How losing 185 lbs has changed how I am treated by myself and others.

I posted this progress picture earlier today, and somebody messaged me the following question and asked me to share my answer.

Background: My weight loss journey has been 5 years long, and had a lot of ups and downs. SW: 322, CW: 142. I just had 5 lbs of loose skin removed, and post-recovery, I should land at a maintenance weight of 132.

Question: I'm really curious to know your thoughts on how your life has changed since your weight loss. Have people treated you differently? Do you have sympathy or empathy for others? Has there been any eye opening epiphanies on the people around you or yourself?

My response: In terms of myself, I’ve always been very approachable/personable, but I used to be very shy, and I used to struggle more with my mental health issues. I’ve developed a lot of confidence in myself, and with running and intermittent fasting, I’ve completely changed how I treat myself. My self talk is almost always positive now. “Good job, keep it up, you can do it.” For example, yesterday I ate 3k calories because I didn’t use impulse control. Instead of putting myself down, hating myself, or feeling shitty (aside from the physical discomfort), I told myself “tomorrow will be better, you’ve got this.” I made myself step on the scale even though I knew I wouldn’t like the results today, and I treated myself with love anyway. On my walk today, I felt tired, but I encouraged myself. Overall, treating myself this way has made me a lot happier. I also don’t have to deal with the aches and pains of obesity, which also makes me feel better. I’ve been told that I seem much happier and carry myself better.

In regards to how other people treat me, after high school I haven’t felt a lot of overt negative treatment as an obese woman, but my fiancé and mother both have pointed out how people used to stare at me in public, and how now if I get attention, it’s much more positive. I’m a little oblivious to this. I also feel like people are more sympathetic. Twice today, I’ve had to have strangers bend over and help me pick something up. I feel like if I was obese, even if I had just gone through surgery, people would have been much less willing to help me, or judging as they did so.

My coworkers and other people I know personally or even vaguely comment a lot on how hard I work, so I know their perception of me has changed. I secretly wonder if this perception of me being a hard worker in my personal life affected my last performance review/promotion, even though I know my merit was ultimately the biggest factor.

The one person who hasn’t changed how they treat me is my fiancé. He loved me before and loves me the same now. He complimented my appearance at 300 lbs almost the same as he does now. The only difference is that struggles we had due to my weight (eg flying together) are gone. This definitely showed me how good of a man I have.

When I see to other obese people, I’m not gonna lie that sometimes I do pass a little judgement, because I know how much better their lives could be. This applies mostly to people who are eating to excess and healthcare providers, but my judgement comes from a place of pain, because I’ve been where they are. My biggest aspiration when interacting with people who have weight to lose is that I can inspire them to improve themselves. I always say “it’s simple, but I know it’s hard. I also know you can do it.” Everyone has to take a different path.

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NSV - didn't freak out when I went over my calorie count this week

Hey everyone, made a new account so nobody who knows me irl can link my weight loss to the ~saucy~ photos I post on my main. This is gonna be long, so I apologize.

Trigger warning: disordered eating, mental health stuff

I've pretty much always been obese with periods of relative thinness interspersed. I've always been fairly obsessed with my weight, just with varying levels of doing anything about it.

I've had success with weight loss before, but haven't managed to maintain it in a healthy way. I will now obsessively outline my weight gain/loss history, because I like numbers and oversharing and maybe some of y'all can relate.

When I was 6, I weighed more than 100 lbs. I was a pretty big/tall kid though. Fat, but not like alarmingly so I don't think. I remember reading a story in class about foot binding and remarking to my teacher that my feet were already too big because I wore a women's size 6. I was always the tallest kid in my class.

I didn't really think about my weight too much, until one day my paediatrician said 'congratulations fat kid name you're not gaining weight as fast anymore!' My heart began to race. I silently freaked the fuck out. From then on, my weight was mostly what I thought about.

Luckily, I was never bullied. Probably because I was ENORMOUS and could destroy anyone who tried. I was also smart and intimidating and soft spoken and kind, just deeply self conscious.

I don't remember when I decided to lose weight, but a few years ago I found a notebook in my room from when I was 10. I was 5'5 and 176 lbs. I wrote about how fat I was and how I wanted to lose weight.

So I come from a fat/tall family. I wasn't unusual. It was assumed I would grow up to be 6' and 250 lbs like some of my other female relatives.

However when I reached 12, crisis I realized I hadn't grown in height for about a year. I was stalled at 5'6. (Spoiler alert: much to my chagrin I did not grow taller), I also weighed 198 lbs. This was the end of the 7th grade. I vowed to lose weight.

I started with obsessively tracking my calories and staying under 1500 per day with the occasional binge. After I got down to 180 (after 2 months), I became lazy and just started restricting because it was easier.

I would eat 200 calories of cereal/soy milk for breakfast, a V8 and apple for lunch, then a smaller portion of whatever my family ate for dinner during the week, then would binge uncontrollably on the weekends. I got down to 160 about 6 months after I weighed 198. Then I didn't budge from there. I guess my weekend bingeing caught up to me/my dinners were pretty calorie heavy because I was also exercising a lot. I was taking on average 10k steps a day, had 3 intense gym classes a week, and was on the swim team and track team.

My eating habits weren't healthy. I was exhausted and hungry all day and would look forward to around 4pm when I guess my body would boost my blood sugar and I'd get all giddy and energetic.

I was obsessed with losing weight though. I still didn't feel that I was good enough. I began getting into (more) disordered eating territory. Not eating during the day, bingeing at night/on the weekends.

This continued until I was 15 then one day, I just snapped. I was on vacation with my family. I ate a sandwich for lunch. Then ate another. The ate a third. Then ate a fourth. Then I decided that eating during the day was actually a good idea, so did that. At this point I would also make myself throw up once in a while (would not recommend.) After a few months, I was 180 and stayed there for a while.

Then when I was 17, gym class wasn't mandatory anymore and my exercise went way down. I quit the swim team and only went to track practice like once a week. I was also in grade 12 so once I got into University, I became a laze and ate out a lot. By the time I was leaving for University, I weighed 220. 20 lbs more than I had vowed to ever weigh again.

But University food sucked and I had recently started a gluten/dairy free diet so my options were limited. I was also exercising a lot more sprinting drunkenly around campus on adventures at night. I lost 30 lbs in the first two months of my first year. I was 190 I was young. I looked hot! Going to University was a big change for me in how I saw my body. People were attracted to me! I got laid! A lot! I didn't feel ugly and worthless anymore like I did throughout my childhood. I maintained that weight for a while, fluctuating up and down a bit.

Then in my third year of University, I had a health crisis. I had a pulmonary embolism and could have died. After, I was constantly out of breath, would sleep for like 16 hours a day, and ate whatever I wanted trying to get energy. I never really recovered. My lungs were damaged so my ability to exercise was shot. I sunk into a depression and stayed there.

I got up to 230. I was still pretty hot though. I'd still get hit on at da club and stuff. However my mental health was not good. I reached a crisis and tried to kill myself a few times. No good.

I was hospitalized (aka lying in bed all day for months at a time, no bueno for weight gain and cardio) and put on medications with the side effects of weight gain and slowing your metabolism. Casually glosses over this period. IT WAS ROUGH Y'ALL. THINGS ARE MUCH BETTER NOW.

I got up to 275 last month. But then I decided I was a walrus human who got out of breath walking down the street and I no longer wanted to be a walrus human.

So I started tracking my calories. My goal is just under 1600 per day. The first week when I failed to stay under that target, I was devastated and felt myself falling back into disordered thoughts of being a failure, etc. I felt like shit. Then I was like FUCK THAT I AM A GREAT HUMAN THIS DOES NOT DEFINE ME positive self talk intensifies.

Sooooo this week I didn't beat myself up when I went over (and boooooy did I go over.) So that is my NSV lol. All this text for that!

Stats so far: 24, F, 5'6, goal of sub 1600 calories per day, went over most days, but still have lost 5 lbs in two weeks, and lost 2 inches from my waist.

My body type is mostly pear/hourglass with weight increasingly going to my stomach/back/arms over 230 lbs.

I'd like to get back to that sweet sweet waist:hip ratio of 0.6 I had when I weighed 160. (27 inch waist, 45 inch hips.) BUT I DIGRESS.

This is so long. Myyyyy bad.

TL;DR was stuck in some disordered eating/black or white thought patterns last week, but accepted that I don't have to be perfect to still move myself towards becoming healthier. Yay me!

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After health problems derailed me the last couple months, I’m finally past my “halfweigh” point to my first goal! Ftm, 5’7”, SW:247, CW: 211

Hi r/loseit! I started losing weight in October, but I hit some bumps in the road after the first of the year when I started having issues with abdominal pain. I had a bladder stone and digestive issues going on all at the same time and it made incredibly painful to eat vegetables or any type of fiber.

I’ve since had some other medical problems and my topamax dosage has been upped and the weight is coming off again! I’ve finally lost 36 pounds which is more than halfway to my first goal weight of 180! I am not one for progress pics but now I really want to take some. Attached are my weight loss graphs!

graphs

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Be proud of yourself and keep going!

Before I start, forgive me on the shaved chest. We went on holiday with the kids and I didn't wanna be the hairy chest guy. Instead I chose clearly shaved his chest guy and that may have been the wrong call.. I've already been absolutely destroyed on Imgur for it so give me a break guys.

http://imgur.com/a/1YGx7Q9

The picture on the left is me exactly one year ago today. The picture was the first progress picture I took on yet another day one of my latest weight loss adventure. "This is it this time"...it really wasn't. My weight gain wasn't as noticeable when wearing clothes, atleast to me anyway. But the affects on my mental health were getting worse. I decided to check My fitness Pal and the weight i recorded this week last year was 180lbs, I'm only 5 foot 7 so I wasn't feeling to great about it.

Truth is, it wasn't "it" that time either or has it ever really been. The initial motivation would float away as usual and before I knew I'd just demolished a 16 inch pizza. The cycle was ruthless. I'd have a solid 5-10 days, drop a bit of weight (mostly water weight) and succumb to cravings, binge and crash. I always thought issue was the binge, but it wasn't, far from it.

I realised after yet another failure that the real problem was my approach. My counting the days approach (which makes weight loss feel like a real chore). My starting from scratch every time I failed approach. My checking the scales 6 times a day approach. All of this meant weight loss was on my mind 24/7 and with every craving I resisted, the pressure kept building and building.

There may only be a year between the two pictures but I've lived this way for a lot longer. With solid stretches and big crashes. So, about three months ago I dropped the scales, I stopped recording my weight entirely. I stopped counting the days too and after a little while I stopped remembering to count. I've noticed little things like my fitness and clothes fitting better again but in all honesty I managed to put my weight loss and fitness goals to one side for most of the day, in a good way.

Today I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I liked it. I liked it because I didn't suck in when I saw myself, or I didn't immediately turn and pose or do something to try and ease the burden of how much I hated the way I looked. Dude, I know I am not getting onto a Men's Health front cover anytime soon. I don't expect anyone to be inspired by the physical results of my progress and I know I could be so much more advancedin my journey if I had stuck to the fifth, sixth or seventh effort. But today I was proud what I saw. I saw the results of effort and persistence mixed with the results of relaxing and having a good time as often as possible. I saw a healthy person mentally and physically.

My battle was and is not against my weight, I am in full control of my weight at all times, whether it's going up or going down. My battle is mental. Beside from the idiotic lack of body hair there is probably not that much difference between the two images but one reminds me of feeling like shit and the other feeling like I'd acheived something, and that's the most important part!

For those who are struggling today, tomorrow or whenever there are doubts about reaching your goals, don't put yourself under so much pressure, you are doing great I promise. Failing today does not mean starting from scratch tomorrow. The timescale may be extended but the goal will never be out of reach.

You are all doing so well, I lurk around on here all the time and you guys inspire me daily. Please make sure you take the time understand and come to terms with your own battles. It may not always feel this way but your weight will always be in your control, with persistence and patience. You've got this!

EDIT: Corrected some awful spelling

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Question about intermittent fasting

Hi fam,

First, lemme say how awesome this supportive group is. Y'all the real MVPs.

Second, I have a question about intermittent fasting. So, I'm pretty brand spankin' new to the weight loss/health gain journey, still just getting started.

I am F/28/198, and it's time to get serious about my health for several reasons, simplified to 1) overall longevity 2) healthy outlet for emotions 3) look good/feel good. So, I've started tracking my food/calories with MyFitnessPal, just purchased a FitBit to help with accuracy, and have gone running for the past three days in a row, both of my own accord and with the Couch to 5K app. I intend to join a gym in the near future too.

I would like to introduce intermittent fasting into the equation, either using 16/8 or 15/9. I'm curious how people choose to introduce/choose which schedule to start with. Is it hard to stay on track on the weekends?

My boyfriend and I are decently social and like to go out with our friends on weekends and we play on a social kickball team on Thursdays. Usually it's a rush from work to home to the game, which is followed by tournament style flipcup.

I don't want to give up these important social aspects of my life, and don't feel like I should have it as long as I make smart choices, so I guess I'm asking two things: 1) What's your IF schedule and how do you maintain it with social obligations?

Thank you all! :D

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Rock n Roll San Diego Half Marathon 13 Highlights from the race!

I ran the Rock n Roll San Diego this weekend and have a ton of pics and fun to share! But I’m going to keep this fast and just give ya the top 13.1 highlights…

1. The night before I stayed with Kristin @StuftMama and she brought it with the pre-run carb-loading! We made pizzas with tons of toppings. There was also salad but I was too distracted and didn’t get a pic of it.

2. I did a flat runner with everything I was going to take for the race. [Flat Runner = setting out all your clothes & gear before a run to show what you’re going to wear/have on your body during the race. It helps make sure you have everything.]

Kristin has a lot of pets including 2 hairless cats that slept with me. She also has a big dog that I love! I would have preferred to spoon with him but I’ll take what I can get…

3. Cute Shuttle!! ‘’

The race series gave me a pass for the VIP Experience – it was amazing! It includes a parking pass for a specific parking structure and shuttle to the Start. This was super helpful because we got a lil lost off the freeway and were running late!! If not for the shuttle I don’t know what we would have done!

4. The day before the race I did an 8 mile run while listening to Meb’s latest book –

I LOVE IT. I’m not done with it yet, but so far I think it’s the best running book I’ve read. I’ll review it when I’m finished, but I definitely recommend it.

The book is a highlight alone… but extra special because of something that happened post-race.

<a target=”_blank”  href=”https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/163565288X/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=163565288X&linkCode=as2&tag=rersafe-20&linkId=dce202401df5a58200071cc945641c10″><img border=”0″ src=”//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?_encoding=UTF8&MarketPlace=US&ASIN=163565288X&ServiceVersion=20070822&ID=AsinImage&WS=1&Format=_SL250_&tag=rersafe-20″ ></a><img src=”//ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=rersafe-20&l=am2&o=1&a=163565288X” width=”1″ height=”1″ border=”0″ alt=”” style=”border:none !important; margin:0px !important;” />

 

5. The VIP Tent with soooo close to the Starting Line. You can see it and hear the race announcer so you know what corral is starting next.

Plus there’s coffee, juice, yogurt and a spread of bagels…

6. There’s a separate VIP bag check – which I really appreciate because I got to wear my pre-race clothes for as long as possible. I swear my body has an unreasonable reaction to cold!! So I waited until the last minute to take off my throw-away gear, put it in my checked bag and didn’t even have to throw it away so I can use it again!! Boom.

The area has it’s own restrooms and extras in case you forgot something. (Oh, this reminds me I still have to tell you about Laguna Hills.)

7. The Race!

Kristin and I took our time starting. I wasn’t really able to eat before the race because I just felt extra nervous and weird. So I was going to listen to my body on pace and race day goals.

I still have this super tight spot in my left glute that goes down a little bit to my hamstring. I’ve been stretching and rolling it out but there’s still something there. I’ve noticed it gets extra tight after I drive and I drove about 2 hours the day before so that probably exacerbated it. (Autocorrect wants to make ‘glute’ – gluten so bad… but I’m happy with my gluten thank you very much.)

 

8. My favorite part of the course!! I love this guy!!

This is one of the landmarks for every Rock N Roll Marathon Series race – a big rocker you run under through the legs. It’s huge and fun! In the past it’s been a guy I think with a guitar?

Anyway. He’s rocking Brooks Run Happy gear because they’re the main shoe sponsor of the series. So the foam finger says ‘Run Happy’ – that’s a good reminder mid-race!!

9. Done!

Rock N Roll San Diego Half Marathon Finish Time 1:55:13

The Race Course / Review and Information

Course: The course is moderate in difficulty. There are hills. I think they’re evenly spread throughout the course so there’s not one section that really kills ya. There were a lot of cute lil shops and pretty murals to look at.

Weather: The weather is nice and mild at the start but can get warm as the marine layer burns off.

Race Day: RnR always seems to be well organized and on time. There are plenty of water stops.

Extra notes: The Music!! There are bands spread out across the course which makes it fun!

There were also a couple of different people providing beverages to runners. Cheers!

My race: I want to learn something from every race so I can improve. I feel like I’ve been phoning it in (or texting it in?). So I’m going to go over my race review form and think about my race, training and goals today.

Use this Race Review form to check in with how you did on your race.

10. Post-race silliness… it’s just me.

Kristin has been my running buddy for the last 3 races and it’s been so much more fun to run with someone!! I’ve had a hard time getting back out there and knowing she’s going to race too helps push me to show up.

11. Massage!

After the race we headed to the VIP tents, easily grabbed our stuff from the checked gear tent and signed up for a massage.

Then, I changed and by the time I was done my name was being called for massage time. The guy used some electro-magical tool to make my muscles vibrate like WILD and then they relaxed. It was exactly what I needed!! I meant to ask him what the tool was and how I can get one, but I was just in the zone enjoying it (and kind of laughing from how it felt weird and awesome).

12. Mimosas!!

Cheers! And the race medal…

and food!!

13. MEB!!

Meb was in the VIP tent and before we left I asked for a picture and told him his book is the best running book ever. I don’t know if he believed me so I just repeated nodding my head and saying it has great stories and lessons. I probably just repeated myself and didn’t make sense but I think he understood it was a compliment. The point is… MEB!! I was listening to his book the day before and then just hanging out in the VIP tent like this is normal life.

13.1  The VIP Experience is available at all races – you can find out more here: Rock N Roll VIP Experience

Now I need to find my next race!! I’m seriously so inspired by running a lot of races lately and Meb’s book and earlier morning sunrise time!! I want to sign up for all the races!

Want more?

Listen to my podcast with Paul Huddle from the Rock N Roll Marathon Series and IRONMAN

Question : What’s next on your list?

 

Note: The Rock N Roll Marathon series provided me with the race entry and vip pass. All opinions are my own.

The post Rock n Roll San Diego Half Marathon 13 Highlights from the race! appeared first on Run Eat Repeat.

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My story and Day one of my weight loss journey

My first post ever on Reddit, until now I have always been the ghost lurking and watching. Be ready for a long post this is my story. (Honestly, I needed to write this down.)

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Today is the 1st day of my new weight loss journey.

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I have always been the big kid with a love and appreciation for food. I remember my parents having fights at the dinner table about how much I eat. My mom believes that I over eat or under eat never the right amount for her, while my dad grew up without knowing were the next hot meal will come from so eat as much as you can. My mom loves me, but she never wanted a fat kid, so her love came in sharp comments about my weight and eating. So, welcome to high school were I was depressed, suicidal, and addicted to diet pills she bought me. I finale got myself out of that bad place around junior to senior year, I was happy and doing good in my AP classes. My mom loved me and got off my back about my health and physical appearance. I, also, came to learn my mom just wanted to save me from being obese like some my family members.

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All is good then comes college

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I was doing good with working out and not over eating. BUT, the food at my campus for dorms sucks ass. I ate pizza, because it was the only food not to create heart burn and stomach pain. Come to learn, They used powder milk in almost everything, which I'm allergic too. I could over come all of this, but than came "He shall not be named" or my ex boyfriend. To put a long story short, He was emotional and verbal abusive, which lead me to deal with my emotions through eating. He was fat himself, so he more than motivated the unhealthy lifestyle. I tried to go out and do things to move around, but he only wanted to stay at home. Side story, I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, and depression, so when he started to feel stressed or didn't want to be somewhere he would "fake" a panic attack. Some will say that maybe he would have one, I don't know, but it felt like faking cause he back to normal when he got what he wanted. In the end, I gained about 100 lbs in the relationship.

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Now, I'm free that relationship and I want to free from the weight that causes issues throughout my day. I will update how it goes. Luckily, I'm in a good friendship and relationship area when I'm doing this journey. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest.

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