Hi :)
I wanted to share with a group of folks that I’ve been so inspired by, and know that I’ll be supported and not judged. I grew up with my grandparents until I was 5, and then came to live with my parents. I ended up gaining almost 30 pounds when I was 6 years old from school lunches - no joke. My parents went from no kids (I was raised by my grandparents) to a 6 year old who didn’t speak English and was spoiled rotten, and a newborn baby as well. I spent the entire year eating school lunches, playing by myself in the house with no physical activity, and a massive interest in processed American food. I remember eating nonstop because I went from two doting grandparents with a massive network of aunts and uncles, to two overworked employed parents and a new baby brother.
It didn’t help that both of my parents had massive issues with food. My mother is the worst binge eater and starvation artist ever, and frequently used food as bribes and punishment. We were given the amount of food that she felt was necessary - and it was all based on her whims. I’m 26 now and she still does that...she’ll go on these weird hinges where she’ll eat a massive bag of chips for dinner and won’t eat for a week, or she’ll cook very healthy and balanced. My dad grew up literally in poverty and starved, and has given himself multiple health issues and diseases from his overeating and nutritional issues over the years. When he moved from China to the U.S., he landed in the hospital due to overeating. The snarky comments only served to discourage. I’m not sure if anyone else has Asian parents, but they’re not exactly...kind. The biggest thing to a lot of them is “saving face”, so when you’re 9 and your friend calls you “Fatso” because it’s funny, it’s not the best thing when your mom is embarrassed for you and decide that changing your name to “Fatso” is the most appropriate encouragement for weight loss.
So...it’s been a journey. At my heaviest the last few years, I was at 255. Things have always been weird for me - my brother, who is an avid runner and very in shape, always said that it didn’t seem like I ate enough calories to be at the weight that I was at. However, the last few weeks have taught me so much. One boba tea is 450 calories. A sandwich isn’t a sandwich if you put tons of random crap on it. Those crackers and cheese and salami plates have so much sodium and fat.
I’ve been averaging about 1600-1800 calories a day and tracking my macros. I did some playing around and stuck in my usual diets, and there are days when I’ll eat under the calorie count, but drink a TON. Or I’ll go a whole day with no protein. Or no water. It was BAD. I’m also making sure I hit 12,000 steps or more per day, and got a cute light purple Fitbit. I’m 26 and it’s time to really get healthy.
Looking forward to sharing this journey! I’ve mended my relationship a LOT with my mother as an adult, and she’s a big advocate for me now. It’s funny, she’s interested in helping me cook healthy Chinese recipes while insulting the KPop diets I tried, and it’s been nice connecting with her. Even as she eats an entire gallon of ice cream while I scramble egg whites.
SW: 255 Two weeks ago: 244.6 CW: 236.4 GW: 150
I’m currently at 236.4, which is the lightest I’ve been since HIGH SCHOOL. I’m not an emotional person at all - my friend calls me an icy snake, but I cried when I saw that 236.4. Since 11th grade, I haven’t gone below 240. But the scale was at 236.8.
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