Comments about my weight loss are making me incredibly uncomfortable

This might not be the right place. for this but it’s been on my mind snd idk where else to post this...

My (23F) staring weight was 270 at 5’10.

I didn’t hate how i looked at my starting weight and have always been confident in my body and was able to feel good even at my largest. I’m losing weight because i want to be healthy and i want to avoid the afflictions of some of my family members...

Ive lost a total of approx 35lbs in 6 months (including regaining about 10 during the holidays) and people will not stop commenting on my body.

I dont see too many people because of covid but I recently went to my partners parents house after they’ve been fully vaccinated and his mom kept talking about how much better i looked and how I should’ve done it sooner and she can’t wait to see me once i’ve lost all the weight, etc. She would also use me as an example that my partner also needed to lose weight and basically called him ugly and said he could look so much better if he lost weight “since I was able to do it. “

I’m conflicted because i am proud of the work i’ve put in but they way they describe it just makes me so sad. I wasn’t ugly before and i don’t really look “better” i just look a bit different. The way they’re congratulating my weight loss and making fun of my partner for not losing weight makes me feel like they saw me as a less than human person before i started losing weight.

I always knew i was treated different/worse for being fat but I guess it’s kinda jarring to see people be so open about it.

I knew with losing weight that people would notice and probably comment but this just makes me feel sad and gross and i really really hope that comments like this aren’t the norm when you lose weight.

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Is this really how moderation and weight loss works?

I’ve struggled with moderation for my entire life. I’m either a perfectionist or I don’t give a crap at all.

Today we were out with our boys and decided to grab Taco Bell. According to my mfp calculation I would readily consume my entire calorie allotment (1500) in one meal. Today I had fewer calories (450) for lunch at Taco Bell than I did yesterday when I ate my “healthy lunch” of a tofu scramble and salad.

I don’t feel sick or stuffed.. but I do feel so much anxiety.

It’s the same feeling that I had when I had a 150 calorie protein bar with my plain latte this afternoon.

Please tell me that a little bit of fast food or processed food won’t derail my efforts and keep me at this weight for my entire life so long that I stay under my calorie goal. I know plenty of people had to have achieved weight loss while moderating treats and fast food and processed foods. I feel like I just can’t convince myself that it’s okay. 🥺

ETA: I have been tracking for 3 weeks and have lost about 8 lbs. I eat a mostly whole foods, vegetarian diet. The anxiety drops up when I stray from my whole foods diet for something processed, even though it isn’t often. I feel like I’m going crazy because I can look at my mfp showing my weight loss and calories remaining and feel like a failure for having 450 cal of Taco Bell over 450 calories of beans and veggies, even though it’s maybe twice a week at most. I feel out of control it certain ways about labeling foods strictly as good or bad.

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Weight loss is not always a proud feeling. Today was a very raw experience.

When extreme weight gain was a defense mechanism or trauma response, shedding that weight does not always feel like something to be proud of.

On most days, I do feel more confident and more energetic due to my weight loss. Today was not one of those days.

I haven't really worn "real clothes" during my entire weight loss journey, since I've been working from home and have had no need to dress up. But today I needed to dig through my closet to find a proper, well-fitting outfit. Everything hung across me like a garbage bag. As I stood there swimming in my clothes, I felt an unsettling, palpable feeling like half of my body was missing. Like my protection layer was missing. Like that big blubbery part of me that kept people away—and kept me safe from being hurt by bad people—was gone.

I felt tiny and fragile standing in those giant clothes.

I kept digging through my closet and finally found something that fit. Clothes from college—a very rough period of my life. Putting those clothes on transported me right back in time to that place I've tried to leave behind. Putting on those clothes felt like putting on an old version of myself that I wanted to leave in the past. The clothes fit exactly right... and at the same time, I felt suffocated in them.

Weight loss is as much of a psychological journey as a physical one. For those of you whose weight challenges have deep roots, know you are not alone. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. It can hurt at times but it's for our own good.

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30 Day Accountability Challenge - Day 1

Hello losers,

Happy March! Since it's day one, I'm going to give y'all the low down again in case you didn't catch it in the sign up post. Which by the way, is an arbitrary name. You are always welcome to hop in or off or in again whether you signed up or not!

For the newbies to the sub reddit, please start here, so much good info!

https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/wiki/quick_start_guide https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/wiki/faq

And hey, maybe it’s not a bad idea to review them anyway to you returning conquerors. I do occasionally to remind myself of the basics.

Here’s what we do in the DAC my friends!

This is the sign up post to outline your goals, weight loss, self care, creative, whatever keeps your motor going.

There will be a daily update post for you to chime in about how day whatever is going!

At the end of the month, there is a wrap up post to reflect on the progress you made or didn’t make & what you learned. Learning is progress my friends!

We try to foster a supportive, caring place to discuss the actual day to day of deficits & counting & caring so much about how we fuel our bodies & lives. So be kind, interact if you like & hopefully you feel supported by the internet version of a push up bra! Leading by example, here I go!

Weigh in daily, enter into Libra & report here even if I don't like it: I looked at the scale & immediately forgot the number & to put it in libra this morning. Monday for ya. Tomorrow I shall be more vigilant. X this morning, 229.9 lbs trend weight. Entering it even when I don't like it.

Stay within calorie range (1800): I think I should be good today, some guestimating on fajitas will occur. 1/1 days.

Exercise 5 days a week: 30 minute lunch walk & 30 minute stationary bike. 1/1 days.

Self-care time (journaling, beauty treatments, anything that fills the bucket, non food rewards): I'm going to address the pile of laundry on my bed & there will be a long shower & skin care routine after.

Try a new recipe once a week: Nothing yet, although I tried the pickled peppers from last month & those need to happen again for sure, with more exciting seasonings & types of peppers. X/4 weeks.

Express mindfulness and or gratitude: Today I am grateful for revisiting a blog I've seen referenced before but never spent enough time on. Captain Awkward for the win.

Your turn!

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Finally reached my milestone of 50lb weight loss!

F, 5’5 I started my weight loss journey around the end of September at my heaviest of 270lbs. I felt sick, unmotivated, and tired all the time and I finally had enough. I started the first few weeks on a Keto/low carb diet and decided it wasn’t sustainable enough for me so I stuck with calorie deficit and going to the gym as least 4 times a week. I’ve found not limiting yourself and eating what I want in moderation has helped reduce binging and helped my overall mental health in regards to weight loss.

I started seeing a personal trainer which helped me develop a pretty standard gym routine and feel more comfortable at the gym by myself. I don’t see her anymore but I started weight lifting and doing the 12/3/30 treadmill workout on cardio days.

I definitely have had weeks of no progress, weight gain, plateaus, etc etc but today I weighed in at 218.4! I’ve been wanting to reach over 50lbs of weight loss so badly and I am so proud I finally did it. I definitely have more to go still but I wanted to thank everyone here for the motivation and kindness. I couldn’t do it without you all. Keep pushing and stay positive!

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February’s diet is March’s body – share your progress!

I posted last month about seeing the results of how we’ve treated our bodies during the previous month. Progress shows up gradually – and on a bit of a delay - so we need to remember to look for it!

Weighing myself every day drives me a little crazy so I’m checking in monthly. I lost 16 pounds in February and I’m almost at the exact halfway point of my weight loss journey. I’ve now lost 9 pounds in total. I’m aiming to lose 181 overall so I’m almost halfway there.

On New Year’s Eve I thought about how far I had to go. I gave myself a deadline of three years to get to my goal weight so I’d be finished by the time I’m 33. That’s how old Jesus was when he died. I plan to be as cut as Jesus is in all his sculptures by the time I turn 33. I’m calling my journey ‘The Body of Christ’.

I’ve been planking, squatting and lifting five nights a week. I have a Youtube playlist of music and instructor-led videos that I’ve been adding to as the weeks have gone by. I’ve been doing a little more every day and stepping it up again at the beginning of the next week.

I cannot believe how much my body’s changing! My wrists are getting skinnier. I can feel that I’ve lost back fat which is just lovely. I’m back in some old smaller clothes and I fit back in my old sports bra (which was a personal goal) so I can start running again. My face is so different than it was 90 pounds ago.

I had a bit of a wobble in the middle of February. I hurt my knees and I missed a few workouts. It really dragged me down mentally but I kept remembering something I read on Tumblr years ago.

“I already know what happens when I give up. I want to see what happens when I don’t.”

I managed to eat within my calories every day even when I was off my mental game. My motivation has returned and I am excited to head into a new month. With workouts I’m going to start doing four strength days and two cardio days during the week with a rest on Saturday.

Really looking forward to the start of next month to see the payoff from the work I’m going to put in throughout March. Yet another Tumblr saying about weight loss I remember reading is -

It takes four weeks for you to see the difference in your body

Eight weeks for your friends and family to see

And 12 weeks for the world to see

For others like me that started (again) at New Year, the end of March marks that 12-week point. Next month we’re going to see such satisfying results even people that don’t know us will be able to see that we’re walking on air. No matter where you are in your journey I hope you take time to celebrate your progress so far and look forward to results yet to come. There’s something quite powerful about visualising your goals. Picture yourself at your best then work on making it a reality. We can all do this.

Well done with your hard work this month! I really want to hear how everyone did. Remember that self-discipline is the highest form of self-love. We’re doing this because we love our bodies, not because we hate them.

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Are these MY legs?!

I'm writing this in my car, still INCREDIBLY excited so please excuse any errors.

So, I've started my weight loss on January 4th this year, the usual CICO and IF. My starting weight was 89,9kg (198lbs), my current weight as of today is 84,3kg (~186lbs), so yeah, my weight loss is not tremendous but it's honest work!

Today I went as an advisor to help my dad pick his new "formal" shoes. It was my first time in a long while wearing jeans instead of rocking the usual sweatpants-t-shirt duo.

You know they have these big, wall-length mirrors at shoe shops, right? So, I was wandering around the store, waiting for my dad try on another pair and something suddenly caught my eye. I took a few steps back, looked in the mirror cricitally, and... Oh my God, are these my legs??? Are these MY calves????? Calves that so not meet in the middle??? That don't look so friggin swollen?? No, are you serious? Is this not a prank or one of those reality-bending mirrors? Am I dreaming??

My legs, especially my calves, have always been one of my biggest insecurities. I'm short (1,64m), so my weight is distributed everywhere on my body, especially on my (short :c) legs. My calves have always been really big and "meaty, " for a lack of better word. I always felt ashamed of them, and I avoided wearing dresses and shorts (or even knee length or calf length pants) because I thought they looked awful. Even my family always commented on that.

The change is not big. It's not like I suddenly have supermodel legs or something. They're just a little slimmer. But the change IS there, and I can SEE it. I'm teary eyes right now, gosh, I'm so happy. I've had troubles seeing any real change with my weight loss despite other people complimenting me on that (and despite me documenting my weight loss in pictures), and it kinda hinged on my motivation. But now, seeing my ugly calves just a little less ugly... I'm all over the moon. Truly.

I wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for one post from this subreddit urging me to be one of the people sharing and celebrating their weight loss results by the end of March. Thank you r/loseit, I know there's still a long way to go for me, but this time I'm not giving up!!

And you, the person reading this, whatever the difficulties, you also should not give up. On anything. Let's keep going together!

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