of fighting it) that CICO is going to be a necessary part of my life, and I'm okay with how slowly I've been losing weight. I want to start a family soon, and I'm thinking a lot about building healthy habits as a family. As I enter this next phase of my life, I feel centered and good about the healthy decisions my partner and I are making. I wish I could show the younger me that it doesn't have to be all-or-nothing, and that you can lose weight while enjoying pizza and ice cream in moderation. That you can exercise to enjoy it and feel strong, and that you don't have to run day after day if you don't want to.

But this wedding is getting in my head. I would really appreciate some perspective and guidance on keeping it real over the next month.
After the wedding, we're going to Paris for four days... and you can bet your sweet ass I'll be eating every croissant and drinking every glass of wine on my honeymoon and not tracking a damn thing. I genuinely believe it's all about balance!
TLDR; I am 12 lbs from ultimate goal. How can I set a reasonable goal for my wedding in a month, and not go crazy trying to lose all the weight as fast as possible?

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I'm ready to restart

Good morning Lose-it people,

My name is Jay, and i am writing this, not to receive any form of sympathy or honestly even a reply really. I just want to put all this out there to prove to myself that i am not afraid of facing the facts; that i lost the weight and gained it all back and am starting all over.

In 2014 i weighed 300lbs and decided i didn't want to be that guy anymore. I was dodging invites because i didn't feel like leaving my bed. I ate like a garbage disposal, and drank soda like it was water. So i started walking, then jogging, then eventually running. I counted my calories, I drank water all day every day. I listened to self help podcast, and found this subreddit. 40lbs down and people started to notice. It felt amazing getting told i looked good. By the beginning of 2015 i was at 205 lbs, almost in Onderland. But then, i started dating. I would eat out all the time, i started drinking just to stay social. I would skip the gym because someone would want to go Disneyland instead. Of course i don't blame any of these people, no one twisted my arm. I just wanted people to like me.

It was gradual at first, 1 pound here and there. 210lbs "I'll shave off those 10 pounds easy" 240lbs "No big deal, I'll go extra hard at the gym next week" But the gym never came...

2019 and i am back at 300lbs. My eating habit is back to garbage. I'm drinking soda and eating junk food on the regular. Walking is now hard for me to do and i get tired and winded so quickly. Shirts i labeled my "too big - will donate" has become my go-to shirts. The self loathing has also returned.

But i'm ready to restart my journey, or maybe this is a new journey. I am in a loving relationship with someone who supports my weight loss dreams. I want to be around for our future adventures. I don't want something like, my legs hurting to be a deciding factor for fun activities. Also i just miss, being proud of myself. I want to be happy to be me. And thank you r/Loseit you helped me the first time with motivation and kind words.

Sorry this was a long read, but if you took the time to read it. Thank you.

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Need New Running Shoes? Here’s how you can tell…

Do you know how many miles your current running shoes have on them? Today I’m sharing 3 tips to decide if it’s time for new running shoes! Running shoes can be considered the most important piece of running gear. You want to make sure you’re wearing the right type for YOU. And once you’re running […]

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Do we have a 'comfortable weight' to which we get back to eventually?

I've recently been struggling not to overeat after upping the amount of sport I do each day (which means I can't stick to my 1200 calories any more but have to up it a bit - I just don't know to what number yet). To solve the issue I read Binge over Brain by Kathryn Hansen. This was useful in some ways but unhelpful in others.

Kathryn makes the simple argument that everyone has control over what they eat at all times. They don't have to be lead by the lizard brain that literally always wants to eat. That's fine. However Kathryn also states in the book that all weight loss/purging after a binge is useless as the body will 'recover' in its own way and return to a comfortable base weight no matter how much you struggle.

This has me a bit discouraged. I find it difficult to motivate myself to keep losing weight and I've gained a few kgs since my last weight loss spurt as well. I am wondering if you guys have some experience or opinions on this. Please discuss!

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Every day I read another self-loathing post authored by someone who has regained weight and hates themselves for it. It SUCKS and many of us have been there. Can we make a "silver-lining" thread where we talk about the things that are easier/better because this isn't our first time?

I've been full of self loathing for letting myself gain back so much weight. I see similar sentiments posted here every day. I've lost about half of it again. (204>134>204>171) and only in the past few weeks have I been able to see past my resentment enough to see that I did and do have some advantages this time around.

I thought maybe if I had stumbled upon a thread like this when I was "starting again" I may have been able to stay more positive. Also, others may have noticed silver linings I haven't, so I'd love to hear if anyone has noticed any.

1. Knowing more or less how many calories are in your favorite foods, because you've already looked it all up before. Even if you're very vague in your estimation range because you're not THAT good, you can still get a good idea of what options are more or less healthy.

2. Knowing more or less how big a portion size is supposed to be. If you've ever tried to lose weight before you know that a "bowl" of cereal is SIGNIFICANTLY larger than "a single serving" of cereal. However, a meal size of chicken may not be that much larger than a "single serving" of chicken. Not QUITE the same as point 1 but kind of.

3. Knowing how you react to hunger. Some people get cranky. Some people get tired. Some people get thirsty. Some people (me) get anxious that they might get hungry later so they preemptively eat food they didn't even really want. Knowing these things about yourself gives you a chance to make a strategy to manage the hardest moments. For me, this means throwing a snack in my purse "in case of emergency" so I'm not eating to avoid something that may never happen.

4. Knowing how weight loss ACTUALLY works. Taking away the veil of secrecy. If you eat fewer calories than you burn, you lose weight. If you don't manage your hunger, you're probably gonna regret it. (Yeah, you can technically lose weight eating 1200 calories of french fries and macaroni and cheese a day, but that food won't make you feel satiated and you'll make yourself miserable trying to stick to that diet and will probably end up bingeing.)

5. Having practiced self control. This didn't come over night for me. But this is the thing that got me thinking about this whole thing the past couple of weeks. In my fridge, right now, I have chocolate truffles from Costco. I don't even remember when I bought them -- probably 6 or 8 weeks ago. I've grazed on one or two of them when I have a chocolate craving, but now that I understand how satiation actually feels and I don't enjoy feeling uncomfortably full -- hell, the fact that I can even /identify/ uncomfortably full -- I don't behave the same way. Now just one or two feel SO RICH that I honestly don't want more. I honestly feel like "that was really good but god is it so heavy. I /could/ eat another one I guess but honestly I will enjoy that same chocolate so much more tomorrow when I haven't just had it." It used to be that by buying a box of costco truffles, it meant that I'd basically be eating handfuls of chocolate truffles any time I felt /not full/ and I would have eaten the whole box in 3-4 days. (Remember, I'm talking costco truffles. Any old supermarket box would have just been "dinner".)

I would be really curious to see what other people could add.

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I need your help, kind strangers!

This is my first time posting. I have been reading a lot of posts and lovely comments in this subreddit and they inspired me so much! However, I need your help. I can't do this alone anymore and right now, I don't know what to do and where to start.

I have been overweight almost my entire life (now 34F| CW114kg/251lbs) and have been dieting on and off for years during high school, college and afterwards. A few years ago, I got therapy, because my eating became even more obsessive and had a lot to do with not handling emotions well. Therapy helped a bit, but I didn't lose any weight and after therapy my eating became just as disordered as before. I tried OA, but that made matters even worse: I tried a strict food plan, going to meetings, having a sponsor, but after my initial weight loss of around 5 kgs (11lbs) in 6 weeks, I just couldn't do it anymore. It was so dogmatic and made me feel so little and stupid and sad and insecure all the time. That was last February and since then, I've gained everything back + more: I gained almost 12 kgs (26lbs) since February and my eating has been out of control these last few months. What certainly didn't help, was a lot of family-drama, the kind that started my whole eating misery as a child to begin with. The problem is: everytime I start to track my calorie intake, I become completely obsessed and crazy about is within a matter of days, which always results in overeating. I have tried everything: WW, low carb, a horrible juice fast, shakes and a number of other shady diets. The only thing that makes me feel good physically is IF: I have been doing that on and off for a few weeks now (16:8), but somehow, within my window I still overeat, resulting in binges sometimes, because I seem to be afraid of being hungry. I do love healthy food, but I eat a lot of junk, because I always want to 'start tomorrow'... Writing this makes me even feel more stupid, but I feel it's good to get this out of my head.

Don't get me wrong. I don't want to have a pity party here and I know that I have to change something in order to change my relationshop with eating. I WANT to change. But somehow, I just lost any idea how to do it: therapists said that I can never diet again, OA said there plan wasn't a diet but it really, really was a very strict one and it made everything worse, but not dieting makes me eat junk a lot of the time. I want this to stop. I want my obsession with food and eating to stop. I want to be healthier. I want to be kind to myself and not to be angry all the time because of my eating, or not eating, healthy, or not healthy, or even thinking about eating...

On a positive note: I started running four weeks ago and started very, very slowly. I have made myself a schedule to run 5K in March, in a match with my students (I am a teacher). I run three times a week (30 minutes of walking and a bit of running) and I try to go to the gym for 30 minutes of strenght twice a week after running. I love it: it makes me feel good, and proud of myself, but I feel the bad eating makes me feel less energized than I want to.

Right now, I feel like a have to make 'The Plan' again: track my calories and be strict, and this time it work, et cetera... but I don't trust myself anymore around 'Plans' or food. Something in my mind made me write this post first. So please, give me advice! What do you think I should or shouldn't do to break my obsessive cycle?

Thank you for reading this. Love and good luck to all of you!

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5 Signs You’re Prone to Emotional Eating

Are you a mindless muncher? A comfort food connoisseur? Or a break-up binger? Don’t be ashamed. For many people, emotions and food are so intertwined, it’s hard to differentiate between eating for fuel and feeding your feelings.

Hence the term, “emotional eating.”

There are two types of hunger—emotional and physical. Emotional hunger is the need to eat when physical hunger isn’t present. It is essentially feeding our feelings with food.

7 Reasons You Eat When You’re Not Hungry & How to Deal

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Emotional eating is a vice. Food elicits a wide array of hormones and chemicals that dance around in our brains, sending us feelings of comfort, happiness and ease. According to the National Institute of Health, eating releases dopamine, which activates the pleasure center of the brain. The long and short of it? Food makes us feel good.

And while studies suggest thatpeople with a body mass index (BMI) in the overweight or obese range more commonly turn to food as a coping mechanism, determining the reason for thus is a bit of a “chicken and egg” situation; there is an ongoing debate over whether the binging tendency or the weight gain comes first.

What’s Your Number? BMI Explained

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Like many vices, emotional eating is a health concern. It is obvious that eating beyond your physical needs can cause serious weight gain. And with excess weight comes an increased risk for diseases like cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, among others. Eating disorders can also develop when emotional hunger is accompanied by cycles of binging and purging. But the signs aren’t always so extreme or so obvious.

So how do you know if you’re an emotional eater?

Here are five common indicators that emotional eating is a problem for you:

1. You Turn to Food When You’ve Had an Argument with A Loved One

File this one under comfort food or food for comfort.

Difficult emotions are, well, difficult. An argument can cause stress hormones to spike. Initially, stress may decrease appetite, but as the stress persists, hormones are released that can increase your cravings. During prolonged periods of stress, appetite can remain high regardless of physical hunger or nutritional needs.

Unfortunately, carrot sticks and celery boats may not be enough to satisfy your stress-induced appetite either. Studies have found emotional hunger causes very specific cravings. Sad people prefer ice cream and cookies, not salad and broccoli.

2. You Overeat While Working Late or Studying

The big issue with emotional hunger is that we eat more than we normally would, which puts us at risk for weight gain. Psychologists call this unconscious eating. While performing a task like studying or working on a big project, we can let ourselves become too tired and too hungry. Hormones go crazy and send sudden urges to your brain requesting food. We polish off the entire bag of chips, box of cookies or gallon of soda. We finish the rest of the pizza or find ourselves elbow deep in a big bowl of buttery popcorn. Overconsumption of calories leads to obesity. Consuming foods high in sodium leads to hypertension. Saturated-fat-laden treats endanger our hearts. Unconscious eating, while seemingly innocent, can become a danger to our health.

10 Simple Ways to Stop Eating So Much

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3. You Turn To Food When You’re Bored

The American Psychological Association found in 2012 that when boredom was added to the emotional eating scale it became the most commonly cited emotion while eating. Cravings can be specific for bored eating, too. Research has shown that people who eat out of boredom crave salty, crunchy snacks. Eating these foods releases chemicals in the brain similar to chemicals released by some drugs. Like a drug, food creates a soothing, calming effect. That’s why we look forward to food when things get a bit wearisome. As with all forms of emotional eating, eating because of boredom leads to extra calories, possibly spiraling into significant weight gain. Even in the absence of stress or sadness, bored eating can be the root of a failed weight loss effort or sudden jump on the scale.

12 Things to Do Instead of Mindlessly Snack

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4. You Hide What You Eat

But why? Emotional hunger feels sudden and urgent. It’s irrational. We make bad choices. We eat too much. This causes feelings of guilt. The guilt can then create feelings of shame, which may further fuel the binge. The National Eating Disorder Association lists secretive behaviors such as eating alone, hiding or hoarding food as a behavioral characteristic of binge eating.

Shame and guilt are powerful emotions. A 2014 study found that feelings of shame coupled with anxiety elicited larger binge episodes in women compared to anxiety alone.

Are Your Friends Dooming Your Diet?

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5. You Eat When You’re Anxious

We all get anxious: A new job, a big meeting, an intense social gathering… A study in 2012 found that higher rates of anxiety in college woman correlated with higher reports of emotional eating. At the beginning of the semester, anxiety was at its peak, with new classes, new faces and new adjustments. Of course, emotional eating was at its highest then, as the college students coped with this anxiety.

As far back as 1957, research has confirmed that overeating can be a means of easing emotional discomfort and anxiety. To complicate the issue even more, overconsuming high fatcomfort foods can exacerbate negative emotions and stress. Hence, the vicious cycle of overeating and anxiety sets in motion.

Emotional eating, regardless of the source, is certainly a cause for concern. The longer the cycle continues, the more difficult it could be to break from it. The key is finding new ways to cope with the underlying stress, anxiety and boredom, that don’t involve food.

How to Stop Emotional Eating… for Good

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The next time an emotional experience has you plunging into the pantry, throw on your sneakers and head outside for a brisk stroll instead. A number of studies indicate that participating in aerobic exercise can help decrease tension, boost mood, improve sleep and improve self-esteem. The best part? You could experience anti-anxiety effects after just five minutes of aerobic exercise. Or, step away from the snacks and reach for the radio instead. Studies suggest that listening to music can elevate your mood and reduce stress levels. (Check out this article for even more reasons to crank up the tunes today).

Have a pet? Cash in on some extra cuddle time. Studies suggest that spending time with animals can help boost your mood and alleviate feelings of loneliness. Want even more reason to pamper your pet today? We’ve got you covered with this article: 8 Reasons Your Pet is Good for Your Health.

Other strategies for avoiding emotional eating? Try calling a friend to discuss how you’re feeling, or tackling that closet clean-out project you’ve been putting off. And, if you find that you absolutely cannot cope without sitting down to a snack, make sure you opt for a healthier version of the food you’re craving. If it’s ice cream you’re after, try one of these “Nice Cream” recipes. If crunchy, salty stuff has your heart, try making your own veggie chips or fries . You can also stock up on your favorite Nutrisystem snacks, so you’ve got healthy options on hand when cravings strike. Here is a list of the 20 most popular Nutrisystem snacks and sweets.

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