Before I start, forgive me on the shaved chest. We went on holiday with the kids and I didn't wanna be the hairy chest guy. Instead I chose clearly shaved his chest guy and that may have been the wrong call.. I've already been absolutely destroyed on Imgur for it so give me a break guys.
The picture on the left is me exactly one year ago today. The picture was the first progress picture I took on yet another day one of my latest weight loss adventure. "This is it this time"...it really wasn't. My weight gain wasn't as noticeable when wearing clothes, atleast to me anyway. But the affects on my mental health were getting worse. I decided to check My fitness Pal and the weight i recorded this week last year was 180lbs, I'm only 5 foot 7 so I wasn't feeling to great about it.
Truth is, it wasn't "it" that time either or has it ever really been. The initial motivation would float away as usual and before I knew I'd just demolished a 16 inch pizza. The cycle was ruthless. I'd have a solid 5-10 days, drop a bit of weight (mostly water weight) and succumb to cravings, binge and crash. I always thought issue was the binge, but it wasn't, far from it.
I realised after yet another failure that the real problem was my approach. My counting the days approach (which makes weight loss feel like a real chore). My starting from scratch every time I failed approach. My checking the scales 6 times a day approach. All of this meant weight loss was on my mind 24/7 and with every craving I resisted, the pressure kept building and building.
There may only be a year between the two pictures but I've lived this way for a lot longer. With solid stretches and big crashes. So, about three months ago I dropped the scales, I stopped recording my weight entirely. I stopped counting the days too and after a little while I stopped remembering to count. I've noticed little things like my fitness and clothes fitting better again but in all honesty I managed to put my weight loss and fitness goals to one side for most of the day, in a good way.
Today I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I liked it. I liked it because I didn't suck in when I saw myself, or I didn't immediately turn and pose or do something to try and ease the burden of how much I hated the way I looked. Dude, I know I am not getting onto a Men's Health front cover anytime soon. I don't expect anyone to be inspired by the physical results of my progress and I know I could be so much more advancedin my journey if I had stuck to the fifth, sixth or seventh effort. But today I was proud what I saw. I saw the results of effort and persistence mixed with the results of relaxing and having a good time as often as possible. I saw a healthy person mentally and physically.
My battle was and is not against my weight, I am in full control of my weight at all times, whether it's going up or going down. My battle is mental. Beside from the idiotic lack of body hair there is probably not that much difference between the two images but one reminds me of feeling like shit and the other feeling like I'd acheived something, and that's the most important part!
For those who are struggling today, tomorrow or whenever there are doubts about reaching your goals, don't put yourself under so much pressure, you are doing great I promise. Failing today does not mean starting from scratch tomorrow. The timescale may be extended but the goal will never be out of reach.
You are all doing so well, I lurk around on here all the time and you guys inspire me daily. Please make sure you take the time understand and come to terms with your own battles. It may not always feel this way but your weight will always be in your control, with persistence and patience. You've got this!
EDIT: Corrected some awful spelling
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from loseit - Lose the Fat http://bit.ly/312CqY8
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