The solution I finally found was to lose weight with someone I love - 40lbs Down

6”3’ 31yo male, who grew up in a family that didn’t know anything about portion control or calorie counting. I’ve been ‘trying’ to lose weight on and off since the first time someone called me chubby when I was four or five? In my twenties I finally gained the tools and knowledge to begin trying different diets, and the two I landed on (that are now my go-to methods) are calorie counting and intermittent fasting.

The truth, though, is that I have tried both of these multiple times before and would always yo-yo back the weight after a while. I’d be on a great run, seeing results, but I’d eventually fall off the wagon. I’ve finally figured out why - I’d just get sick of the voice in my head telling me to lose weight (I would always end up being cruel to myself in this voice, trying to force myself to stick with the weightoss in order to look ‘normal’), while the voice in my head that was kind to me, was also invariably the one telling me to treat myself to a binge meal, that I had ‘earned it’. My mental health craved the kindness and a break from the cruelty, and I would always end up giving in, going months without trying to think about ‘calorie counting’, lest those negative thoughts came back

This time around, my partner wanted to lose a little weight with me, and all of a sudden the ‘voice’ convincing me to keep going was coming from someone outside of myself who loves me. Likewise, I became their ‘voice’ - constantly telling them how proud I am of them, and motivating them to keep moving forward. All of a sudden my thoughts about weight loss began to change - I was no longer cruel to myself, because someone I loved was on the same journey and I couldn’t imagine saying those hurtful things to them.

Anyway, now I’m not burned out about my journey. I’m dropping the pounds fast and motivated to keep pushing until I hit my goal.

TL;DR - Dieting with my SO taught me how to lose weight with positivity and self-love.

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Women who strength train - I have some questions for you!

I really want to have a healthy relationship with food and I can tell I'm on the cusp of a very unhealthy one. I'm counting calories but I'm finding I'm always secretly aiming to eat under my calorie goal. I'm seeing weight loss from it but I know it's not sustainable so I've now developed anxiety because I feel like I could gain it all back in a second. My exercise has been commuting to work on a bike (weather dependent - so more anxiety about weight gain if I miss a few days) but also a strength training program with a physio (for a non-chronic back injury).

I know what I want, I love strength training and I want to continue that and I want a stress free relationship with food. My impression (could be wrong) is with strength training you tend to eat more than you think you should, to help with your lifting. I want to eat to fuel my body but also know I'm ok to eat whatever I want occasionally because I can trust that my body can handle it (alcohol at social events, eat something delicious and decadent because someone has cooked for me etc).

So I would just really love to hear from anyone who started out a bit like me and is now feeling much more in control of this aspect of their lives. What was your turning point? What helped you get comfortable with a higher intake of food? How did you transition from one to the other and what does your life look like now?

Long winded replies welcome!

🙏🏼

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What is the difference between weight loss and inch loss?

I’ve been doing very well these past 2 weeks with my diet, fasting, workouts, and lessening my meal proportions.

I was expecting to lose more weight than I did. I took water pills last night so I don’t have to deal with the water retention when I weighed in today. I don’t think I really lost anything, or maybe I still have a little water retention.

Although, I noticed I lost an inch around my stomach and my waist. I’m pretty hyped about that because even though I want to lose weight everywhere, I’ve always been insecure about my upper body so I’m glad I’m seeing progress. But like could this lost inch just be water weight that I lost? Maybe I should’ve never took the water pills.

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Weight Loss Halt

I am 5’9 165ish. I started October 2020 at 235lbs 5’9. I ate 1500 calories for a good 7 months with lifting Down to I’d say 190. Went up to 1800 calories and started soccer instead of lifting. Went down fast to 175 around September 2021. Weight stayed the same until November. Started wrestling November still eating 1800. Currently down to 165 since wrestling started. I feel as I’m not losing weight anymore. It has been a good 6-8 weeks since I’ve seen a change in the scale. I track everyday I weigh my food. I don’t even feel like my last weight drop 174-165 was even me because I had covid an completely lost my appetite for a week. Should I cut calories? Keep going at 1800? Maintain for a week and go back to 1800? Maintenance used to be 2300 honestly haven’t recalculated since I’ve lost weight. Any advice or jus anything appreciated. I tried google searching and couldn’t really get a definite answer for my situation. 16M 165lbs 5’9 also at weight certs for wrestling they said 18% bf idk how accurate it was though.

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Being called big by ‘well meaning’ relatives as a child does so much damage

Honestly wish more people understood how damaging it can be to call a child fat, chubby, big etc. One because it’s largely out of their control. And two, more often than not it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. You see yourself as a fat person and that’s it, that’s who you are - and subconsciously you start behaving accordingly. Eating more (comfort eating due to low self esteem), avoiding sports because ‘I’m too big’, illogical crash dieting, which just leads to more weight gain. When otherwise if no one had said anything and bruised your self esteem you may not have gained anymore weight at all. The ‘slightly chubby’ child to actually fat adult pipeline is so common.

And even when you do have periods of lower weight, or you have had a successful weight loss journey it’s impossible not to identify as big. I spent several years of my earlier twenties in the mid range of a healthy BMI and I still felt huge. Recently a friend told me her weight and it was 5 pounds lighter than I was at that time. My always thin friend who I look at enviously as one of the ‘tiny people’ and she’s currently 5 pounds below where I was 4 years ago. I’m about 50-60 pounds away from that right now and I’m on the journey to get back. But there’s a part of me that knows I’ll still feel like the big girl even then. And that a lifetime of discomfort in my own body (and subsequent weight gain as a result) could’ve been avoided if adults understood how children process their seemingly offhand remarks.

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Those who've lost a large amount weight, how long was it before you learned your new body's perimeters on things like alcohol or caffeine?

[M, 22, 6', 200lbs down from 345lbs] I started to notice this recently, especially with alcohol. Before I started losing weight I wouldn't say I was huge drinker, but I was a pretty big one (pun only half intented). At least once a week, sometimes twice, I'd drink myself silly with friends. Being as I was massive, I could drink a heroic amount of alcohol before getting too drunk. Not healthy, but my friends and I remember be being able to do this.

When I started losing weight alcohol was one of the first things I put a limit on. I'd drink maybe once a month, and usually only 1 or 2 beers with food. Recently I've hit a (plateau/ slow down point?), I'm not at my goal weight of 175, but I'm comfortable enough where I'm at to loosen up my diet with proper exercise and restraint. I started to allow myself to get drunk with friends again from time to time. Not once a week, never once a week again. Still only like once a month or month and a half, but it's become blatantly obvious my tolerance has gone down.

I went to the bar, where I was once able to down easy 6 or 8 shots plus 2 mixed drinks without getting super wasted, I accidentally damn near blacked out from only 2 shots and mai tai. Similar instances have happened as well. Less alcohol gets me more wasted. It's an interesting observation I made, but it did take me a couple drinking sessions to figure it out. Same story with caffeine for me as well, except learning my new caffeine perimeters was more scary than it was fun, but I digress.

So, have any of you who led an alcohol-infused life prior to extreme weight loss also notice this? How did you find out? How did you take it?

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44yr Male down 48lbs

This is my sort of throwaway because I am not sure how I feel about posting here, but I never seem to see any older people in the posts that wander to r/all and thought it might encourage someone.

I finally went in to our clinic because my wife nagged enough about the weight loss program there. Turned out to be my midlife crisis appointment.. I was shocked to learn that I qualified for surgery, and I would later learn that I had blood pressure and cholesterol at levels that recommended medication. There are lots of scales and syndromes that basically say I was super at risk for a cardiovascular event (or the beetus). Without getting long winded, I will just say that I have always been overweight but active, but this was a moment where I realized that over the years the overweightness had quietly grown and the activeness shrunk. Covid didn't help.

The program there is multifaceted, basically everyone must commit to #1 seeing a practitioner once a month. After than they can choose to add #2 nutritionist visits, #3 psych sessions, and/or #4 medication. I ended up choosing 1,3, and 4. I was healthy back in the day and didn't see the need for a nutritionist, and the primary could answer any food questions that came up. I tried the psych thing once but don't feel I have strong emotional issues around eating or weight, I'm just lazy and like beer.

So I have been meeting with the practitioner monthly and was prescribed Wegovey to diminish (destroy) my appetite. Here is where I am at so far with the notable things I have implemented:

Day 1 mid Nov: 6'3" 306lb 44lb male, BP 150/100+, LDL 274, A1C 5.4

-Wegovy injection 1x a week

-30 days with zero alcohol, then holding at no more than one time social drinking per week. (Xmas to new years was an exception).

-Fast until lunch 5-6 times a week. One pint coffee/day max. Lunch is always a salad and a protein (eggs, nuts, leftover meat/fish). Dinner was just much smaller portions (we tend towards decent "whole" foods anyway, I just eat a lot). Cut out any carbs that were not whole grain. Beef is once a week or less. I don't much like sweets - I have been eating fruits and plain yogurt if I want a snack/dessert or feel hungry.

-30min mild exercise (walking) or lifting 5x week minimum. I have been alpine skiing 1-2x a week also.

-Aim for 18 cups of water per day.

Today: 6'3" 258lbs, BP 130/80 (systolic sometimes down to 115), LDL 192, A1C 4.8

At the beginning shortly after things were working I had a goal of 250lb by spring, yet I will meet that soon. In the back of my head I was thinking of pushing to 230 which was my healthy intense weight lifting weight, but maybe I will try to go less. I do think there might be a point where I get more serious about lifting/exercise and do some tracking of calorie deficits/protein etc. Skiing finally feels notably different when you drop 45lbs, and it feels better overall to be drinking way less. Sleep is improved.

Results are apparently not typical, but I was hella sedentary and drinking lots of calories. Feels nice, highly recommend.

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